Season 1, Episode 16: All Kind of Misfits Transcript

Transcribed by Michelle Kelly.

## Intro

Rhi: Welcome back to Imperial City. As always, thank you so much for joining us. If you’re enjoying the show, please consider supporting us by leaving a review, buying merch, sponsoring an episode, or backing us on Patreon. Even one dollar a month on Patreon makes a huge difference in keeping the show sustainable. And of course, don’t forget to check out our Court of Blades mini-series and our newly launched actual play show, Love & Hellfire!

 

Keep an eye on our Twitter feed for info about upcoming charity stream appearances! The excellent TTRPGifs account is putting together a charity stream to raise money for abortion funds, and a few of us might be appearing on it. There will be more info on that on Twitter as the event comes together this week.

 

Next, Josie is going to tell us about this month’s featured charity.

 

Josie: Fund Texas Choice is a non-profit organization dedicated to travel and funds for that travel to Texans seeking abortions, even going so far as to help them travel out of state. If you’re listening to this, we just did a whole big livestream to raise money for Fund Texas Choice, but that doesn’t mean you can’t donate. And especially in the coming times, fuck SCOTUS, lots of people in lots of places are gonna need this help. Everyone who can get abortions is entitled to them, for any reason, fuck anyone who tells you otherwise, and we at Clever Corvids believe strongly in affordable healthcare for all of any sort.

 

Rhi: I’m recording this a couple days after the Supreme Court formally struck down the federal right to abortion in the United States. It’s been hard to focus on creating entertainment when everything feels so bleak. But I know from the past several years that art and entertainment and escapism are important. So I hope that this helps, a little bit.

 

In addition to our featured charity of Fund Texas Choice, I’d like to shout out the Midwest Access Coalition, which is an Illinois-based abortion fund. My home state is one of the only places in the Midwest where abortion is legal, and while our state government is moving swiftly to add further protections for out-of-state patients, the abortion funds that will be helping those patients are going to see increased demand in the coming months and years. So if you’re looking for another suggestion of a group to donate to, that’s one I’d recommend. In addition, look for abortion funds in general that you can support in your area–there’s one in every state. If you’re in the U.S., focus on mutual aid, community support, and screaming at your elected officials to do something already. I’m not going to tell you to vote–we did that already. Now the people we voted for need to do their fucking jobs.

 

If you’re outside the U.S., this is the time to fight for your civil rights. Fascist forces are on the rise across the world, and the protections that we have are often all too fragile. Do what you can to shore up your rights, or fight like hell to gain them. There are a lot of different roles to play, but we’re all in this fight together.

 

Now then. Let’s get started, shall we?

 

## Story continues [00.04.04]

Rhi: And without thinking about the wards, you reach across and grab it. And then the area around you lights up very bright. Uh… [laughs] because you just set off all the wards. So, I think that this happens basically simultaneously with the guards setting out on their patrol. So, the rest of you, you see the flashlight beams start to kind of sweep around and then on the other side of the warehouse there’s this bright flash of light and the guards who had been coming toward you just are like:

Rhi (as Guard): Oh shit! Whoever’s over there, freeze! Put your hands up!

Rhi: And they just start running in that direction.

Josie: Uh…

Rhi: So—

Josie: Are we jumping back to the others or am I taking an action?

Rhi: We’re jumping back to others, because the guards are closer to them than they are to you.

Aki: Darling will take a very deep breath and just say:

Aki (as Darling): We left our child unsupervised.

Minna: [laughs]

Aki: And in what proximity are the guards who are running over to Echo at?

Rhi: They’re gonna be running past you all. Like, if Echo hadn’t set that off, you all would need to be scrambling to find a place to hide. But as it is, they might not notice you? Probably not gonna notice you? So they’re gonna be running past, like, the aisle that you’re standing in.

Aki: And do we know how many are headed this way?

Rhi: Four.

Aki: Four. Fuck. Um… I don’t think we— I don’t— we don’t even have the numbers to knock out four. [laughs]

Minna: I believe in us.

Rhi: [laughs]

Aki: I do not. I do not. [laughs]

Rhi: You do have Pearl. Technically, there are four of you over here.

Kim: Yeah.

Minna: Mm. Yeah, let’s knock them out. Or attempt to.

Rhi: Alright. Yeah. How you wanna go about doing that?

Minna: I can also throw a silence potion vial before we do that, so that maybe— oh no, no, this is you give it to a person, it’s not a throwing thing. Never mind.

Rhi: Yeah, yeah you gotta drink it.

Minna: Oh, but it does negate all sound within a radius of within ten paces of the drinker for a span of several moments. So I can drink it just as we wade in, just to keep it quiet.

Kim: Yeah.

Rhi: Yeah! That’s a good plan.

Kim: Good idea.

Rhi: That’s a very good plan. So, Arlene’s gonna down a silence potion and then you all can leap soundlessly upon these guards. How all do you wanna go about doing that?

Aki: I’m… I’m thinking of a way to bargain if I could take two. But I have to think of a way to bargain that. [laughs]

Rhi: Okay. Uh… let’s start with Arlene, cause it sounds like you’re gonna jump in.

Minna: Yeah. It’s gonna be a Skirmish roll.

Rhi: Okay. You could also use Prowl, if you wanted to, you know, since you’re ambushing.

Minna: Oh, can I? Yes please, then.

Rhi: Yeah.

Minna: [laughs]

Rhi: Yeah. If you’re doing an ambush, you can use Prowl. This is gonna be risky… I think because of the silence potion, risky standard.

Minna: Excellent. And I think that what happens is that Arlene gets that, like, rope thing that she uses.

Rhi: Mm hmm.

Minna: To tangle people up with.

Rhi: Yeah. You just gonna trip some people?

Minna: Yeah.

Rhi: I like it.

Minna: We’ll see how it goes. [shakes dice]

Rhi: Yeah.

Minna: I fuckin’ rolled a critical. [laughs]

Rhi: [laughs loudly]

Josie: [laughs]

Rhi: You were— the dice owed you. The dice owed you this. [laughs]

Minna: [laughs] So I feel like what it is, is she jumps out, an ambush. Can I suggest that she jumps out of ambush—

Rhi: Oh, yeah, absolutely.

Minna: She tangles somebody up with the rope, like, around their— across their neck slash chest. And then like, throws them at someone else.

Kim: Jeez.

Rhi: Yeah. [laughs] Yeah, you just, yeah, you knock one of them down and then that trips someone else. So— and I think that the way they fall, they both just get tangled up in the rope, so they’re just sort of stuck together, flailing and yelling but not making any sound. So that’s two of them down. [laughs]

Aki: Aw shit.

Kim: I think it makes sense to just have this be a Skirmish roll.

Rhi: Yeah.

Kim: Have this be as non-lethal as possible. I think I’ll just have Val use their hands.

Rhi: Yeah. Just whack somebody upside the head. This is gonna be, uh, yeah, it’ll still be risky standard because of the silence potion.

Kim: okay. [rolls] Oh, you gotta be fucking kidding me. I rolled a 1.

Rhi: [laughs]

Josie: [groans]

Kim: Straight to dice jail, that one goes.

Rhi: I think you, Val, you jump out to try and grab one of the others who doesn’t get caught by Arlene’s rope, and they are a little quicker and they grab you and like, throw you into the wall. You bang your head o the metal, so you’re gonna take level 2 harm.

Kim: [sighs] Why.

Rhi: Probably got a cut on the back of your scalp.

Kim: Yeah. I’m just gonna write down Bonked.

Minna: [laughs]

Rhi: Yep. Sounds good.

Kim: Val’s going straight to horny jail.

Rhi: [laughs] Okay good, I was thinking it. Darling and Pearl.

Aki: Yes. Um, this… this, this is how I’m gonna argue for a double. I have Pearl. That technically means I have two bodies so…

Rhi: Uh huh?

Aki: The one that bonked Val will then proceed to get bonked by Pearl. I guess.

Minna: Pounced upon.

Aki: Tackled by a tiger. And I would take the last one, specifically— specifically, they turn the corner and I give them just a kick. They did not expect very large legs.

Rhi: No one does.

Aki: Mm hmm.

Rhi: Yeah, and because you’re acting with Pearl, um, she is a cohort so… I think you get an extra die for that, I believe. There’s probably more specific rules, but that’s what we’re going with for this moment in time.

Aki: Now, this is me arguing, can I do Hunt for this roll? As I am using Pearl?

Rhi: Hmm… uh… hmm. Let me look at the description of Hunt real quick.

Aki: [giggles]

Rhi: Carefully track a target… arrange an ambush…

Aki: It’s technically an ambush.

Rhi: It is an ambush, I will allow it.

Aki: [laughs] I’m fulla shit. Um….

Rhi: [laughs]

Aki: We said an extra die for Pearl, yes?

Rhi: And this is gonna be risky, standard still.

Aki: Yep, yep, yep. That’s hilarious. That’s… that’s hilarious.

Rhi: It’s either a 3 or a 6. Those are the only options.

Aki: Yeah, well it’s a 6, but it’s a 6, 5, 4. Like, down— side by side, that’s hilarious.

Rhi: [laughs] So you and Pearl, yeah. It goes off without a hitch. Pearl jumps out, tackles one guy to the ground. You kick the other guy in the face. So this group of guards has been dispatched. I do wanna jump back to Echo. So yeah, Echo, from your point of view everything around you lit up, you heard some shouting, and then it stopped very abruptly and now it’s just quiet again.

Josie: I think I wanna use that opportunity to get out of the light and try and head back to where everyone is.

Rhi: Yeah. That works. Give me a— I think this will probably be Prowl.

Josie: Mm hmm.

Rhi: And risky, greater. There are still guards around, there’s still some light here, but the main group of guards that was heading your way is not anymore [laughs] so you’ve got a little more breathing room.

Josie: [rolls dice] I got a 4.

Rhi: Okay. So you do it, but there’s a consequence. I wanna bring our Blood Rose back into this.

Josie: I mean, she’s probably mad that I did that.

Rhi: Yeah, that’s what I’m thinking. So, Echo you start making your way over to rejoin the others. I imagine a little sheepish.

Josie: Mm hmm.

Rhi: And you’re close enough that you can see the pile of guards that has been dispatched on the ground. And then, presumably from the top of the shelves near you, Rose just drops down in front of you and brandishes her dagger in your face. And she’s just like:

Rhi (as Rose): I can’t get at stuff that I needed now. What are you going to do about this?

Josie (as Echo): Oh. I’m sorry. Um. I can try and take the wards down again.

Rhi (as Rose): I think you’d better.

Rhi: And she kinda like, gestures with the dagger of like, turn around, let’s go.

Josie: Echo doesn’t act particularly threatened by the dagger, but seems suitably embarrassed, so she complies anyway. [laughs]

Rhi: Yeah. So yeah, you and Rose walk back over to the brightly glowing warded area while the rest of you, I assume, are tying up the guards?

Minna: Mm hmm.

Aki: Yep.

Rhi: Yeah.

Minna: I think Arlene’s kinda crouched over them like:

Minna (as Arlene): If you yell, I have this furry friend here that would be happy to come after you for it.

Aki: Pearl growls a little bit. Yeah.

Rhi: [laughs] Pearl has been trained when to be menacing on command.

Aki (as Darling): Mm hmm.

Rhi: Yeah. I think most of the guards are unconscious and you can, you know, make sure that they’re all gagged so that when they do wake up again they don’t say anything. So, Echo, you are being escorted back to warded area that’s glowing very brightly by a pretty lady with a knife. So, mixed bag.

Josie: Mm hmm.

Rhi: [laughs] The rest of you, you get the guards secured and there’s no sign of Echo. So I’m not sure if anyone wants to go investigate or if you just wanna focus on getting the goods, or…?

Kim: Uh… I think Val would try and find Echo.

Rhi: Yeah.

Kim: Do I have to make a roll for it?

Rhi: No, because you’ll be able to see Echo pretty clearly once you head in that direction. Like, you know that the wards were set off and you’ll be able to see, so if you head that way you’ll be able to see Echo. So you won’t need to make a roll.

Kim: Right.

Rhi: Darling and Arlene, what are you two doing?

Minna: I feel like we should like, try and find what we’re looking for, if we haven’t already.

Rhi: You— so you did— yeah.

Minna: Okay.

Rhi: You did— yeah. Yeah. But then guards, wards, chaos.

Minna: Then we need Echo and we need the wards down.

Rhi: You don’t necessarily need the wards— well, yeah, you probably should get the wards back turned off so that the next group of guards doesn’t see it.

Minna: So I think we go after Echo also.

Aki: Yeah, that makes sense.

Rhi: Alright. So off you all go to check on Echo. So we’re gonna start with Echo and the rest of the group will catch up in a bit.

Kim: Okay.

Josie: Mm hmm.

Rhi: So, Rose marches you back over to the warded area and is just like:

Rhi (as Rose): Deactivate them so I can get what I came here for. It’s important.

Josie (as Echo): Okay. What did you come here for?

Rhi: She kinda like makes a face. And is like:

Rhi (as Rose): Somebody who needs to stay dead might not be. And there’s something in here—

Rhi: Kind of gestures at the shelves—

Rhi (as Rose): That’s gonna help bring them back. I need to get my hands on it before that can happen.

Josie (as Echo): Okay. I will do my best.

Rhi: And I, I think— I think Rose is gonna be able to help. So you’ll get an extra die on this roll because she had to have some way of getting past the wards as well.

Josie: And I’ll use my arcane implements.

Rhi: Yeah.

Josie: Um… yeah, I’ll describe it after I see the result.

Rhi: Good plan. They are higher Tier than you. Risky reduced, and you do get an extra die because Rose is assisting.

Josie: Um, I would like to push myself to get standard effect.

Rhi: Yep. Done and done.

Josie: [rolls dice] 5.

Rhi: Okay. You do it, but there’s a consequence. So, I think the consequence is you’re gonna take one point of extra heat for this score, because you don’t, like, you don’t reset the wards. You just get rid of them entirely.

Josie: Uh huh.

Rhi: Which people are gonna notice. You’re able to get past them, but you turn them off a little too good. [laughs]

Josie: [laughs]

Rhi: And that’s gonna get noticed, and so that’s gonna be increased heat. But they do come down and so I think that once the light fades, Rose will just sort of, you know, give an approving nod.

Rhi (as Rose): Alright, thanks.

Rhi: And then stalks off into the shelves. And I think as she is stalking off, the rest of the group catches up.

Josie: I think Echo is retrieving her implements, which were a few metal rods of various materials, just like finger length, arrayed along the ground. I think the idea is like it’s an arcane lightning rod. So she’s just picking those up. Says:

Josie (as Echo): Oh. Okay. You’re safe.

Minna (as Arlene): We are. Are you okay?

Josie (as Echo): Yeah. I’m okay. Just turns out our friend needed to get in here.

Minna (as Arlene): Okay… huh. Guess she had more specific taste than she was implying earlier.

Josie (as Echo): Yeah. I kinda got lost in all the stuff here and… yeah.

Aki (as Darling): Well, don’t get lost again. We’re trying to keep a low profile.

Kim (as Val): And this isn’t exactly entirely our business so uh, let’s keep moving.

Josie (as Echo): Okay.

Rhi: I think as you start to move away, Echo, you look back and you see Rose come out from the shelves holding a large chunk of crystal in her hand. And you’ve seen that kinda crystal before.

Josie: Oh.

Rhi: Because you’ve got one in your chest. That’s a crystal that a soul is bound to if someone is creating a hull. So, it seems that Rose is here to prevent someone getting turned into a hull.

Josie: I think Echo freezes for a moment as she takes that in and makes a note to herself to try and talk to Rose later, once she can get away from the group.

Rhi: Alright. But yeah, are you all heading back over to the pile of guards and the liquor?

Kim: Yeah.

Josie: [laughs]

Minna: Yeah, so did we— that first guard patrol has happened, so we are now in that thirty-minute window? Is that what’s happening?

Rhi: Correct. You’ve got thirty minutes before another guard patrol happens.

Minna: I think it’s time to get some alcohol out of here.

Kim: Yeah. Let’s see how much we can grab.

Rhi: So, there’s not a huge amount. It’s like, it’s a couple cases of wine, essentially.

Kim: Okay.

Rhi: So, two largish boxes, but it’s, you know, like Val could carry one and Darling could carry one and you’ve still have, you know, room for people to loot other stuff if you wanted.

Kim: Okay.

Rhi: That’s the thing, is this is not a lot of alcohol, but it is worth a lot of money. So I think at this point if you two— if two of you wanna grab the liquor, another two of you can scavenge for stuff that you can sell for yourself.

Josie: Yeah. Although I think Echo might grab the liquor, because she’s like, ‘Okay, I already fucked up scavenging. I’ll just carry the box’.

Rhi: Yeah. Who else wants to carry things about?

Kim: I’ll carry a crate.

Rhi: Okay. So Echo and Val will carry the crates out. I presume you’ve got the Drake parked outside

Josie: Mm hmm.

Rhi: And then yeah, Arlene and Darling, if you two wanna look for some valuable goodies?

Minna: Is there anything here that Darling might like?

Rhi: Aww… uh, go ahead and make um, give me some kinda roll and we’ll find out.

Minna: I think a Survey?

Rhi: Yeah. I’m gonna say… let’s see here. Risky… risky standard, still.

Minna: That’s a 5.

Rhi: 5. Okay. I think you have a choice of you can either find something that Darling would like or you can find something that you can sell for a good amount of money for the crew. But not both.

Minna: I think Arlene’s having a moment where like, Darling has been, uh, not in a great mood. And I think she would be like kinda prioritizing soothing that over the long term. Both because she is like, 19 and because… this. [laughs]

Rhi: Yeah, yeah.

Minna: So… yeah, so what would Darling like that is here? What kind of stuff is here? Is it all like, food stuffs and drinks and stuff? But I guess it’s not, because there’s crystals.

Rhi: I mean, yeah. Yeah, I mean, there’s a lot of…

Minna: What if there’s like a pretty knife?

Rhi: Yeah, I was gonna say there’s a lot of luxury goods here. Yeah, they do arms dealing, there’s a lot of— cause they also have stuff here for their legit businesses, so like, there’s clothes, there’s art pieces, there’s jewelry.

Minna: I think she finds a pretty necklace that she thinks would look good on Darling.

Josie: Aww!

Rhi: Yeah.

Kim: Aww.

Rhi: So yeah, you like, you open up a box, find this necklace and are like, ‘Yeah,’ and then you kind of like, realize you’ve wandered a bit farther away from the group than you realized and you’re like, ‘Oh no, I have to hurry back.’

Minna: Mm hmm.

Rhi: So you don’t— you don’t have time to grab other stuff. Darling, meanwhile, you wanna make a roll to find some valuables?

Aki: Yeah, I think—

Rhi: Actually.

Aki: Hmm? Hmm? What? Actually?

Rhi: I’m almost thinking I might— well, here’s the thing. I did just say this is a place full of luxury goods.

Aki: Yes. Yes, you did.

Rhi: And I’m thinking about your vice.

Aki: Mm, yes.

Josie: [laughs]

Rhi: One of your vices.

Aki: Yes.

Rhi: I think the default here is that you are gonna treat this as a personal shopping trip. And Darling is just going to grab stuff that she likes and doesn’t have any interest in selling. However, you can roll resistance in order to kind of overcome that urge of giving in to your vice and get stuff that will be good for the group as a whole, that you can sell.

Aki: Yes, I would like to attempt that.

Rhi: Okay. Yeah, so um… I think it’s gonna be Resolve. That feels like the correct thing for…

Aki: And I roll however many ticks I have in the Resolve?

Rhi: In that first column.

Aki: Yeah.

Rhi: Yep, in that first column, yes. And then just take the higher.

Aki: Tonight is the night where it’s 6 or 3. And today I once again roll 6 or 3. So I guess I have to go with 6. [laughs]

Minna: [laughs]

Rhi: Okay. So, you don’t take any stress and you’re able to focus on just getting stuff for the group. Um, so I am going to make a fortune roll to see what the value is of the stuff that you get. But while I’m doing that, like, what’s going on in Darling’s head that she’s not really tempted by all of the fancy things here?

Aki: I think she definitely looks at the fancy stuff, but um, I think— but is able to look away, essentially. Cause she’s still really fucking sad.

Rhi: Yeah.

Kim: Mm.

Aki: She’s not the ‘I need to buy things to fill the hole that I feel’ type of person. She just likes having nice things a little too much, because she didn’t have a lot of things before. And now she can. But, but now it’s more like she doesn’t necessarily want the things. Because she doesn’t think she deserves the things.

Rhi and Josie: [sympathetic] Aww!

Rhi: Honey. God, that makes Arlene grabbing something for her even better.

Aki: [laughs] Yeah.

Rhi: So, I did my fortune roll and you are gonna get three coin worth of extra stuff, on top of the four coin that Benny is paying you. So, all in all a seven-coin score, which is pretty damn good.

Kim: Jeez. Yeah.

Rhi: So yeah, Darling, you’re able to grab some stuff that you know you’ll be able to sell for  a decent amount of coin. So, the liquor is secured, you’ve got your personal bonus and yeah, do you all— like, you could all just head out at this point. I don’t know if Echo wants to try to like, grab Rose before… you all leave?

Josie: Yeah, she does.

Rhi: Okay.

Josie: Um, I think she finishes loading her box into the Drake and says to Val:

Josie (as Echo): Hold on one second. I need… I need to ask Rose something.

Kim (as Val): Alright. Make it quick.

Josie: Echo hurries back into the building and tries to look for Rose.

Rhi: Yeah. Go ahead and give me a… roll of some kind.

Josie: Um… honestly, I could see Survey or Hunt?

Rhi: Yeah, I could see either of those.

Josie: What’s a Devil’s Bargain look like here? [laughs]

Rhi: Ooh… doot doot doot… um…

Minna: Rose can tell there’s something up with Echo?

Josie: Ooh!

Rhi: That’s kinda what I was thinking, yeah. Like, not— doesn’t clock exactly what you are, but is like, something is off here.

Josie: Hundred percent taking it. [laughs]

Rhi: [laughs] Alright. Yeah, so go ahead and make that roll.

Josie: [rolls] I got a 4.

Rhi: Okay. I think I’m gonna call this reduced effect and you spot her as she is like, making her exit. And so you only have time to ask, like, one thing.

Josie: Mm hmm.

Rhi: You can ask her one question.

Josie (as Echo): Um, hey, Rose?

Rhi: Rose half, like, starting to climb up a wall:

Rhi (as Rose): What?

Josie (as Echo): Who are you keeping that from?

Rhi: Uh, she scowls and says like:

Rhi (as Rose): There’s this [sighs] it was a corporate CEO that was hurting a lot of people. Gonna bring him back somehow, have him run things from the shadows, I guess? I don’t know exactly the plan, but…

Josie (as Echo): Okay.

Rhi (as Rose): Couldn’t let that happen.

Josie (as Echo): Yeah. Hull CEO sounds like a bad plan. I’ll— I’ll avoid them. Thank you.

Josie: And she’ll immediately turn and try to leave. [laughs]

Rhi: Yeah. Rose doesn’t stop you, but when you say, you know, “hull CEO”, that’s when her eyes kinda narrow. Cause she hadn’t said ‘hull’ at all. She didn’t seem to know exactly how they were going to be brining this person back. So like, her eyes narrow and she kinda tracks you across the warehouse for a little bit, and then like, shakes her head and resumes climbing.

Josie: [laughs]

Rhi: Apparently she climbed in through one of the tiny little windows at the top of the warehouse and is exiting that way.

Josie: [laughs]

Rhi: So yeah, you all get out, you get into the Drake and you can head out. This was perhaps not as quiet as would have been preferred, given that you’re leaving a pile of unconscious tied-up guards behind you, but you got your stuff and some extra. So there you go. [laughs]

Kim: Nice.

Rhi: Yay!

Kim: We did it.

Rhi: Theft!

Minna: Theft!

Josie: Hooray.

Minna: We did so good.

Rhi: You did. You got a good amount of money out of this.

Minna: And we kept pretty quiet.

Rhi: So, I will say since you grabbed— you went for the most expensive option, Benny is going to give you all a bonus of an additional coin. So you’re getting a total of eight coin.

Kim: Yay!

Rhi: Between your payment for the thing, your bonus, and then selling the stuff that Darling grabbed.

Josie: Damn.

Rhi: Alright. So, let’s get into our downtime scenes. And I think we start with, uh, Val and Darling at the garage. What’s going on there?

Kim: I think Val walks in with a bag of frozen peas on their head.

Rhi: [laughs]

Kim: And they’re scowling a bit but, you know. It is what it is. [laughs]

Aki: I’m putting shit away in our vault, I guess. We have a big-ass safe or something like that. And I’m putting it away for like— actually, you know, maybe I did sell the shit already and so it’s just like, you know, money in the floorboards or something like that.

Kim: Right.

Rhi: Yeah.

Aki: I’m putting it away and uh, Darling sees frozen pea Val and just goes:

Aki (as Darling): Oh dear, you are far too old to be getting into scraps like that.

Kim (as Val): Eh. It’s just a bruise, it’s fine.

Aki (as Darling): Remember when you got thrown out of a train? I do.

Kim (as Val): I… I try not to. I, uh, it was not my finest moment.

Aki (as Darling): My dear, we do not heal as fast as the youngers. Actually no, I heal quite well. But that is genetics.

Minna: [laughs]

Kim (as Val): Thanks, Dar. That… that means a lot.

Josie: [laughs]

Kim (as Val): Thank you for enlightening me on uh, things I don’t already know. Anyways… what have we got?

Aki (as Darling): We’ve got about three coin out of all of the stuff I’ve looted.

Kim (as Val): Three on top of the two coin each we all got?

Aki (as Darling): Two coin each? No, we each got one. This is the three additional. Technically four, due to the bonus.

Kim (as Val): Right, that’s what I’m talking about, the bonus. We, uh, it splits evenly.

Aki (as Darling): But we are not splitting it. We are saving for the future.

Kim (as Val): Oh. Alright. Well, uh, if that’s how you feel then sure. Yeah. Sounds good.

Aki (as Darling): How I f… mm. Aren’t you quite cross today. What’s going on?

Kim (as Val): Me? Nothing.  [unconvincing laugh] I’m good. I’m good. Don’t worry about it.

Aki (as Darling): I’m going to press you… Thampa…?

[laughter]

Aki (as Darling): I’m unsure of how to refer to you in a proper… gender-neutral way.

Kim: [laughs]

Kim (as Val): You can just call me by my name!

Kim: I can’t say ‘Jesus Christ’, and that frustrates me to no end.

Aki: Just make up a god, you know? ‘Oh god damn Working Lad,’ you know? Just—

Rhi: [laughs loudly]

Josie: [laughs]

Kim: I’m not going to bring Working Lad’s name in vain.

Josie: A working ass.

Aki: A hard working ass of a hard working lad.

Rhi: And boy does it work.

Josie: [laughs]

Kim (as Val): For fuck’s sake, you can just call me Val.

Aki (as Darling): Yes, but I— look, I just need to take— I’m very used to taking a specific tone when talking to people.

Kim (as Val): Uh huh?

Aki (as Darling): Anyways. What’s going on? You can bullshit the children, you cannot bullshit me.

Kim (as Val): [sighs] Alright, fair enough. I… owe a little— just a little bit of money to the Gamblers Gloom. Not a lot. Not a lot. I paid of half of it. So… [sighs] I was hoping this payout would help get my head above water again. But if it has to take another score or if I have to wait for tips at my next show, whatever it takes. It’ll get taken care of in time. It’s not a problem, really.

Aki (as Darling): How long have you had this debt?

Kim (as Val): It uh, it happened about a month ago.

Aki (as Darling): And is it a— it’s gambling, so I would assume that this is your hobby.

Kim (as Val): Yes. Yes, gambling is my hobby.

Aki (as Darling): Oh fine, you’ve taken too much damage for me to handle.

Aki: I just take out a coin and I flick it at you. [laughs]

Kim (as Val): Wha—

Aki (as Darling): Just stop making this hobby a habit.

Kim (as Val): Dar, I thought you were saving this, I can’t take this.

Kim: And they’re gonna try to like, hand it back to you.

Aki (as Darling): No, no, no. You can take it. You will take it. And uh… next time you are in debt… I am allowed to… make fun of you. Until you pay it off.

Kim (as Val): [sighs] Well, that’s dependent on two things. One, don’t get in debt again. And two, I don’t have to tell you when I’m in debt.

Aki (as Darling): Oh, I can find out.

Kim (as Val): [sighs]

Rhi: [laughs]

Aki (as Darling): And I will— technically, you’re still in debt now. So let me give you a taste of how I will make fun of you.

Kim (as Val): [deep breath] Dar, I really— I already had a headache, I don’t wanna do this right now.

Aki (as Darling): Oh, don’t worry. I’m doing the doing, technically. You just have to sit there and take it.

Kim (as Val): I don’t have to take anything! I can just go into the other room.

Aki (as Darling): Or you could take a lot. It would appear that you could take a lot.

Kim (as Val): [sighs]

Aki (as Darling): Do you see this? This is how I am making fun of you.

Kim (as Val): I, I see it very clearly.

Aki (as Darling): Can you see? Can you still see? In your age?

Kim (as Val): Oh my— this is—

Josie: [laughs]

Minna: [laughs] Aah!

Kim (as Val): [yelling] Why are you being ageist against me?

Aki (as Darling): Because you are in debt and there is one, one thing I have learned training children for many, many years, is that they don’t like it when you pick on them.

Minna: [wheezing laugh]

Kim (as Val): Well, lucky for you, I’m not a child. I’m gonna head over to the Gamblers Gloom and give them this one coin. Thank you very much.

Kim: And they’re gonna [laughs] walk away.

Aki (as Darling): You’re very welcome. Look at that penguin go.

Kim (as Val): Oh—

Aki (as Darling): Waddle, waddle, waddle.

[laughter]

Josie: Oh my God! [laughs]

Minna: [breathless laugh]

Aki: [through laughter] I’m trying to make fun of you but not dig too deep yet.

Rhi: So, everybody go ahead and add another coin to your stash. [laughs]

Josie: Sweet.

Rhi: [groans] Well, alright, I realized while you’re doing that, we hadn’t really had a scene that’s just the two of you, and I’m glad that you immediately brought the old married couple energy.

Kim: Yeah. We need more of that.

Aki: Mm hmm. Mm hmm.

Rhi: You’ve been married for 70 years.

[laughter]

Kim: Val’s not 70. [laughs]

Rhi: And neither is Darling, and yet, you have been married to each other for 70 years.

Josie: [laughs]

Rhi: Uh, so where do we find Arlene and Echo?

Minna: The children? [laughs]

Rhi: Yes, where do we find the children while the parents are arguing?

Minna: Um… I don’t know, where do you think we’d hang out?

Aki: If we were— if we were down below, you guys should be up above.

Minna: Roof again.

Aki: Yeah. Go to the roof.

Josie: [laughs]

Minna: I don’t know why all my good conversations in this system, not just this podcast, are on the roof. [laughs]

Kim: Roof good.

Josie: Because it’s dramatic.

Aki: Yeah.

Josie: This is what rooves are for.

Aki: [laughs]

Minna: Actually sorry, I just had a quick thought. What is above the garage? Like, building-wise?

Rhi: I think that the garage— so there’s the garage, which is your lair and then there’s like, a building above it, just like I have been picturing a fairly small one-story building that was kind of like the office and sort of where, when it was a working business, that’s where people would, you know, you would come into to drop off your keys or talk to the mechanics or whatever. And so, it’s just a fairly small one-story building.

Minna: If it’s kind of ruined and abandoned I almost want Arlene to be poking around making a little clubhouse up there.

Rhi: Oh yeah, okay.

Josie: Okay. So we’re in the building?

Rhi: Yeah. So we pan up from the garage to the office above it that goes largely unused. I think really the only thing up here that any of you make use of is the doorbell occasionally, when somebody from the Nightcaps stops by, which is a pretty rare occurrence. So, what are Arlene and Echo doing up here?

Minna: I mean, I think Arlene theoretically is cleaning up up here.

Josie: I think Echo is up here as, I don’t know, a consultant? Because I imagine any clubhouse involving a former assassin requires traps and obscure things to be…

Minna: [whispers] Oh my God…

Josie: Hidden places.

Minna: [delighted squeal]

Rhi: [laughs]

Josie: So Echo’s like:

Josie (as Echo): Um, yeah. I suppose I can set that alarm up by the door.

Minna (as Arlene): Yes!

Josie (as Echo): Does it need to shock everyone?

Minna (as Arlene): Can you make it not shock us?

Josie (as Echo): Yes, if we have a key.

Minna (as Arlene): Yeah, we can make a key.

Josie (as Echo): We just gotta make sure that no one wanders in here on accident. Like, kids or anything.

Minna (as Arlene): Maybe it only shocks people if they, like, try twice? I dunno.

Josie (as Echo): Maybe.

Minna (as Arlene): I don’t know, does it have to shock people? Maybe it can just keep them out. Maybe it can have a warning. I don’t know.

Josie (as Echo): Yeah. Beware of dog.

Minna (as Arlene): Sure. I think the dog is us though.

Josie (as Echo): Yeah. What do you wanna put up here anyway?

Minna (as Arlene): I don’t know. It just seemed like a cool thing to have.

Josie (as Echo): I mean, I suppose.

Minna (as Arlene): Like, you kinda have your space and, like, you and Val kind of have your space down there. I just, I don’t know, I thought it’d be cool. No one’s using it anyway.

Rhi: [laughs]

Josie (as Echo): That’s true. Just gotta be careful cause it’s kind of a front.

Minna (as Arlene): Well obviously. That’s why we don’t, like, have lights up here and stuff.

Josie (as Echo): Yeah.

Minna (as Arlene): Or if we do we cover them.

Josie (as Echo): Oh, that’d be cool. If we had a way to make things more visible up here without lots of light.

Minna (as Arlene): I mean, we could get blackout curtains or something.

Josie (as Echo): Yeah, that’s true. So… was Rose someone you knew?

Minna (as Arlene): Oh, no.

Josie (as Echo): Okay. Cause she kinda seemed in your line of work.

Minna (as Arlene): I mean, I’m not even like 100% sure she’s one of the Blood Roses. It just seemed like, likely because she had this weird knife that had roses on it, and then she was like ‘yes’ when I asked if I could call her Rose. So…

Josie (as Echo): Yeah. I mean, they’re not exactly subtle.

Minna (as Arlene): Yeah. I mean, they’d probably be kind of considered amateurs compared to like, what I was supposed to be, so.

Josie (as Echo): That’s… probably the scariest thing you’ve ever said to me?

Minna (as Arlene): I mean, they’re just kinda doing it for their own shit. And they don’t do that kind of drama and getting legends made about you if you wanna be a good assassin. The point is to be invisible.

Josie (as Echo): Right. Which after the other night definitely means I’m not cut out to be an assassin. Heh.

Minna (as Arlene): [laughs] Well, I mean, you don’t seem like you wanna be an assassin, you seem like you have like, one target? Is it just one?

Josie (as Echo): Yeah… although getting up to them will probably mean a bunch of other people.

Minna (as Arlene): That’s still more of a vigilante than an assassin.

Josie (as Echo): Huh. I guess.

Minna (as Arlene): You care about it.

Josie (as Echo): Yeah.

Minna (as Arlene): Do you, like, wanna talk about what you wanna do?

Josie (as Echo): Um. See, the reason I’m cagey about it is this person has a lot of… very well-connected. So even if I talk about it, I’m not certain me just speaking about it won’t be heard. It’s not that I think you’ll leak information, it’s that I don’t know what is safe.

Minna (as Arlene): You think you’re like, bugged or something?

Josie (as Echo): I don’t know. Maybe? Like, I check for ghosts and arcane stuff all the time here. I think we’re safe. But I don’t know. I largely got away from them out of luck and, you know, digging into my inner workings is emotionally fraught for me.

Minna (as Arlene): Mm hmm.

Josie (as Echo): So, yeah…

Minna (as Arlene): I mean, if we’re gonna help you, you’re gonna have to find a way to tell us eventually. But like, maybe there’s a way to test or to find out or to get around the possibility of bugging.

Josie (as Echo): Yeah, maybe.

Minna (as Arlene): Like, could you close your eyes and write it?

Josie (as Echo): Huh. Maybe I could? I don’t see why not. Pen and paper. I can give it a shot.

Rhi: I think there’s some up here.

Josie: Yeah.

Josie (as Echo): Okay. Let’s see.

Josie: Echo’s going to try to write with her eyes closed.

Minna: [laughs]

Rhi: Okay.

Josie: Which, I don’t know if being a hull gives her better or worse ability to do that.

Rhi: I think because you’re a very humanoid hull, I think it’s the same skill you would have had in life. So however good you think you would have been at doing that.

Josie: Eh… [laughs] I don’t think— I don’t have reason to think she’d be exceptionally skilled at that.

Minna: I mean—

Rhi: [laughs]

Minna: It’s not— it should be understandable even if it’s messy, you know?

Josie: Yeah.

Rhi: Especially if you take your time with it.

Minna: And especially if you write in cursive. [laughs]

Josie: [laughs] Uh, so… Echo’s handwriting is fairly chicken scratch. She’s used to just scribbling things on the edge of blueprints and on the margins of notes and stuff like that. So it’s a little rough reading it, I imagine.

Minna: I think as soon as its written, Arlene like, snatches it and folds it up to keep it away from [laughs] from her eyes. Echo’s eyes.

Minna (as Arlene): Just in case.

Josie: But she tries writing out,

Josie (as Echo via writing): This person knows who I care about.

Minna (as Arlene): You mean like somebody from before?

Josie (as Echo): Yeah.

Josie: And she just says the ‘yeah’ out loud, but then scribbles down:

Josie (as Echo via writing): If we don’t do it exactly right, they’ll hurt them.

Minna (as Arlene): Do they have them?

Josie (as Echo via writing): No, but they know who and where they are.

Minna (as Arlene): Oh. So I’m guessing you’re not in like, contact anymore.

Josie (as Echo via writing): No, not really. I can’t risk bringing her down on them too early.

Minna (as Arlene): Oh. Can you tell me who?

Josie (as Echo): Um…

Josie (as Echo via writing): My family and my girlfriend.

Minna: [laughs] Sorry, Minna had to take a minute to sob to herself.

Josie: [laughs]

Minna (as Arlene): I am so sorry, Echo. I didn’t know.

Josie (as Echo): I mean, that was the idea. And it’s not like I like talking about it.

Minna (as Arlene): So, this person… we gotta be really careful about this. Really smart.

Josie (as Echo): Yeah, they’re the sort of person where if it was just getting to them and killing them, that would be difficult, but I wouldn’t be as worried about it.

Minna (as Arlene): It’s taking down… everything they have.

Josie (as Echo): Yeah. Yeah. We need to take down everything they have and then once we kill her, make sure nothing happens then either. Because I have no doubt she has, like dead man’s switch plans and stuff and ideas for what to do as a ghost and I don’t trust that the Spirit Wardens will be able to get rid of her. So, kinda need to completely dismantle her first before we do it. And then get rid of her ghost.

Minna (as Arlene): Yeah. That’s a challenge.

Minna: Out of character, we don’t know her name yet, do we?

Josie: Nope.

Rhi: No. Echo specifically— or, yeah, Echo’s not revealed.

Josie: Yeah. In fact, Echo seems to be saying the pronouns on accident.

Minna: Yeah. So I think Arlene’s at least gonna ask.

Minna (as Arlene): Are you comfortable telling me the name of this powerful person?

Josie (as Echo): Not yet.

Minna (as Arlene): Okay. If you have any plans you need help with, let me know.

Josie (as Echo): Yeah. I’m trying to figure something out before I drop the whole deal on all of you. But it means a lot that you’re willing to help.

Minna (as Arlene): Yeah. I mean, were a group now, right?

Josie (as Echo): Yeah. I know, I was just expecting to have a harder time finding people as a hull, but…

Minna (as Arlene): [laughs] I guess we’re all kind of, uh, misfits?

Josie (as Echo): Yeah. And that’s saying something when you’re misfits from an assassin’s guild.

Minna (as Arlene): [laughs] Well, I mean, we left it, so… uh, do you, like, do you want a hug or something? This seems like, pretty challenging.

Josie (as Echo): Um. Sure. If you’re okay with that.

Minna (as Arlene): Yeah. I like hugs.

Josie: Yay, hugs happen.

Minna: [laughs]

Rhi: Yeah! I feel like that’s a, yeah, we can end on Arlene stepping over and giving Echo a hug.

Josie: Yay.

Rhi: I’m happy that Echo is getting lots of hugs.

Kim: Yeah.

Josie: [laughs]

Minna: Arlene purposely did not say they were a family because Echo has a family and Arlene does not know what the fuck a family is.

Rhi: Yeah…

Minna: [laughs]

Rhi: Aww.

Josie: [laughs]

Aki: It’s okay, neither does Darling. Like, Jesus Christ.

Minna: I know!

Josie: [laughs]

Minna: That’s what I’m saying.

Rhi: We’ll figure it out!

Minna: Eventually they’ll use the word, maybe.

Rhi: Yeah, you’ll get there. Yeah, so I think from there we go to Darling’s house, I would assume.

Aki: Yes.

Rhi: And I think Arlene— does Arlene knock, or does Arlene just let herself in?

Minna: Does Arlene have a key, is she allowed to do this at any hour?

Aki: I think you have a key.

Minna: Is this like the, your parent— you have a key to your parents’ house and you’re allowed to come whenever?

Aki: Yeah. Like, I don’t why— Darling would not kick you out and…

Minna: [laughs]

Aki: To be fair, it’s— it would be quite easy to tell, like, what’s a breaking and entering.

Minna: [laughs]

Aki: So key, she knows it’s just you.

Minna: Yeah. So I think she unlocks the door and she like, calls out as she enters:

Minna (as Arlene): Darling!

Aki (as Darling): Oh, is that you?

Minna (as Arlene): Yeah.

Aki (as Darling): That would be you.

Minna (as Arlene): [laughs] You don’t recognize my voice?

Aki (as Darling): No, I do, I do. Come in and kick off your shoes and close the door and lock it.

Aki: And you will notice there’s like three locks now. [laughs]

Minna: I think she pokes like, the third lock, like:

Minna (as Arlene): You’re uh, souping up security again?

Aki (as Darling): Ah, just in case. And I feel better sleeping and all that.

Minna (as Arlene): Mm hmm. Oh, speaking of feeling better sleeping with locks on the door…

Minna: She pulls from behind her back— she’s had her hand behind her back this entire time. [laughs] Even as she, like, toes off her shoes.

Minna (as Arlene): I found you something that I thought you might like.

Aki (as Darling): Oh? What’s this?

Aki: Darling was probably cooking or something. Darling was somewhere doing traditional mom stuff, slash just trying to live.

Minna: [laughs]

Aki: [laughs] So…

Rhi: [laughs]

Aki: Your basic living skills. And will come over and be like:

Aki (as Darling): What? [sing-song] What is it? It’s not a knife, is it?

Minna: What is Darling’s favorite color?

Aki: I think Darling likes green.

Minna: So, I think it’s some kind of like, green gem in a necklace.

Aki (as Darling): Oh. Where— when did you get that? You’re not spending your money on me, I hope.

Minna (as Arlene): Oh no. I spent my wits on this.

Aki (as Darling): Wha— wh— well, thank you.

Aki: [laughs]

Aki (as Darling): I… don’t get things often. I hope this doesn’t come as disingenuous. I’m not sure… how to… hmm. Thank you. I like it a lot.

Minna: [laughs]

Minna (as Arlene): If you don’t like it, you don’t have to be nice about it.

Aki (as Darling): No, I like— no, I like it. It’s— you have… you have caught me—

Minna (as Arlene): You’re also allowed to just hug me. [laughs]

Aki (as Darling): Yes, I will do that instead— you can— you get the big, big hug.

Minna: She’ll give you a good hug in return.

Aki (as Darling): It’s beautiful, really.

Minna (as Arlene): I’m glad you like it.

Aki (as Darling): It was a very good surprise. Look at that, you have me changing my accent and everything.

[laughter]

Josie: I really like the idea that Darling’s accent is an affected thing for a disguise that just stuck around. [laughs]

Aki: It might have been.

Josie: [laughs]

Aki: You don’t know how badly conditioned— I know how conditioned. But, you know, shit happens. She just goes:

Aki (as Darling): Oh. It’s very nice. I love it. Truly. I was just… I usually get me things. Or Pearl brings me things. But Pearl… Pearl is a nasty thief, that little one.

Minna (as Arlene): I mean, so am I. [laughs]

Aki (as Darling): All of my nasty little thieves!

Aki: Now you’re getting a mom hug and your face is getting smooched. And it’s— and matte doesn’t exist yet, so now you’re got, like, lipstick marks on your face.

Minna: Uh huh.

Rhi: [laughs]

Minna: I think she squirms a little like:

Minna (as Arlene): Darling… I’m gonna have to wash that off.

Aki (as Darling): Well, that’s not so bad. Washing your face is refreshing. And now you have little bits of rouge. Oh, you look so sweet.

Minna (as Arlene): [whines]

Aki (as Darling): Like when you used to get into my makeup, very sweet. Oh no! Memories!

Minna: [laughs]

Minna (as Arlene): I recall that you weren’t as charmed by me getting into your makeup back then.

Aki (as Darling): I was very charmed by it, but at the same time, you made a rather big of a mess.

Minna (as Arlene): I did.

Aki (as Darling): Mm.

Minna (as Arlene): That is a thing that happened.

Aki (as Darling): It wasn’t makeup. It was like paint. On your face. And on my clothes. And on my good things and on my walls. You drew on my walls with the lipstick. But this is fine. We don’t live there anymore. [laughs]

Minna (as Arlene): I walked into that.

Aki (as Darling): Did you want to stay for dinner?

Minna (as Arlene): Yes.

Aki (as Darling): Good. I went and picked things up this time. We are trying this Iruvian thing.

Minna (as Arlene): Oh?

Aki (as Darling): Yes. I’m quite unsure what it is. I just picked it up, to be 100% honest. I decided to live like you, for like, a little bit.

Minna (as Arlene): I’m proud of you.

Aki (as Darling): Now you also have to convince me, just because I’m worried of the meat being poisoned.

Minna (as Arlene): What? [laughs] You’re worried about the meat being poisoned?

Aki (as Darling): Anything can be poisoned if you don’t know what it is. It’s why we didn’t go after the moonshine thing. Weird cult stuff.

Minna (as Arlene): I know. Well, I don’t know how to reassure you about the meat, but I’m sure it’s fine.

Aki (as Darling): Ah, well—

Minna (as Arlene): I’m sure random street food vendor number 100 is not out to get you.

Aki (as Darling): It would be a very delightful way to go, I feel.

Minna (as Arlene): Yeah.

Rhi: Yeah, and I think, yeah, from there we’ll just leave you two on this nice, slightly morbid, domestic dinner scene.

Minna: [laughs]

Rhi: [laughs] And that’ll be the end of the episode.

## Outro [00.49.47]

Thanks for joining us! The Whisky Jays will return in two weeks. The City That Never Dies is a Clever Corvids production. Visit our website at CleverCorvids.net and follow us on Twitter @clever_corvids for the latest on this and other shows.

 

The City That Never Dies is GM’d and edited by Rhi. Check out her business Skill Check for copyediting and accessibility consulting for the RPG community at RPGSkillCheck.net.

 

Arlene Graeme is played by Minna Reilly. Find her on Twitter @mynaminnarr.

 

Darling Tsering is played by Aki. Find her on Twitter @akinomii_art for more TTRPG Content.

 

Echo is played by Josie. Find her on Twitter @dragongirljosie, and check out her art at josie-art.com.

 

Valerie Sullivan is played by Kim. Find her on Twitter @kimdianajones.

 

Our opening and closing theme music is from Something by Kai Engel and is used under a Creative Commons license. Blades in the Dark is the creation of John Harper and is published by Evil Hat Productions.

 

Rhi: If you’d like to dedicate a personal message to a friend, family member, gaming group, or other special Clever Corvids fan in your life, you can do so right here! Visit clevercorvids.net and click on Jumbotron Messages under the Support Us menu to buy your very own message. As always, thanks to all our Patreon backers, whose ongoing support makes this show possible.

 

## Blooper [00.51.40]

Josie: I’m just saying sync with no variations this time, because I don’t want to jinx anyone’s recording.

Minna and Rhi: [laughs]

Rhi: Appreciate it.

Minna: Imagine if you just said jinx every time.

Josie: [laughs]

Rhi: [laughs] Maybe that would undo the Audacity curse. Alright.