Transcribed by Raina Harper.
## Intro
Rhi: Welcome back to Imperial City. As always, thank you so much for joining us. If you’re enjoying the show, please consider leaving us a review! Reviews help new people find the show and make us feel all warm and fuzzy. You can also tell other people about us on social media, buy some of our merch, sponsor an episode, buy a jumbotron message, or back us on Patreon. Our Patrons get behind the scenes art process posts, short stories, and the results of extremely scientific polls examining each character’s Untitled Goose Game playstyle. Check out the links in the show notes to learn more!
Next, Kris of Love and Hellfire is going to tell us about this month’s featured charity.
Kris: Hi everyone, it’s Kris. I’m here to tell you about this month’s featured charity: Toronto Indigenous Harm Reduction. Look, the Canadian government has a monstrous relationship with the Indigenous peoples of this land. The government has killed, displaced, and disenfranchised First Nations, Metis, and Inuit people at every turn, and the country’s Covid-19 response was no exception.
Toronto Indigenous Harm Reduction was founded in 2020 in response to city-wide shut downs of frontline services and a general lack of resources for Indigenous unhoused people in the city. TIHR provides basic needs, access to critical health support and Covid-19 testing, harm reduction supplies, traditional medicines and food, arts, and ceremony to some of the most vulnerable among the city of Toronto’s population.
You can help support them, and learn more about their mission to reduce harm and spread awareness about Indigenous arts and culture by visiting torontoindigenoushr.com. Thanks y’all.
Rhi: Today’s episode is sponsored by A Knight of Shreds and Patches podcast. A Knight of Shreds and Patches is an immersive Actual Play Podcast following the adventures of the Patina, a small mercenary company trying to make ends meet in a world set long after the society of today falls, where environments are green and communities and cities come together to support each other, leveraging what wild tech is left to be salvaged. Bullets are scarce and swords are common, which makes wild tech like the titular Knight, a large-scale combat mech, an uncommon and enviable sight in the wilderness. Join the Patina as they face bandit ambushes, mechanical threats from the ancient past, and the interpersonal stresses from traveling and fighting together.
I was lucky enough to be a guest star on A Knight of Shreds and Patches, and the team is telling an amazing story of adventure, hope, and found family. You can listen to the show on your favorite podcast apps or at akosap.com, and follow them on Twitter at AKoSaP_Podcast.
Please continue to look for opportunities to support, protect, and uplift your local communities, especially the most vulnerable and marginalized. Countless people are already doing the work of fighting for a better world: find those people and lend them whatever support you’re able.
Now then. Let’s get started, shall we?
## Story Continues [00:03:37]
Rhi: For the last week or so, your neighborhood of Kirin Cove has been abuzz with activity. One of the main streets near the garage has been shut down to traffic and various tents and stalls have been set up, lights have been strung from poles, and with each passing day there’s just more and more temporary structures being set up. For Val, who has lived in the area for quite a while, this is something that they’re quite familiar with. They’ve probably seen this happen since it began.
Kim: Mm-hmm.
Rhi: For Echo, she might not have seen this particular event but is sort of familiar with this concept. But for Darling and Arlene, I think the two of you are both new enough to the city that you might not be really familiar with what is going on here. Eventually, after about a week of this, you all arrive at the garage to the sound of a crowd on the street. There’s a lot of lights. You can smell food drifting over to you on the air. You can hear music, live music being played somewhere nearby.
Aki: I think with all this hustle and bustle Darling’s been, um… well that and Darling’s current emotional state, ha-ha, has been on unnecessarily high alert. You know how animals emote with their tails and stuff?
Kim: Mm-hmm.
Josie: Uh-huh?
Aki: Darling’s tail, while thick and nubby, has been very swingy as of late.
Josie: Aw, I love tails.
Aki: Because everything is, um… She’s used to big events and stuff like that, like she’s aware cities can have holidays and stuff, she’s just never seen the process of one. So, every time she looks out the window she’s like:
Aki (as Darling): Is that an angry mob? Who… Who are we mad at?
[laughter]
Rhi: So Val, what you would know is that this is the Kirin Cove Neighborhood Festival. It’s been running for about 12 years, and it’s basically a bunch of the unions in Ironworks using it as a way to raise funds.
Kim: Oh, okay.
Rhi: Usually for the strike funds. It started off as a small thing where they set up a parking lot where they sold food, and now it’s just this big all-day festival where they have a lot of other people from the neighborhood coming in and doing stuff, but it is still a union event. Anything where you’re buying stuff from the union, the proceeds are going to the strike funds, and you know, anybody else who’s setting up there… some portion of their proceeds is also going into the fund.
Kim (as Val): Oh, it’s just the Kestrel heights Festival.
Josie (as Echo): Is that the union party?
Kim (as Val): You got it.
Josie (as Echo): I’ve never been to one of those before.
Aki (as Darling): Unions have parties?
Kim (as Val): Well…
Aki: Darling does the “raising the roof” gesture for party.
[laughter]
Kim (as Val): In my experience, sometimes the parties are more like protests, but no, this one’s an actual party.
Josie (as Echo): What do you do there?
Kim (as Val): Well, there’s food stalls and carnival games and music… you know, festival stuff.
Josie (as Echo): Can we go play carnival games?
Kim (as Val): Do you want to cheat at some carnival games, doll?
Minna (as Arlene): Let’s go ‘play’ carnival games. We don’t have to cheat.
Kim (as Val): Yeah, but where’s the fun in that?
Josie (as Echo): I want to play them legit once so that I learn how they work. Then I can mess with them.
Kim (as Val): Alright. Sounds like a plan. Let’s head over to the gallery.
Kim: They’re gonna grab their coat as they head for the door.
Aki (as Darling): Do we have to dress up?
Kim (as Val): Nah.
Aki (as Darling): Okay. So we can just walk around and there’s no, like… “rules?”
Kim (as Val): Well, I mean, don’t set anything on fire, obviously. Don’t shoot anyone. Don’t steal anything, preferably. But yeah, no, that’s kind of it.
Josie (as Echo): For us, those are good rules to specify.
[giggling]
Kim (as Val): I figured.
Aki (as Darling): Okay… I better bring a leash for Pearl, then. I don’t think the working lads would appreciate a very large baby.
Kim: Does Pearl have a vest?
Aki: Yes. Now she does.
Kim: Okay.
[laughter]
Aki: I love the idea. We’ve upgraded. Occasionally we’ve got a fancy collar on, but now we just got a really fancy vest. One of those vests that have pockets.
Kim: Oh my gosh. Yes. Like a harness kind of…
Aki: Mm-hmm! Yeah, yeah.
Josie: But really big.
Kim: So big.
Aki: Mommy puts her tiny guns in there.
Minna: [cackles] Sorry, I don’t know why that one got me.
Rhi: God… really good. Just Pearl trotting around with a couple Derringers in her little vest.
Aki: It’s those lady pistols, you know? For the purses.
Rhi: Yeah… yeah. On that note, you head down the street to the festival. Yeah, as Val said, it’s not a dress-up event. The street’s already fairly crowded with people from the neighborhood. A lot of kids are running around. All of the food is coming from Hedwig’s parking lot. She’s moved the cars out of the way, and there’s just a ton of grills and little food stalls set up in there. There’s signs out front for the various unions that are sponsoring that.
You can see, as you’re looking one direction down the street, there are booths with what looks like some artisans, people who are doing painting or different types of pottery or crafting that are selling their wares. Echo, you spot very quickly, it looks like there’s a handful of booths clustered together where there’s maybe some kind of mini engineering festival happening, like a spark-craft festival.
Kim: Ooh.
Rhi: There’s a bunch of carnival games happening. Somebody’s doing face painting. There’s a big stage with a band performing and there’s a space cleared in front of it where people are dancing. There’s a tent off to the side. Most of the tents are pretty open so people can wander through, but there’s one that’s very closed with darker fabric that is advertising tarot card readings.
There is what is advertising itself as a “test your strength” game. It’s unclear exactly how your strength is being tested as it seems to mostly just be inviting people to hit scrap metal with big hammers.
Josie: [laughs]
Rhi: And then finally, at the far end of the street, basically the opposite end from where the food is, there’s a large pen where kids can go on Akorosian goat rides, the big horse-sized goats. They can just kind of ride on a goat in a little circle around the pen.
Yeah, it’s a very big celebratory… As soon as you hit the street, there’s just this very high-energy atmosphere. There’s a lot of people walking around and talking and laughing with people at various stalls calling out to draw people who are walking around in. Yeah, you’ve got a lot of options before you, so what do you want to hit up first?
Josie: Echo sees the little engineering spark-craft booths and she immediately zeroes in, like “target acquired,” and immediately goes for them.
Rhi: [laughs] There’s just an Echo-shaped poof of dust left behind.
Aki: There is milk bottle shooting, and there’s no other way than to completely crush everyone here than to be an experienced marksman, and kind of reveal that to the audience.
[laughter]
Rhi: Listen. There’s a reason I put that specific game in here. I went through a lengthy list of carnival games and I picked the ones that I did on purpose. I put Skee-Ball on the list because I love Skee-Ball.
Kim: I am also partial to Skee-Ball.
Minna: [laughs] I also love Skee-Ball, but I love that “that” was your reasoning.
Rhi: Yeah. Some of—
Aki: Oh gosh, yeah. No, I will say, all of these require aim…
Rhi: Yeah!
Aki: …so I’m about to win everybody a bunch of toys.
Rhi: The ring toss and milk bottle shooting I put on there because I was like okay, Darling can just flex on everybody. Skee-Ball I put on there because I love Skee-Ball. Okay, so Echo has made for the spark-craft booths. Darling is heading for the carnival games. How about Arlene and Val? Anything grabbing your attention or are you following either of the others?
Minna: I feel like Arlene’s first stop is the face painting booth.
Rhi: Okay. I think the face painting booth is close to the carnival games, so you’ll be able to watch…
Minna: Yes!
Rhi: …while you’re getting your face painted as Darling is destroying people at these games. Val, where are you headed?
Kim: I’m headed over to Skee-Ball.
Rhi: Alright. [laughs] Let’s start with Echo. There are big spark-craft festivals elsewhere in the city, usually associated with some of the colleges. This is not that. This is probably five little stalls of local folks that are just kind of showing off some of their inventions or stuff that they’ve put together. Tell me about something that catches Echo’s eye. What’s something that Echo sees that draws her in?
Josie: I think maybe it might be an automatic piano or something.
Aki: Ooh.
Rhi: Oh cool!
Josie: Yeah. Or like, an automatic harpsicord. That’s a very carnival thing to have, huh?
Rhi: Yeah. I like automatic piano. So yeah, there’s a pleased-looking young woman in a nicely-tailored… it’s a nicely-tailored but a little shabby suit standing next to it who smiles at you really big as you come over.
Rhi (as woman): Impressive, isn’t it?
Josie (as Echo): Yeah, especially since… I don’t know, does it run on ectoplasm?
Rhi (as woman): Yes. There’s a battery under here. Here—
Rhi: She crouches down and gestures for you to look.
Rhi (as woman): So, the battery is under here.
Rhi: And you know, starts explaining how the wires are connected.
Rhi (as woman): Basically, the core premise is based on a standard music box design. I just had to build it out from being something that’s purely mechanical to something that can run on electric power.
Josie (as Echo): Hmm. Although, you might be able to make it run on a crank, or add a crank, because if it’s running on ectoplasm, just have a ghost play the piano.
Josie: [chuckling] This is Echo’s thought process.
Rhi: [laughs]
Rhi (as woman): Yeah, people tend to get pretty squirrely about buying a possessed piano.
Josie (as Echo): Well, the ghost doesn’t need to be included, but I suppose you have included it, so that’s fine. Can I take a look underneath?
Rhi (as woman): Uh… sure, just don’t touch anything. It’s all pretty delicate.
Josie: Echo needs to very much restrain herself from touching anything.
Rhi: Yeah!
[laughter]
Josie (as Echo): But, if it’s an electric crank, you could get a lot more mileage out of a lot less ectoplasm, and that means less ghosts used. But then, if it winds down, it’ll slow down, and that will be inconsistent. But if you can get a whole night’s performance out of it… We’re gonna need a bigger wheel.
Rhi (as woman): See, that was my problem. I don’t want to have any of the machinery visible outside of the piano casing.
Josie (as Echo): Ah.
Rhi (as woman): I just want it to be the piano, by itself, playing itself. I had to, you know… I have to consider the appearance as well.
Josie (as Echo): It’s very impressive that you did that. Maybe there’s a fancy thing to put on top?
Rhi (as woman): I thought about that. It just messes with the line of the thing, you know? For a while I thought about doing the thing where you prop open the lid, but it still just reveals too much of the inner workings of the thing, you know? This I think is the way to make it the most marketable.
Josie (as Echo): Hmm, I understand.
Rhi (as woman): But, I see your point. The battery in here, it’s… Honestly, that’s kind of the most difficult part, because getting batteries of this size is expensive.
Josie (as Echo): Yeah, I can understand that. Hmm. Perhaps we can set a timer so it is not constantly running?
Rhi (as woman): Oh! No, there is a—Here.
Rhi: She helps you out from under the piano and walks you around.
Rhi (as woman): So, there is this switch here where I can turn it, you can toggle it on and off. Obviously I wouldn’t want to be draining the battery constantly.
Rhi: I think that… [laughs] Echo and your new friend, who eventually, 20 minutes into the conversation, remembers to introduce herself as Isolde…
Josie: Isolde.
Rhi: …are just happily chattering away about ideas for this piano. I think at some point she mentions that she’s been trying to also figure out, yeah, an automatically-playing harp and how to make that work which is even harder because there’s even less room to hide the machinery in a harp. I think that’s the point where the blueprints come out.
Josie: Uh-huh. [laughs] I think at one point, for the harp thing, Echo starts rummaging around in her coat and pulls out some of her gadgets, and one’s like a wrist-mounted jagged piston that must be some sort of automatic lock pick.
Josie (as Echo): Pretend you didn’t see this one, but also copy this design because I think you can get some finesse out of this.
Rhi (as Isolde): Okay…
[laughter]
Rhi: So, we’ll leave the two of them just happily chattering away, and we’re gonna go over to Arlene. Arlene, you have to wait in line for a little bit. There’s a few other people waiting for face painting. Most of them are kids much younger than you, but there are also a few other teens and young adults, more around your age, that are waiting for face painting. You finally get up. I think there’s like probably three or four people that are doing face painting in this little area. You finally get up to an open space.
It’s an older person. Their hair is done up in some intricate braids. I think they have sort of a, like… Clearly all of the face painter artists here did each other’s face painting at the start of the day.
Minna: [delighted hum]
Rhi: They’ve got some cool blue and green feather patterns around their eyes.
Rhi (as painter): Alright. What can I do for you?
Minna: I had a thought, and then I just had another thought right this second.
Rhi: Yes.
Minna (as Arlene): Can you do, like, tiger stripes?
Kim: Aww.
Josie: [gasps] Oh no~
Rhi (as painter): Ooh, yes, absolutely.
Rhi: Yeah, so they will start doing…
Minna: Maybe instead of orange, some fun bright color.
Rhi: We’re gonna get some Lisa Frank tiger stripes on here.
[laughter]
Minna: Yes! I feel like that’s the exact Arlene vibe to be honest.
Rhi: Yes. So, some really, really bright colorful tiger stripes for Arlene.
Minna: Like bright fuchsia and teal.
Rhi: Yes. So Arlene, while this is happening, you’re watching past this person’s shoulder as you see Darling and Val make their way to the carnival games. Let’s start with Darling.
Aki: Hello.
Rhi: You approach the milk bottle shooting.
Aki: I do, yes, and I look at it. I think how it catches Darling’s attention is that she hears a gunshot and then looks around, like “oh… oh, it’s a good thing I brought my tiny guns…”
Rhi: [laughs]
Aki: …and then notices it’s just milk bottles. “Oh, never mind, it’s a game. No danger.” Puts the tiny guns away. [giggles]
Rhi: Yeah, tucks them back into Pearl’s vest.
Aki: Yes. No one saw anything. What do you mean? Just, zip…
Rhi: As you head over, I don’t think there’s too much of a line here. What giant stuffed animal catches your eye that you are suddenly deeply determined to win?
Aki: Elephant.
Rhi: Elephant. Okay.
Kim: Do we have elephants?
Rhi: We do now.
Kim: Okay.
Aki: Yup.
Kim: I dig it.
Aki: They are shadows… marsh elephants, living in the swamplands.
Rhi: Giant… yeah. Yeah! They hang out in the Dagger Isles, probably.
Aki: Yeah.
Rhi: Or Severos? Probably actually Severos. They’d be in Severos.
Aki: Yeah. They know exactly where to walk so they don’t just sink right through. You know? They don’t gotta worry about quicksand or anything of the like because they’re so just in-tune, you know, and that’s how we get roads. I don’t know.
Rhi: I actually like that a lot.
Kim: Oh, lore?
Rhi: The people in Severos can just follow the elephant paths.
Aki: Exactly. Big brain.
Josie: Yay.
Rhi: I like this.
Kim: Lore!
Rhi: Alright! So, there’s a giant stuffed elephant available to win here. So yeah, you walk up and the purveyor will tell you that… will explain the rules and how the points work and etcetera. Basically, the way this is gonna work mechanically is that there’s a clock and you’ll need to make—you’ll get three Hunt rolls to see if you can fill up the clock to win the giant elephant. I think it’s gonna be… We’re gonna say it’s a 5-tick clock.
Aki: Mm-hmm.
Rhi: So go ahead and roll Hunt. There’s no position, no effect, just make a roll. We’ll basically do this the same as if you were filling a long-term project clock in downtime. So, if you get a 1 to a 3, you fill one tick, a 4 or 5 fills two, a 6 will fill three, and a critical will fill the whole thing.
Aki: Nice, nice, nice.
Rhi: So, knowing Aki, she’s gonna fill this on the first try.
Aki: Hehehe.
Josie: Yeah, I’m waiting for the “do you want a picture.”
Rhi: Yeah. Go ahead and roll—
Aki: [giggles]
Kim: Oh boy…
Josie: Say the line, Aki.
Aki: [sweetly, but also like a gremlin] Do you want a picture? You want a picture?
Rhi: Did you actually get a fucking critical?
Aki: Well, I got a 6 and a 5, so it’s very close.
Rhi: Okay. Jesus. So you got a 6.
Aki: [laughs]
Rhi: So, that’s 3, 3 of your 5. I should have made this a bigger clock.
Aki: What do I… I just, bam! Shatter a bottle.
Rhi: And then… yeah. Go ahead and roll again. You get three rolls. You’re not gonna need them, clearly.
Aki: I have a 5 this time.
Rhi: A 5? Okay. Well, that does it. That’s get you 2, so that fills it in. The kind of skill that has the proprietor of this stall looking a little worried as he hands over your giant stuffed elephant. [laughs]
Aki: What kind of gun? Because I think it would be hilarious if they gave me a revolver and I just smack it once.
[laughter]
Minna: Like you’re in a western.
Aki: Yeah, like I’m in a western.
Rhi: God!
Aki: “Ooh, I haven’t held one of these in a while.” Smack! Bam! “Okay, give me my elephant.”
Rhi: yeah, yeah… yep. Yeah, that’s what it is. [stammers] It’s made to look like a revolver, but it’s a cheap BB gun. They’re not firing actual bullets, this is a carnival game, for children!
Aki: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Of course, of course, of course. I know what it means to be a normal regular child, as a former child…
[laughter]
Rhi: As someone who was once a child myself…
Josie: I had 18 years of experience as a child, in fact.
Aki: Yes, I have so much experience with the… I went to school!
Rhi: This guy just hands you the giant elephant.
Kim: “Ma’am… you can have it. You can have the elephant.”
Aki (as Darling): Thank you. This is a nice big one.
Aki: We get like a piece of rope and we tie it around. Now I have the elephant for a backpack.
Kim: Backpack elephant.
Rhi: Yep. I was just gonna say, please tell me that this is now riding Pearl.
Aki: It could. It could. Though, I’m worried about it. If it’s a giant elephant, and Pearl is also a giant tiger… not the grocery store, just a big tiger. [chuckles] Would tying it to Pearl hinder her? Is the trunk gonna be like “oh, look at that, a blind side.” You know?
Rhi: No. It’s not that big.
Aki: Okay, cool. Then yeah, we’ll put it on Pearl, and now Pearl is in a vest with an elephant plushie, a big one.
Kim: I think the hard thing is just gonna be convincing Pearl that the toy is not for her.
Rhi: What do you mean it’s not? Who is it for?
Aki: [giggles]
Kim: Oh… Okay.
Rhi: Yeah. I mean yeah, Darling, who is this for?
Aki: Well, basically, my intentions with today was to go to every single carnival game and win a prize and then divvy it up afterwards.
Rhi: Excellent. Good.
Aki: Yeah, that was the intention.
Rhi: Good, good, good.
Aki: So Pearl does count as a part of whom I may divvy it up to. Another thing that I am okay with doing is going to a carnival game—and you know when it’s, like, you can win those tiny ones and the idea is you keep playing until you trade it up for a big one?
Kim: Yes.
Aki: I just wanna win a handful of those mini ones.
Rhi: Gotcha.
Aki: They’re like, you wanna trade, and I’m like “no, give me another dog.” [laughs] I don’t know. “Give me the tiny monkey! I want seven of them.” Just a bunch of smaller toys. Eventually I trade them up for bigger ones, but the idea is I want to be one of those people that walk around the fair and they have a whole bag full of toys that they won and they’re just walking around with a giant plastic bag.
Rhi: Yes.
Kim: We have so many monkeys.
Aki: Yeah, but we also have so many NPCs.
Kim: OH, that’s also true.
Rhi: [laughs]
Aki: Yeah. The idea is, Darling’s just gonna keep winning them and my goal is to make sure that everybody in this party has one, not including her, because whatever is Pearl’s will be in her house. Right?
Kim: Right.
Aki: And then whatever’s left over I can give to Trix and a bunch of the prostitutes that I visit frequently. They just get a bunch of stuffed monkeys one day. Right? That’s so cute. Bailey can get one too. Why the fuck not?
Rhi: Yes.
Aki: Just the idea. I’ll accumulate a whole bunch of them. I can send a bird to my rival. Who is it? Keeter!
Rhi: Yes. This is very good.
Aki: That’s it. That’s the idea. I want to have a whole bunch of these, because Darling doesn’t know when to stop.
Rhi: I love this.
Kim: Oh my God.
Rhi: So, as Darling is securing the giant elephant to Pearl, we pan over to Val who is at the Skee-Ball setup.
Kim: Yeah.
Rhi: Val, is there anything in particular here you’re trying to win or is this just about love of the game?
Kim: It’s just for the passion for the sport.
Rhi: We understand each other.
[laughter]
Kim: I would sure hope so.
Rhi: It was never about the prizes. It was never about the prizes! It was just about the game!
Kim: It’s about the integrity. It’s about coming out here and doing your best and just… you know, just put on a really good game of Skee.
Rhi: [cackles] There was an arcade in the mall that I used to go to as a teenager, and they had Skee-Ball, and I MISS IT!
Kim: Aww.
Rhi: Anyway. You can win a prize, so I am gonna give you basically the same setup. You’ve got a 5-tick clock to win a prize, but you haven’t really paid attention to the prizes, so you do not know what they are. It’s a mystery prize.
Kim: I have some ideas though.
Rhi: Oh yeah, yeah, I’m open to hearing ideas. But yeah, what skill do you wanna roll for this?
Kim: This feels like a Finesse roll.
Rhi: I would agree.
Kim: So just a standard… just go for it?
Rhi: Mm-hmm. Yeah. Basically, these are all fortune rolls, essentially, is what we’re doing here today.
Kim: Okay, that’s a 3 and a 6.
Rhi: Okay. That will get you 3 ticks.
Kim: Out of… how many are on the clock? I’m sorry.
Rhi: Five. Five are on the clock. Yeah.
Kim: So, on a 6, I think… Oh my gosh. I’m trying to picture it. Yeah, it’s just one after the other, whoosh-whoosh-whoosh, right into the 100 hole. They’re just crushing it.
Rhi: Yes. Alright, give me another roll.
Kim: Alrighty. Ugh, that’s a 3, unfortunately.
Rhi: Alright. I think some kid comes up and is staring at you.
Kim: Oh my God. I fucking hate that.
Josie: [grinning] Is it the same kid?
Kim: Oh my God! That one kid. Yes.
Josie: From the train.
Rhi: That one kid. I think it is that one kid from the train.
Kim: Oh no.
Rhi: Yeah. There is one annoying child that plagues the Whisky Jays and it is this kid. Ugh… yeah. Just standing there, staring at Val, making Val feel self-conscious, so you don’t do as well, but you’ve got one more roll.
Kim: Oh, I’m still in it?
Rhi: Yeah. You get three rolls.
Kim: Let’s see if I can pull a comeback. … I cannot. I rolled a 2. My highest was a 2.
Rhi: Well, fortunately, you only had 1 more tick to fill in on the clock.
Kim: Oh! Splendid.
Rhi: So, even though this child’s unblinking stare unnerves you, your early performance was strong enough that you still get enough points to win the big prize at the Skee-Ball booth. What was your idea for what it is?
Kim: Oh. If I won big… Oh my God, is it—
Josie: Gigantic worm on a string.
Kim: Don’t tempt me. Do not.
Josie: [laughs] I did it already.
Kim: What if it’s actually something that’s fairly legit? Because you know how in arcades at the prize table, way high up there will be something like a Bluetooth speaker or a skateboard or something? Actually, can I just put a skateboard? [laughs]
Rhi: No.
Kim: Why not?
Rhi: Skateboards haven’t been invented yet. It’s the 1920s.
Kim: No~! But I wanna shred.
Rhi: No!
Aki: No-no-no, let Echo invent it, because it’s literally just a piece of wood with wheels. Oh my God. Echo could make so much fucking money.
Josie: A rocket board…
Kim: Wait. Rollerblades have been invented yet, surely, right?
Rhi: Roller skates, definitely.
Kim: Okay. I win a pair of roller skates. Val will not use them and will give them to Echo.
Minna: [laughs] I really wanna see Echo on roller skates.
Josie: Aww. I do too.
Rhi: Yeah. What I’m picturing is just a wide shot of a street and then Echo coming in from off-screen just perfectly still and straight just rolling through, from one side of the shot to the other. No movement, just… [gliding sound].
Kim: On the flip side, I was picturing Echo getting really proficient at it and speed skating this shit and using it in combat and just being fantastic and badass.
Rhi: Also that. So yeah, you all kind of eventually can drift back together at this point with your winnings and acquisitions. Echo, you haven’t gained anything material other than a business card and a new friend.
Josie: Yay!
Rhi: Everybody else, you know… Arlene has expertly-done face paint. The parents have won prizes. Do you all want to head anywhere together at this point or do you wanna split up again? Might I tempt you with the tarot card readings?
Josie: Yes. I wanna do tarot card readings.
Minna: Please! Tarot card readings.
Aki: I also want it, but I still want to accumulate my small bag of army toys.
Josie: Lucky.
Rhi: Yes. You all can definitely split up again.
Kim: I don’t think Val has much interest in the tarot. I think we could do parents and kids split up.
Minna: I’m cool with that.
Josie: Ooh, sure.
Aki: I think what will happen with Darling is, once I have satisfyingly wiped this place out of their toys, that is when, if there is time to do things like the tarot specifically, that’s when she’ll go do it, but right now she’s having way too much fun obliterating these fools.
Kim: Yeah.
Aki: Even when they try to cheat, in the ring toss, it’s like ‘ha-ha, it’s too small to fit all the regular bottles,’ and then Darling’s like nah bitch, whoosh, throws the ring, bonks into the other ring, lands perfectly on the big prize bottle. That’s how we win this. That’s how we do this. [laughs]
Rhi: Yeah. I’m fine with saying that… You don’t have to keep making rolls. I’m fine with Darling just being in the background just fleecing people out of their giant stuffed animals.
Aki: I’ll take the small ones too. It’s okay. I gotta accumulate for all my NPCs.
Rhi: Yeah. Oh my God, Darling’s just… Every time Darling reenters the scene there’s just more stuffed animals.
Aki: I have to start giving them to the little kids that are there because there’s no point in winning them when the big bag lady has them all.
Rhi: What were the rest of you doing at this point?
Kim: It would be fun to see Val test their strength, I think.
Josie: I thought Echo and Arlene were doing tarot.
Rhi: Okay. Echo and Arlene are gonna head over to the tarot card reading.
Minna: Is it Arlene’s idea or Echo’s idea?
Josie: I think it’s Arlene’s idea, but Echo nods unusually vigorously at the idea.
Minna: Yeah. I think Arlene is like:
Minna (as Arlene): Echo, do you wanna go do that?
Minna: So, when Echo nods, she grabs Echo’s hand and drags her towards the tarot.
Josie: Which is easy to do on her new roller skates which are already on.
[laughter]
Minna: So Arlene has Echo by the hand and Echo is behind, [little rolling sounds], rolling along.
Kim: They definitely squeak. They’re brand new roller skates, but they do squeak.
Rhi: That’s really good. The two of you get to the tarot card reading tent and push the tent flap aside. Inside is a… let’s see. Older man, looks Akorosian, light skin, dark hair that’s worn long pulled back into a low ponytail. He’s got very dramatic eye makeup and very nicely-done nail polish as he’s shuffling the cards and gestures for you to come in. As he sees that Echo is rolling, he’s like:
Rhi (as man): Ooh, mind the carpet there. I don’t want you to trip.
Josie: Echo gently removes them, but she still holds them on her lap because she likes them a lot.
Rhi: Yeah. [giggles]
Rhi (as man): Alright. So, coming to get some insight into past, present and future?
Josie (as Echo): Yes.
Rhi (as man): Alright. Which one of you wants to go first?
Minna (as Arlene): Echo, you should go.
Josie (as Echo): Are you sure?
Minna (as Arlene): Yeah! Go for it.
Josie (as Echo): Then I will go first.
Rhi: Okay. For those among our listeners, and for Aki who was not here with the Magpies… because I have no chill—
Minna: [delighted yelp]
Rhi: With the Magpies, I also did a tarot card reading, but the tarot that exists in the real world… some of the cards, the Major Arcana and the suits don’t map onto the setting of Blades in the Dark very neatly. So, I rewrote some of them.
Kim: More like all of them.
Rhi: So I have a—Not all of them…
Kim: Close.
Rhi: …just a chunk of them. I didn’t rewrite the meanings. The meanings are all the same. I just rewrote what some of the cards look like. So I did not create a brand new tarot deck, I just re-flavored some of them. So, he looks at Echo and shuffles the deck. The first card that he deals out is the Knight of Void.
Josie: Ooh.
Rhi: The next one is the 10 of Void, reversed, and then the final one is The Pearl.
Josie: Ooh. I don’t know what those translate to in an actual tarot deck, so you have to explain them to me. [giggles]
Rhi: Yes, I will do so. He looks at them and is like:
Rhi (as man): So, the Knight of Void… This represents a disappointment in your past, something or someone that let you down. But, that disappointment has led you to where you find yourself now, here…
Rhi: He taps the 10 of Void.
Rhi (as man): which is to a place of fulfillment, a place where you are able to start achieving your dreams.
Josie: Echo cocks her head like she’s thinking really hard about that one.
Rhi (as man): If you follow through on this path that you’re on…
Rhi: He touches The Pearl. The card has a sort of iridescence to it. It’s a really beautiful-looking card.
Rhi (as man): If you keep staying on this path, it will lead you to success and a place of joy, I think.
Josie: She cocks her head a little more like she is doubtful of that, but she puts her finger up and moves it like she’s doing some mental math, maybe calculating something astrological.
Josie (as Echo): Maybe. This is a very nice deck.
Rhi (as man): And now, for you.
Minna (as Arlene): [smiling] Okay!
Rhi (as man): Yes, let’s see what the cards have for you.
Rhi: He sets the cards that he played out for Echo aside and shuffles the deck and then plays out for Arlene, first, the 3 of Blades, reversed, then the Hermit, then the Ace of Blades.
Minna: Hmm~!
Rhi (as man): It says that in your past you’ve come from a place of either being able to recover and forgive or needing to do those things. Perhaps something happened that you feel you need to forgive someone for. Your present is the Hermit which is about looking for truth, looking for guidance, a purpose perhaps.
Josie (as Echo): It definitely doesn’t mean that you spend too much time in your room. I’m the one who does that.
Minna (as Arlene): [giggles]
Rhi (as man): [chuckles] No, The Hermit doesn’t necessarily mean isolation. But, in your future, similar to your friend here, it seems that if you keep following this path that you’re on, keep exploring, continue on your search for truth… it will give you the breakthrough that you need, the clarity that you’re seeking.
Minna (as Arlene): Oh… okay.
Josie (as Echo): But which path, I wonder.
Minna (as Arlene): I mean, is… [giggles]
Rhi (as man): That is up to you.
Minna (as Arlene): It sounds like the point is that I don’t really know what path right now.
Rhi: He gathers up the cards again.
Rhi (as man): I just read the cards. What they mean and what you make of it is up to you. But, hopefully it gives you something to think about if nothing else.
Rhi: He’ll shuffle them up again and set them aside.
Josie (as Echo): Thank you.
Rhi (as man): Yes, thank you. Enjoy the rest of the festival.
Minna (as Arlene): Yeah, thank you. You as well. Uh… good luck!
Rhi: He will just give you a nod, and you step back outside. It was oddly quiet and muffled in there, and as you step back out the lights hanging in the street and the sounds of the festival all come rushing back in.
Josie (as Echo): I’m not one to pry, but you need to forgive someone? Question mark.
Minna (as Arlene): Uh… I don’t really know what all that is about.
Josie: Echo is slowly putting her roller skates back on.
Josie (as Echo): I think if it’s not obvious, it’s probably going to default to forgiving yourself for something.
Minna (as Arlene): I didn’t do anything. I’m fine.
Josie: I think she looks across the square to see Darling just absolutely murdering carnival games with assassin weapon skill.
Minna: [laughs]
Josie (as Echo): … If you say so. I’m not good as self-forgiveness either, so I cannot judge.
Minna (as Arlene): What about you? What did all that mean for you?
Josie (as Echo): It mostly makes sense. I am not certain that the path I am on, the person I need to… you know, will bring joy and satisfaction, only safety for others. I suppose here I am happier than I thought I would be.
Josie: She kind of kicks her skated foot so the wheels go [spinning sound].
Minna (as Arlene): I don’t know about you, but I definitely think a priority should be safety and happiness for you. No, you’re not allowed to not be joyful and happy in the future.
Josie (as Echo): Well, if it’s not allowed, then I suppose I have no choice.
Minna (as Arlene): Good!
Josie (as Echo): Are you gonna make me have to say that the same goes for you? Because you don’t like to follow the rules.
Minna (as Arlene): I don’t like to follow the rules, you’re right, but luckily I’m pretty focused on my own happiness already, so hey.
Josie (as Echo): That is good. Does that mean a future for you and your girlfriend~?
Josie: She’s trying to put that lilt on it, but her voice is monotone.
[laughter]
Minna (as Arlene): I mean, hopefully?
Josie (as Echo): I would love to see the look on Darling’s face if you two ever got married.
Aki: Oh!
Minna (as Arlene): [laughs nervously]
Josie (as Echo): I’m not saying you should, but it would be a good face.
Minna (as Arlene): I’m just saying that Darling would be terrifying. Can you imagine Darling planning a wedding? Actually, let’s not talk about this. That seems like I’m gonna jinx it.
Rhi: [laughs] In the distance you two can see Darling wrestling an enormous teddy bear into a bag that has materialized from somewhere, and you start heading in that general direction. Let’s check back in with Val.
Kim: Yeah.
Rhi: Are you still wandering around with Darling and her stuffed animal quest or have you set off on your own again?
Kim: Oh, that’s right, I wanted to try out the test your strength game for Val.
Rhi: Okay, yeah-yeah-yeah. That’s basically just set up in the street across from Hedwig’s parking lot.
Kim: Right.
Rhi: There are prizes. The prizes all appear to be identical. It seems like it’s very much a participation sort of thing. There doesn’t seem to be any way of measuring your strength. It mostly seems to be “here’s a sledgehammer and some scrap metal, go have fun.”
Kim: So it’s a rage room?
Rhi: Yes, but they’re billing it as a test your strength thing.
Kim: That’s so good.
Rhi: But yeah, if you’d like to see how much damage Val can do…
Kim: I would love that.
Rhi: …give me, uh, I believe this could only be Wreck.
Kim: I have nothing in Wreck. Ha! Let’s do it anyway. Alright… Ooh, oh no. So, it’s take the lower, right, when you don’t have any rank?
Rhi: Yep.
Kim: I rolled a 1.
Rhi: Oh no.
Kim: Val’s old.
Rhi: Yeah… yeah, and this is not the kind of thing that you normally do.
Kim: No.
Rhi: So, you get in there, you pick up a hammer, and there’s an old car door propped up on something. You take a swing at it and your hammer just kinda bounces off.
Kim: Oh dear.
Rhi: You take a couple more. You take a few more swings at it. You put some dents in it, eventually, but by the time you decide to call it quits, you’re gonna need to… you’re gonna be feeling that tomorrow. Whatever you just did to your back, oh, you’re gonna feel that tomorrow.
Kim: Yeah… Yep. Val just had a real big moment of “I probably could have done this 20 years ago… 30 years ago.”
Rhi: Yep. Yep.
Kim: Not anymore.
Rhi: Nonetheless, as you head out, you get to pick from the giant bin of Cool Tires…
Kim: Oh my God.
Rhi: …that they have out there, in every color under the sun.
Kim: Is there one that Echo doesn’t have yet?
Rhi: Oh yeah.
Kim: Val is going to pick out a red Cool Tires with some hotrod flames on it.
Rhi: Nice.
Josie: [emotional yelp]
Rhi: Alright. And yeah, let’s check back in with Darling. Darling, what’s your stuffed animal situation like?
Aki: Immaculate. [laughs] I have so much. I have too much.
Rhi: Yes.
Aki: I think it’s gotten to the point where they’re like… [stammers]
Rhi: There are multiple carnival stands that are not letting you play anymore.
Aki: Yeah. They’re like “please stop, please… think of the kids.”
Rhi: Yeah.
Aki: And I just go, what about them, as I’m occasionally giving a tiny toy to one of the kids that stops and stares. Just do the job. It’s not my fault I’m so good at this, you know. Just give them some stuff.
Kim: No, literally.
Aki: Occasionally. The rest, though, I save for all my NPCs and my PCs, and afterwards it will just go to a toy drive or something or occasional birthday gifts. I’ll save it in the closet. I think Darling is though in fact carrying one of those giant plastic bags filled with toys. Like, it’s very obvious.
Rhi: Yeah, just giant bag, stuffed. Pearl is carrying a few on her back.
Kim: She has one in her mouth at this point, though.
Aki: Yeah. We definitely got one that was chew toy adjacent and she gets to chew on that one, whereas the elephant will be the new bed for a while. In the living room we lounge on a couch or something and Pearl will have a giant elephant stuffie.
Josie: Echo rolls up gently.
Josie (as Echo): There’s not going to be any festival left.
Aki (as Darling): Exactly, because I’ve won. What stuffed toy—
Rhi: [Darling voice] “You didn’t tell me that this was a party you could win.”
Aki: Yes, exactly!
[giggling]
Aki (as Darling): You should have put the gamble in it. I’ve done so well. Echo, is there a, oh… Is there anything of the variety that I have that you fancy?
Josie (as Echo): Oh, um… I think I am fine.
Aki (as Darling): Okay, but what if I had a model train in here?
Kim: Oh my God.
Josie: Echo stares and mechanically blinks.
Josie (as Echo): If there is a model train in there…
Aki: I open the bag. There are squeaking noises because some of these things have a squish in it. A squish? A squeak? You know, the thing.
Rhi: Oh my God…
Aki: I’m digging through, digging-digging, and then finally I just pull out a box, a cardboard box or whatever. Boom, train, somehow I won it.
Rhi: Yeah, Skee-Ball. The Skee-Ball game I think doesn’t have a lot of stuffed animals. It has a lot of…
Aki: Other things, yeah. I pull it out and it’s nothing elaborately fancy or anything like that, because why would you have that at a carnival, right? But I think it’s nice enough that it’s a decent size, won’t take up too much space, so you could put it on a desk or whatnot, but the wheels work so it moves. I give it to Echo.
Josie (as Echo): Oh… I can use this. Thank you.
Kim (as Val): Here, you can take this too.
Kim: Val is gonna toss the Cool Tires to Echo as they walk by.
Josie (as Echo): Val, you already got me a present.
Kim (as Val): Eh, have another one.
Josie (as Echo): Thank you.
Aki (as Darling): Oh, Val, you’re here. What do you fancy?
Aki: And I wiggle my bag.
Kim (as Val): Good gods… that is a lot.
Aki (as Darling): Yes. You did not tell me there was an aspect of winning.
[laughter]
Kim (as Val): It wasn’t a competition.
Aki (as Darling): But there were other competitors, and I beat them.
Kim (as Val): How many children have you made cry today?
[laughter]
Aki (as Darling): Ooh-hoo-hoo, a lot now that I think about it. I was mostly beating their parents.
Rhi: Oh my God.
Kim (as Val): Alright, let’s see what you got.
Josie: Echo gently takes out a stuffed monkey and puts it around Val’s neck, with the wide arms.
Kim (as Val): What the hell are you doing?
Josie (as Echo): Don’t worry about it. She’s just hanging around.
Minna: Hehe!
Kim (as Val): Ugh. Alright.
Aki (as Darling): Some may say that it would drive you bananas.
Kim (as Val): You’re pushing it, Dar, you’re pushing it.
Aki (as Darling): [giggles]
Minna (as Arlene): I don’t know, I think it’s, uh… a gibbon that we should enjoy these jokes.
Kim (as Val): [grumbles]
Josie (as Echo): Oh, that’s a good one.
Aki (as Darling): Oh yes, Arlene. Arlene, come here. Come here, dear. Pick from the bag!
Minna (as Arlene): Yes? Oh…
Minna: I think Arlene covers her eyes with one hand and reaches in and grabs something.
Aki: Aww. What do you grab?
Minna: Hmm… I don’t know why, but I feel like I want it to be a stuffed fish.
Aki: Yes. [laughs]
Kim: Aww.
Aki: Fishie!
Rhi: It’s a big stuffed fish in the same really bright fantastical colors as your face paint which is not the kind of—we don’t have fish that look like that anymore. They don’t look like that in the Void Sea!
Minna: It’s a fantasy creature.
Rhi: Yeah, it’s a fantasy creature.
Minna: I have probably had unicorn stuffed animals and those don’t exist in the real world.
Rhi: Yeah!
Minna: So I think she just looks at it and she grins.
Minna (as Arlene): Oh, this is neat!
Aki (as Darling): Yes. I’ve won many things. Wait—
Aki: I pull out a small bear, a small very patchwork bear, but it’s supposed to be a bunch of different colors, but the way it’s made is that it’s patchwork on purpose. I’ll give it to Arlene.
Aki (as Darling): For your… [flatly] heh, girlfriend.
Minna (as Arlene): Thank you. I’ll tell her it’s from you.
Aki (as Darling): Oh, eh… okay. You go do that.
Minna: She kisses Darling’s cheek.
Kim: Aww.
Minna: Except that she can’t lean up and do it, so she has to get on her tiptoes and give her a very commanding look.
Aki (as Darling): Yep, yep, yep. I know.
Aki: I just lean in one direction and it will work out.
Rhi: I think that, as you all are standing here handing out stuffed animals and other prizes, you hear a shout from Hedwig’s parking lot.
Rhi (as Hedwig): Oh, hey! Darling, Val… Echo—
Rhi: Shouting. You look over and see that Hedwig is leaning over her fence and waving at you.
Rhi (as Hedwig): Come on in. Get something to eat.
Josie (as Echo): Oh, thank you.
Aki (as Darling): Oh! Hedwig, good, you’re here.
Aki: And I bring the bag up to her.
Aki (as Darling): Do you have a preference?
Rhi (as Hedwig): Oh my goodness. You have been busy.
Aki (as Darling): Very, and I acquired them all without cheating, I swear.
Minna (as Arlene): If you say it like that, it sounds like you did cheat, though, Darling.
Rhi (as Hedwig): Yeah, there’s just… there’s so many of them.
Aki (as Darling): Why would I cheat?!
Minna (as Arlene): Oh, no, I know you didn’t cheat, I’m just saying that, if you say it like that, it sounds like you did.
Rhi (as Hedwig): Do you have, uh… dogs? Do you have any dogs in there?
Aki (as Darling): I have lots of dogs.
Aki: I start pulling out dogs.
Rhi (as Hedwig): Oh…
Aki: [giggles]
Rhi (as Hedwig): Okay! I just need—Just one is fine. Just a little…
Aki (as Darling): Do you want a droopy-eared dog or do you want, like, the ears flipped up dog?
Rhi (as Hedwig): I like the little droopy-eared one.
Aki (as Darling): I’ll give you a droopy-eared dog.
Rhi (as Hedwig): Thank you. He’s very cute.
Rhi: She will tuck the little droopy-eared dog into a pocket of her overalls and will bring you all into the parking lot which is currently basically just a big cookout. It smells awesome, for those of you who can smell things. There’s a lot of stuff being grilled. It’s all hand food. There’s a few places to sit down and eat, or some tables that you can stand at, but a lot of it is just stuff that you can eat one-handed while you’re walking around. There’s kebabs, there’s wraps…
Josie: Echo is just rolling her Cool Tires on one of the tables next to Val.
Rhi: [rolling sounds] There is notably absolutely no alcohol. Val, you would know from the past that the unions that run the whole festival keep things locked down very tight. They keep it very, very clean.
Kim: I see.
Rhi: Because they don’t wanna give the cops an excuse to cause trouble.
Kim: Right.
Rhi: In years past, there were a couple incidents where people snuck alcohol in and it led to some problems where the Bluecoats came in and started beating people up, because that’s what they do. So now they’re just like, nuh-uh, no, we’re not gonna give them even the barest hint of a reason.
Kim: Right?
Rhi: This is above-board.
Kim: Completely.
Rhi: So… yeah.
Rhi (as Hedwig): Since you’re friends of mine, I’ll let them know your first meal is on me, so help yourselves.
Kim (as Val): No. Hedwig, we’re gonna pay.
Rhi (as Hedwig): [mocking, interrupting, not-listening sounds]
Kim (as Val): It’s for the union!
Rhi (as Hedwig): Nope! If you want to make a donation, that is fine, and something you will do separately of this thing that I am doing for you, my friends.
Aki (as Darling): Well that’s sweet.
Josie (as Echo): Val just needs to catch up in points so they can win the festival instead.
Kim (as Val): I’m not out to win anything, alright?
Rhi (as Hedwig): Oh, is that what’s happening here?
Aki (as Darling): What?
Kim (as Val): Nothing. I am going to—
Josie (as Echo): No, I am just teasing.
Kim (as Val): I am going to “make a donation.”
Kim: And they do air quotes as they say that, as they fish into their pocket.
Rhi: [laughs]
Rhi (as Hedwig): Ooh! Cool skates, Echo.
Josie (as Echo): Thank you. Val got them for me.
Josie: Spins the wheels.
Rhi (as Hedwig): Nice.
Rhi: Yeah, there’s a whole bunch of food options here. Feel free to add your own spin on things if there’s particular street or festival food that you want to have.
Kim: We can do hotdogs, right?
Rhi: Yeah. There’s definitely sausage in a bun type situations.
Aki: Meat on a stick is my favorite. It’s also the… oh yeah, it’s also the best way to feed Pearl. So, meat on a stick.
Rhi: [laughs] Yes.
Aki: Then I gesture to Pearl.
Aki (as Darling): Big meat on a stick, please. That way she is not… She is her own person, and she does not like to be shackled.
Aki: [laughs]
Rhi: I feel like, the place you’re at, they have several rotisserie chickens just on a spit over a grill. Normally they’re cooking them and they take the chickens off and break them down and will sell the chicken that way, but the woman selling them just sort of looks at you, looks at the tiger, looks at you, grabs a really big skewer and just slides two chickens onto it and tells you how much it costs.
[laughter]
Aki: Yep, yep.
Rhi: Then we cut to Pearl just happily going to town on a couple of rotisserie chickens.
Aki (as Darling): Oh yes. Good day. Good party.
Rhi: Ah… What does Arlene get for food?
Minna: I feel like it’s some manner of fried fish.
Rhi: Oh, there’s probably definitely fish and chips.
Minna: Yeah. Then also, if there’s anything that’s sweet.
Rhi: They would definitely have… Why am I blanking on it? What’s the name?
Minna: Funnel cake?
Rhi: Yes, funnel cake. It just evaporated from my brain entirely. They absolutely have funnel cake. It’s fine. There is some kind of extremely sweet, messy, sugary cake situation happening here. Fried cake situation.
Josie: Echo doesn’t get anything, and just tries to politely do her own thing.
Rhi: No. I think that Hedwig has encountered “Echo doesn’t like to eat in front of other people before” and is just like, okay, that’s Echo’s thing, that’s fine, I’m not gonna pressure her about it.
Josie: [laughs]
Minna: I feel like Arlene vaguely pushes the funnel cake towards Echo just to make it look like Echo’s partaking in the funnel cake.
Rhi: Yeah. The food is good. It smells nice. There’s a lot of people just hanging around and chatting and drifting in and out of the area.
You do notice, because this is basically at the end of the street, that there is a Bluecoat car parked on the cross street and they’re just clearly keeping an eye on the whole situation. And just as clearly, there’s a few union representatives who are on the enforcer end of the scale in terms of muscle mass hanging out on their side of the street. [laughs] Nobody’s doing anything, but everyone’s just kinda hanging out and keeping an eye on each other.
You finish up your food… I think as you’re heading out, Darling, your bag of goodies is much lighter. You’ve handed out stuff to your friends and loved ones… and some other random children who looked sad.
Aki: Mm-hmm. I’m not heartless. I’m not heartless, and I have to build that army of children at some point. [laughs]
Kim: Oh my God.
Rhi: I don’t know if you wanted to make a visit to the tarot card reading tent.
Aki: I do. I do, yes. Once my stuff is mostly done, I’ll be like:
Aki (as Darling): Oh, I might as well pay a stop at the “card reader.”
Rhi: Yeah. I think that, Val…
Kim: Yeah?
Rhi: …as you’re all leaving, what draws your attention is somebody has set up not even a formal stall, they just have a little table, and it just grabs you like a compass swinging to north of…
Rhi (as ???): Watch the ball. Try your luck. Two rounds id double or nothing.
Rhi: …the patter of a cup and ball betting game. It just hooks right into that gambling vice of yours.
Kim: Oh yes.
Rhi: And do-do-do, I think you find yourself just walking on over.
Josie: I think Echo has followed and is quietly watching.
Rhi: Yeah. Arlene, where are you heading?
Minna: I feel like Arlene wants to dance.
Rhi: Alright. You can definitely go do that. I think the bands have just switched out, so there’s a new band that’s coming up that is probably doing more of a jazz swing type thing.
Minna: I need Arlene to be into whatever the dancing thing is right now. I don’t know that it’s swing in the 20s, but like Charleston? I don’t know.
Rhi: Oh yeah. Yeah. A new band is taking the stage that is playing music that you’re meant to dance to. A bunch of people are getting on the dance floor.
Minna: Arlene is just making random friends to dance with.
Rhi: Yeah. I think there’s enough people that didn’t come here with somebody to dance with that you can definitely grab folks. So Val, I will tell you that, for this, for this betting game, the first round you’re gonna win.
Kim: Okay.
Rhi: Because you always win the first round.
Josie: Uh-huh…
Minna: Oh… Is it the shell game?
Rhi: [grins] Of course. I have watched so many college freshmen get taken for a fucking ride on the CTA by con artists with this game. You win the first round and then the second round is double or nothing. The first round, you win. If you want to walk away after that point, you are going to have to make some kind of roll, some kind of resistance roll.
Kim: Oh, I’m not even gonna bother. I’m in it.
Rhi: [laughs] Okay. Yeah. The second round, it is gonna be basically 50-50 odds. I’m gonna have you call odds or evens. You’re gonna lose all of the money that you brought to spend for the day.
Josie: Can I help Val out?
Rhi: Oh, interesting. How would you want to do that?
Josie: I think I want to be specifically looking for the cheat, try and figure out where the ball is actually going, and then just point it out. I think if he tries to take Val on too much of a ride, she’ll just be like, “it’s in your sleeve.”
Rhi: [laughs] Okay. Echo, give me some kind of roll for doing that assist.
Josie: I’m gonna go with Study.
Rhi: Yeah, that makes sense.
Josie: I got a 3, so nope.
Rhi: Yeah. Unfortunately, Echo, you lose track of where this guy is moving things. He’s really fast. So yeah, Kim, odds or evens? If I roll the side that you call, you keep your money.
Kim: Let’s go with evens.
Rhi: Evens… I rolled a 3.
Kim: No~
Rhi: So you have lost all of the money that you brought today.
Rhi (as con artist): Yeah, that’s rough, that’s rough… but let’s go a third round. Let’s go a third round. Win it back. You can win it all back and then some, eh? What do you say? What do you say?
Kim (as Val): Alright, you convinced me. Let’s go.
Rhi (as con artist): Alright. Okay.
Josie (as Echo): Val, are you sure?
Kim (as Val): If I keep trying, I’ll win it back.
Josie (as Echo): That’s not necessarily true.
Kim (as Val): Yes it is.
Josie (as Echo): That’s not how statistics—
Kim (as Val): Shh, shh, shh!
Josie (as Echo): Okay.
Kim (as Val): Enough with your math.
Rhi: I will tell you, the stakes on this are losing a coin.
Kim: Okay.
Rhi: Echo, you can try to assist again if you would like.
Josie: Sure, I’ll do it again.
Rhi: Okay.
Josie: I got a 5 this time.
Rhi: Okay. You’re 90% sure that it’s up his sleeve, it’s not under any of the cups.
Josie: Let’s see how it… I wanna see Val’s reaction first.
Rhi: Yeah. Go ahead and pick a number, odds or evens.
Kim: [exhales] Let’s go with odds.
Rhi: Okay. I’m not gonna bother rolling the dice because it’s not under any of the cups. [smiles] He picks up the one that you point to.
Rhi (as con artist): Oh… sorry friend. Bad luck. Bad luck.
Rhi: And he’ll take the rest of your money.
Josie: I don’t think Echo’s even gonna say anything. I think Echo’s just gonna straight-up reach into the guy’s sleeve. [laughs]
Kim (as Val): [stammers] No, don’t—Eh… Listen. I’m sorry, she’s just…
Josie: And try to pull the ball out.
Rhi (as con artist): Hey, hey, hey! Hey!
Josie (as Echo): Val, it’s in his sleeve.
Kim (as Val): You stinking cheater.
Rhi (as con artist): Now, listen… We don’t need to make a whole thing of this.
Kim (as Val): I agree.
Rhi (as con artist): I will give you back… Your friend here is very perceptive. I will give you back what you lost on the last round and take my business elsewhere.
Kim (as Val): No, I think you’re gonna give me back everything that you’ve fleeced me out of and then we’re gonna act like this never happened.
Josie (as Echo): For what it’s worth, we are not snitches, I just don’t like my friend being taken like that.
Rhi: He’s gonna do the math on this situation. “Eh, I’m outnumbered, there’s a lot of people around…”
Rhi (as con artist): [grumbles] Alright. Alright.
Rhi: Gives you back all your money.
Kim (as Val): Much obliged.
Rhi (as con artist): Yeah, yeah…
Rhi: Grumbling to himself, wanders.
Kim (as Val): Alright doll, let’s get out of here.
Josie (as Echo): Sorry.
Rhi: While that is happening, Darling has headed over to the tarot reading booth. I think there’s a little light that comes on outside when somebody’s in there, and it’s on right now. She only has to wait outside for a few moments before somebody ducks out and it clicks off, so she can duck in. I imagine there is a fair amount of ducking because Darling is… long.
Aki: Yes. Huge.
Rhi: There is a lot of Darling.
Aki: She’s also beefy. I forgot I made her quite beef actually.
Rhi: Yeah! Yeah. The man sitting at the table will look up at you.
Rhi (as man): Hello.
Aki (as Darling): Hello there~
Rhi (as man): Would you like to have a seat and gain a little insight into your past, present and future?
Aki (as Darling): Yes, I would love to. Though, I must say, if you pull any weird parlor tricks on me, I do have a very large cat outside.
Rhi (as man): Oh… No, no tricks here, just what the cards have to say.
Aki (as Darling): Good, good, good. By tricks I mean pulling a knife on me or something like that. I would highly advise against it. Other than that, we’re good.
Rhi (as man): Are you this paranoid with everyone?
Aki (as Darling): Well, I mean, why not? Wouldn’t you want to—The last thing I want is to be cheated out of, I don’t know, a cup and ball game or something.
[laughter]
Josie: Wow.
Rhi (as man): Oh… Oof. Is that guy set up outside again?
Aki (as Darling): Oh, there is a cup and ball game? I was just guessing.
Rhi (as man): No, no, there is. He’s been fleecing people all afternoon.
Aki (as Darling): Ah, I see, I see. Well then, I’m correct in being a little bit paranoid.
Rhi (as man): Yes, but I am very straightforward about what I’m doing here.
Rhi: As he says that, he will start dealing out the cards. The first is the 5 of Blades, the second is The Emperor, and the last is The Hunter. He will tap the 5 of Blades.
Rhi (as man): So, it seems in your past you’re coming from a place of unbridled ambition, a desire to win above all else.
Aki: I quietly push the bag of toys out of sight.
Rhi: [laughs]
Aki (as Darling): Yes. Yes, you’re not wrong there.
Rhi (as man): Hmm. That may have led you to a place where you found yourself in a position of authority, where you have control and structure over your life, perhaps in a parenting role even.
Aki (as Darling): Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. So far so good.
Rhi (as man): Moving forward, hmm…
Rhi: He taps the last card, The Hunter.
Rhi (as man): [exhales] This is an interesting one because it overlaps some with The Emperor. It’s another card about control, but it’s also about exerting your will, finding a direction, being able to maintain that control. These cards in combination in your present and future tell me that perhaps maybe something is challenging that control, threatening it.
Aki (as Darling): In what…? Hmm. Does it provide a context? Because, don’t tell anyone, but I think I’m rather controlling and that is an issue that I do not want to resolve.
Josie: [laughs]
Aki (as Darling): It’s gotten me quite far in life and I’m quite good at it.
Rhi (as man): Well, if you don’t see it as a problem, then perhaps it isn’t a threat at all. But no, there isn’t context here. I merely provide guidance and suggestion. What it means, how it’s interpreted, that is up to you to decide, to apply it to your own life. I just bring it here for you to consider.
Aki (as Darling): That makes sense. One doesn’t commune with spirits and shit without large consequences.
Rhi (as man): Indeed.
Aki (as Darling): Well, if there isn’t anything else, would you mind doing a reading for my cat?
Josie: [laughs]
Rhi (as man): Certainly. Would you be willing to bring the cat in…?
Aki (as Darling): Would you be willing to have such a large creature in your, um… parlor?
Rhi (as man): Yes, out of pure curiosity at this point.
Aki (as Darling): Okay. Well, if you’re willing.
Aki: I tell Pearl, because we got that mind link, and then Pearl will bink-bonk in because she’s still carrying quite a bit of stuffed toys. And yup, exactly, it’s just a tiger.
Rhi: His eyes go big. He leans back in his chair.
Rhi (as man): Alright. When you said big cat, you were underselling it. You do understand that?
Aki (as Darling): What do you mean? A tiger is a big cat.
Rhi (as man): [sighs]
Aki (as Darling): She doesn’t bite… unless I tell her to. She is house trained.
Aki: I’m saying all of this and giving Pearl love.
Rhi (as man): I will admit, this is definitely one of the more unique readings I’ve been asked to do, but very well.
Aki (as Darling): I just want to make sure she’s okay. You know? Like, what if the cards go, ugh, my tiger gets diabetes in the next two months? That would be horrid considering the diet that I have her on. It is the seafood diet, as in I just give her anything. She sees food, she eats it. It’s working. I’ve had no problems for the few years I have owned her.
Rhi (as man): Alright. Well, let’s see what the cards have to say about… What is her name?
Aki (as Darling): Her name is Pearl.
Rhi (as man): Oh, that’s an auspicious name going by the cards.
Rhi: He shuffles the cards again, and he will address Pearl as he’s doing this.
Rhi (as man): Alright. Well, for your past, we have The Leviathan which represents change, cycles, inevitable fate. I’m not quite sure what sort of life you would have had before you came here with your current companion, but perhaps it was one that was very repetitive where you felt maybe out of control. Then, for the present…
Rhi: He plays the 10 of Blood.
Rhi (as man): Now, you are in a place where you have a lot of responsibility which gives you both an opportunity for a lot of accomplishment but also sometimes burdens.
Rhi: I think he’s unable to keep his eyes from flicking up to the big elephant that’s sitting on her. [giggles] To his credit, he’s keeping an absolutely straight face while he’s doing this. He’s being very somber.
Aki: Darling will just nod.
Aki (as Darling): It’s okay, you can laugh. She knows what she’s gotten herself into. She wanted this thing.
Rhi (as man): And then for the future.
Rhi: Before I tell you what this is, I do want to assure everyone I just used a random number generator and I didn’t do this on purpose.
Kim: Did you get The Tower?
Rhi: He flips The Tower.
Kim: No!
Minna: [shrieks]
Rhi: [laughs]
Kim: No~!
Josie: Eh…
Rhi (as man): Hmm. Um… well, it seems that there may be some sort of sudden upheaval or unforeseen disaster in your future, I’m afraid. So… look out for that.
Aki (as Darling): Just like the time I got arrested. That was fun.
Josie: Pearl blinks slowly.
Aki: [laughs]
Josie: “I do not comprehend consequences.”
Rhi: Yeah. “I am a tiger.” [laughs]
Rhi (as man): You probably shouldn’t be telling me about the time you got arrested, ma’am. I hope nothing bad happens to your tiger. She seems very nice.
Aki (as Darling): I hope nothing bad happens to her too. Rest assured, I will make sure nothing bad happens. Ew, no, I don’t like that reading.
Aki: [laughs]
Rhi (as man): Very sorry.
Aki (as Darling): Oh… it’s okay. it’s all random anyways.
Rhi (as man): Sometimes the cards can have a flair for the dramatic and the disaster may not be as dire as it sounds.
Rhi: He will shuffle the cards back together and set them aside.
Aki (as Darling): Hmm… right. [huffs] Well, if there’s nothing else, I suppose I need to pay you. Correct?
Rhi (as man): That would be much appreciated, yes.
Aki (as Darling): Yes, yes, yes.
Rhi: It’s just pocket change. It’s not like you have to mark off a coin or anything.
Aki: Oh, okay. I was about to ask how much because I ordered two. I’ll just give him pocket change.
Aki (as Darling): I have a bunch of these, so would you like to pick a random one?
Aki: I hold up my bag of toys.
Rhi (as man): Oh, certainly. I don’t get to actually do much at the festival.
Rhi: He’ll just reach in. You have a bunch of those little monkeys, so I think he ends up grabbing one of those.
Rhi (as man): Alright…
Rhi: Hooks it onto the back arm of his chair.
Aki (as Darling): Exactly.
Rhi (as man): Thank you. Much appreciated.
Aki (as Darling): Thank you for the readings. We shall be taking our leave now.
Aki: As I do this, I will gently nudge Pearl to go first and make sure she doesn’t bonk anything on the way out.
Rhi: [laughs] The day is starting to wind down. The street isn’t quite emptying, but you know, a lot of the families with kids are heading home, so it’s getting a little quieter. I think that everybody comes back together. Arlene, I think that your face paint has started to run a little bit because you’ve gotten a little bit sweaty with dancing. Yeah… I think it’s getting to be about time for everyone to start making their way home. Darling, your bag of toys is half empty at this point.
Aki: The other half is for all my NPCs. [giggles]
Rhi: Yes. [laughs] Everyone who’s not physically present. As you all depart from the festival and start heading back towards the garage to rest up after a long, fun but tiring day, the rope that is holding the elephant onto Pearl’s back slips and comes undone, and the elephant falls into a muddy puddle on the side of the road.
Aki: No!
Rhi: [laughs] Disaster has befallen…
Josie: Fate is real.
Kim: The Tower.
Rhi: [giggling] The Tower is real.
Aki: The Tower. Oh my goodness! I pick it up as fast as I can, and I look at Pearl, and I look at the elephant, and I look back at Pearl, and I look back at the elephant.
Aki (as Darling): We can wash this. We’re going to wash this, okay? Before you get to use it, we’re going to wash this, okay?
Rhi: Pearl just headbutts you sadly.
Aki (as Darling): Oh, I know, dear. I was excited for you to have this too.
Aki: We gotta hang it to dry, so Pearl can’t use it for a whole day and it’s just sad in the apartment.
Rhi: Yeah… yep.
Kim: She’s definitely looking at it very sadly as it dries.
Rhi: Even with this small disaster, as the cards predicted…
Kim: I’m glad you got that out of the way.
Aki: [giggles]
Rhi: …you all make your way back—Yeah. [laughs] Listen. I couldn’t leave that thread hanging. You all make your way back to the garage after enjoying a good day of a festival in your neighborhood with your community and your friends.
## Outro [01:26:35]
Rhi: Thanks for joining us! The Whisky Jays will return in two weeks. The City That Never Dies is a Clever Corvids production. Visit our website at CleverCorvids.net and follow us on Twitter @clever_corvids for the latest on this and other shows.
The City That Never Dies is GM’d and edited by Rhi. Check out her business Skill Check for copyediting and accessibility consulting for the RPG community at RPGSkillCheck.net.
Arlene Graeme is played by Minna Reilly. Find her on Twitter @mynaminnarr.
Darling Tsering is played by Aki. Find her on Twitter @akinomii_art for more TTRPG Content.
Echo is played by Josie. Find her on Twitter @dragongirljosie, and check out her art at josie-art.com.
Valerie Sullivan is played by Kim. Find her on Twitter @kimdianajones.
Our opening and closing theme music is from Something by Kai Engel and is used under a Creative Commons license. Blades in the Dark is the creation of John Harper and is published by Evil Hat Productions.
Rhi: If you’d like to dedicate a personal message to a friend, family member, gaming group, or other special Clever Corvids fan in your life, you can do so right here! Visit clevercorvids.net and click on Jumbotron Messages under the Support Us menu to buy your very own message. As always, thanks to all our Patreon backers, whose ongoing support makes this show possible.
## Bloopers [01:28:28]
Rhi: This is why we have Craig.
Kim: Fucking Craig.
Aki: I don’t like him though. That’s a bitch up there.
Rhi: [cackles]
Kim: All my homies hate Craig.
Aki: Oh, and Giarc has a different command now, so Giarck works but has a different command.
Rhi: Oh, that’s why Giarc…
Kim: Giarc lives?
Aki: Yeah, Giarck lives. Yeah, it took a bit, but yeah. Ironically, it took around the time of our hiatus.
Rhi: Oh, okay.
Kim: Maybe there is a god.
Rhi: And that god’s name is Giarc.
Kim: Yes. All hail.