Transcribed by Michelle Kelly.
## Intro
Rhi: Welcome back to Imperial City. As always, thank you so much for joining us. If you’re enjoying the show, consider backing us on Patreon! You can find all kinds of great behind-the-scenes content, including a recent story of how Darling adopted Pearl. It’s adorable.
I’d like to tell you about one of our two sponsors for today! If you’ve ever struggled to find a great gaming group or wished you could play a new game but couldn’t find a GM to run it, then Start Playing is for you. Start Playing is an online service that gives professional GMs a platform to organize and run amazing games for players from all over the world. If you use our affiliate link in the show notes, you’ll get a ten dollar credit to spend on your games–whether you’re new to Start Playing or a veteran of the platform. So click on the link, claim your credits, and head over to startplaying.games to, well, start playing!
Next, Kris of Love & Hellfire is going to tell us about this month’s featured charity.
Kris: Hi everyone, it’s Kris. I’m here to tell you about this month’s featured charity: Toronto Indigenous Harm Reduction. Look, the Canadian government has a monstrous relationship with the Indigenous peoples of this land. The government has killed, displaced, and disenfranchised First Nations, Metis, and Inuit people at every turn, and the country’s Covid-19 response was no exception.
Toronto Indigenous Harm Reduction was founded in 2020 in response to city-wide shut downs of frontline services and a general lack of resources for Indigenous unhoused people in the city. TIHR provides basic needs, access to critical health support and Covid-19 testing, harm reduction supplies, traditional medicines and food, arts, and ceremony to some of the most vulnerable among the city of Toronto’s population.
You can help support them, and learn more about their mission to reduce harm and spread awareness about Indigenous arts and culture by visiting torontoindigenoushr.com. Thanks y’all.
Rhi: Our second sponsor for this episode is A Knight of Shreds and Patches podcast. This actual play mixed with audio drama is set in a far-future world in which the societies we know today have collapsed, and humanity is building something new amid the crumbling ruins and the flourishing wildlife. Join the Patina, a band of mercenaries in possession of an incredible piece of technology known as The Knight, as they explore this new world, search for answers, and build relationships. I was lucky enough to be an early guest performer on this show, and I can tell you that the cast is doing some really amazing things and telling some really incredible stories. Visit akosap.com to start listening, and follow their Twitter at akosap_podcast.
Finally, please take some time this week to advocate for queer rights, especially trans rights. Some truly nightmarish laws are being proposed at the national level, and in some states–like Florida–those nightmares are becoming reality. If you live in states where these measures are being considered or have passed, contact your representatives to tell them you oppose them. If you’re in a state where they haven’t been, tell your elected officials to take steps to specifically protect trans people. This is doubly important if you’re cis–if you want to call yourself an ally, you need to step up and speak out. And for our trans fans, we see you, we love you, and we’re doing our best to make this podcast a place where you can relax for a little while. It’s a small thing, but we hope it helps.
Now then. Let’s get started, shall we?
## Story continues [00.04.19]
Rhi: It’s been a while since the Whisky Jays have visited the Nightcaps distillery. The last time they were here, things ended on a bit of a… a sour note. There were some bruised feelings on both sides. Maybe not justified in, uh, certain directions. But you know, the crew felt that they had been sent into a job without enough information. Benny felt they were being dramatic. It ended with them, with the crew paying their debt and leaving and uh, they haven’t really had a lot of direct interaction with Benny since then. Bailey has been kind of acting as a go-between when they’ve had jobs for the Nightcaps, but they’ve been summoned back here for the first time in a while.
And as you arrive, you know, the last time you were here you got a distinct sense of things being kind of chaotic and stressed. And that trend seems to be continuing. It seems like there’s fewer people kinda out on the floor, scrambling to do more work. There’s just a lot of people running around. There’s a lot of noise, there’s a lot of shouting. Everybody who’s here seems very stressed and on edge. It just seems tense and unhappy as you kind of move across the floor back towards Benny’s office. Bailey, who is leading you across, kind of seems to have the— carrying a lot of that tension in her shoulders as she’s going. You know, normally she would be stopping to chat, maybe flirt a bit with some of the guards, security on staff, but you know, she is just all business, eyes ahead, leading you straight across to the office today. She knocks on the door, pokes her head in, tells her grandfather that you’re here and she waves you all inside.
And yeah, Benny Barsotti is at his desk as usual. And also as usual, the stress and tension of his distillery doesn’t seem to have quite touched him. He seems fairly relaxed. And it also seems like, as you all come in he gives you all a big grin, uh, whatever— he seems to be done sulking. [laughs] Over your last encounter. He’s decided that he’s done.
Kim: All business, too.
Rhi: So he, yeah, he gives you a big smile and is like:
Rhi (as Benny): Ah! Good to see you all again. Come in, come in. I have a very important job for all of you.
Rhi: He, you know, gestures for Bailey to close the door.
Kim (as Val): Alright, let’s hear it.
Rhi (as Benny): Yes. So, there is some very, very high-end whisky that we will be acquiring from its current owner in Tourmaline Park for a buyer in South Point who is wiling to pay quite a lot of money for it. And it needs to be moved quickly and carefully across the city to the train station at Robelston without any interference.
Kim (as Val): Uh, it’s quite a stretch just geography wise, but I think we can make that work.
Rhi (as Benny): Oh, oh I’m sorry, I— I wasn’t done explaining. You’re not moving the whisky.
Kim (as Val): Oh. I’m not?
Rhi (as Benny): I have a different— no, no, no, I have a different crew moving the whisky. No, in order to make sure that nobody interferes with them, we need a distraction. And so that’s… that’s you.
Kim (as Val): Well….
Rhi (as Benny): Sorry, I should’ve— I probably should’ve led with that.
Kim (as Val): What kind of distraction do ya need?
Rhi (as Benny): Well, there’s um… the whisky isn’t being acquired… we don’t have the current owner’s permission, let’s say, to take the whisky. So they’re going to be displeased that it’s being taken. And we need to make sure that there is something bigger and louder happening at the time that will pull the attention of the Bluecoats, uh, any other gangs who might be interested in this transport that’s happening. Basically, we just want to make sure that all eyes are somewhere else. It’s, you know, smoke and mirrors. It’s a magic trick.
Rhi: He gives you a, you know, big grin.
Josie (as Echo): Who is the current owner?
Rhi: Josie, you’re very good at asking me questions that I didn’t prepare answers to.
Josie: [laughs]
Rhi: Uh… let’s see here. Do we have a— I don’t think Tourmaline Park is an area of the city we’ve developed a lot of detail for.
Josie: Nope.
Rhi: It’s just a, it’s a rich, it’s a rich neighborhood near the palace. Yeah, upper class residential, mostly employees of palace, ministry and Belltower businesses. I wanna say it’s somebody who works— who has a fairly high position in the Imperial City Grand Opera House.
Josie: Ooh.
Rhi: Yeah. I’m just trying to think of like, what position do we think this person has?
Kim: Ooh…
Josie: Grand Maestro. I don’t know.
Rhi: We’ll just say it’s a maestro of the Grand Opera House. Yeah, so Benny will reply that there’s a maestro of the Opera House has a very nice collection of whisky and I guess has a rival in South Point that is paying a lot of money.
Rhi (as Benny): This is personal. The kind of money that’s being thrown around, this is a personal grudge.
Josie (as Echo): I see.
Rhi (as Benny): Yes. So the whisky collection is valuable, but the amount of money that we’re getting paid for this is above and beyond what it’s worth.
Kim (as Val): Which means our cut will be… what are we talking here?
Rhi (as Benny): Assuming all goes according to plan and this all goes smoothly, meaning that my other crew gets out of the city without being interfered with, we’re looking at six coin.
Kim (as Val): Six coin total or six coin each?
Rhi (as Benny): Six coin total, Val.
Kim (as Val): I’m—
Kim: Val puts their hands up, like in a placating gesture, like:
Kim (as Val): I’m just asking. You said it was a significant amount of money. I didn’t know what kinda numbers you were talking here.
Aki (as Darling): Ah, you’ve got to shoot your shot. You’re not wrong.
Rhi (as Benny): Yeah, well I’ve also got a whole other crew that I’ve gotta pay, so.
Kim (as Val): Fair point.
Rhi: And six coin is a good amount of money.
Kim: It’s still— yeah.
Rhi: Yeah, like that’s… four coin is like a month’s wages for your average worker.
Kim: Nice.
Rhi: So, six coin, that’s a good chunk of change. That’s gonna mean each of you can take home a coin and then you’ll have money left over for the crew, so that’s more than he pays you most of the time. [laughs]
Rhi (as Benny): So uh, yeah. I’ll leave it up to you to figure out how you want to be a distraction, but yeah. You just need to keep all eyes on you for the time that it’ll take for my other crew to grab the goods and get across the city.
Kim: Yeah.
Josie: So there’s a question Echo wants to ask, but I don’t wanna put Rhi on the spot again. But it’s:
Josie (as Echo): Who is the other crew?
Rhi: Uh, let me…
Josie: [laughs]
Rhi: I was pretty sure you were about to ask that, so I am rapidly generating a name.
Josie: Cause I mean, it makes a lot of sense that we would be able to coordinate here. [laughs]
Rhi: Yeah, yeah, for sure.
Rhi (as Benny): It’s Sage Everpenny’s crew. You know ‘em?
Rhi: And out of character I will say Sage Everpenny, they run another smuggling crew that works for Benny. You’ve crossed paths with them a few times, like, you know them. You’ve seen them around the office. [laughs] There’s not really often a lot of call for smuggler crews to like, work together like this. So, you haven’t, you know, you haven’t worked together. So you know them, you know of them.
Josie (as Echo): I see.
Rhi: Yeah. But don’t know them super well.
Josie (as Echo): Then I think we should coordinate.
Rhi (as Benny): It makes sense.
Rhi: Let’s see… where… hmm. Where do we think Sage has— I think what you do know about Everpenny’s crew is that they’ve been around longer than you. They’re a little more established with the Nightcaps, so I think that their lair is closer. Uh, you all are across the city over in Kestrel Heights.
Kim: Yeah.
Rhi: Partly because… oh, huh, well that works.
Josie: Hmm?
Rhi: So, I was just scrolling through my notes here and I guess this came up in the random name generator before, because in my landmarks I have Everpenny’s Clothiers.
Kim: Oh.
Rhi: There’s a tailor. So I guess that’s— yeah, there we go. So I guess that’s their uh [laughs] I guess that’s their lair. God, I like the idea that it’s a, like, it belongs to Sage’s, like, family and they just operate out of the second floor of this tailor shop.
Kim: Yes, that would be so good.
Minna: [laughs]
Rhi: Yeah. Benny says:
Rhi (as Benny): Yeah, feel free to talk to Sage. Coordinate, whatever you need to.
Josie (as Echo): Alright.
Kim (as Val): Sounds good to me.
Aki (as Darling): And what happens— what happens if they fuck up? Do we get penalized for it, too?
Rhi (as Benny): I mean, if they fuck up then nobody gets paid. They’re the ones carrying the goods, so if they fuck up, then I can’t pay you.
Aki (as Darling): Yes, yes.
Rhi (as Benny): So, you do get penalized.
Aki (as Darling): Yes.
Kim (as Val): Let’s hope they don’t fuck up.
Aki (as Darling): This is like a group project.
Rhi (as Benny): It is. But I’m not gonna, like, you know. I’m not gonna blame you for their fuckups. I’m not gonna hold it against you on a personal level, I just won’t have cash to pay you because I won’t have sold the very expensive grudge whisky.
Minna: [laughs]
Aki: The grudge whisky. That’s what it’s named. Grudge Whisky. From love.
Rhi: [laughs]
Aki: From love? With love. There you go.
Rhi: Yeah. [laughs]
Josie: [laughs]
Kim (as Val): Knock on wood, let’s hope they get it done.
Kim: And Val’s gonna knock on the desk as they stand up.
Rhi: Yep.
Josie: [laughs] As we leave the office, Echo says:
Josie (as Echo): Hopefully Benny is not trying to get us caught and in debt again.
Kim (as Val): I don’t think that’s really his intention here. Why would he screw us over?
Josie (as Echo): For more money.
Kim (as Val): I really don’t hope you’re right.
Aki (as Darling): Yes. We’re not exactly the lowest of profiles. So, I mean, I could see it. I wouldn’t agree to it, but I could understand.
Josie (as Echo): Yes. We are a choice for this task.
Rhi: [laughs]
Josie (as Echo): I’m just saying he probably would not cry if we got caught again.
Aki (as Darling): Exactly.
Kim (as Val): I guess not.
Aki (as Darling): We’re also fresh off of a debt, we don’t owe him anything.
Kim (as Val): Let’s just think positively here, people, and we’ll… we’ll do a little bit of self-improvement, huh?
Aki (as Darling): Self-improvement? I don’t need self-improvement, I’m already perfect.
Kim (as Val): No, I’m talking about us, you know, us making less noise so that in the future, going forward, we’re not being selected for jobs like this.
Aki (as Darling): Oh, I see, I see. Yes.
Josie (as Echo): Then how will Darling announce to the world her awesomeness?
Kim (as Val): She can do that off the clock.
Aki (as Darling): I mean, if you say so, sure. Not everybody has a nice, lovely singing job and amazing talent like you have.
Kim (as Val): [grunts]
Aki (as Darling): That’s right. I’m giving you a kindness.
Kim (as Val): I’m just saying— time and place. Time and place. That’s all I’m saying Dar, is time and place.
Aki: I give Val jazz hands.
Rhi: [laughs]
Aki: But like—
[laughter]
Aki: But they’re not like, you know, but they’re not full of like, drama, gusto, you know? There’s no theatre.
Rhi: They’re sarcastic.
Aki: Yeah, they’re like—
Rhi: They’re sarcastic jazz hands.
Aki: Exactly. One hand’s going a little faster than the other. It’s just like— it’s like— it’s like wax on, wax off. You know? [laughs]
Kim: Oh my God.
Rhi and Josie: [laugh]
Josie (as Echo): Think positively. I need to do some math, then.
Kim (as Val): Math? Why do you need to do math to think positively? Just think about puppies or something.
Josie (as Echo): That is also a good choice.
Kim (as Val): Yeah.
Josie (as Echo): I just need to calculate a route, and I am the gay of this group that can do math.
Kim (as Val): [snorts] Well that’s rude.
Rhi: [laughs loudly] Val’s the one who can drive, Echo’s the one who can do math…
[laughter]
Kim: Oh, you’re right.
Minna: Arlene’s the one who knows how to say that she wants to be in a relationship, I guess.
Aki: Yeah!
Rhi: Mm hmm.
Aki: And Darling’s the gay that actually does crimes. Thank you for coming to our TED Talk.
Josie: [laughs]
Rhi: So proud of you all. Um, alright. So guessing you’re gonna go chat with your counterpart, Sage?
Kim: Yeah, sounds like it.
Rhi: I don’t have a whole lot about this person that I just invented five minutes ago, so where do you think that a smuggler who has been working for Benny for a couple years longer than you, who— where do you think— where’s their hangout?
Kim: Do you think it would be some kind of goat or greyhound racing track?
Rhi: Ooh, I like that!
Kim: Yeah. Some kind of creature, it doesn’t have to be dogs, because I know that has some IRL damage, but some kind of like animal race where betting happens.
Rhi: I like that…
Josie: Goat race. Goat race.
Rhi: Yeah, yeah, let’s go with goat racing. I think Robelston, I think, would definitely have like the Akorosian goat track. That’s their vice. They drag you along for them indulging their vice.
Kim: Fantastic.
Josie: [laughs] Do all of us want to go to that, or should that be like a Gather Information for someone?
Rhi: It would basically be a Gather Info roll.
Kim: I personally would like to volunteer for that, because that opens up the opportunity for Val to struggle with their vice possibly.
Rhi: Mm hmm.
Josie: Sweet.
Rhi: But other folks can go along. It doesn’t have to just be Val. But…
Aki: Well I don’t mind two to go and then two to figure out distractions, slash routes and stuff.
Kim: That works for me.
Rhi: That sounds good, yeah. This is gonna be pretty light on the gathering of info, so yeah, maybe Darling and Val go to the goat racing track.
Aki: Send the elders.
Minna: Echo and Arlene plan chaos.
Rhi: Yeah, and then Arlene and Echo can kind of maybe try and figure out a route or location for the distraction.
Kim: Perfect.
Rhi: Yeah. Alright. Yeah, you, you know, I think you can talk to Bailey and she can set up the meeting, but Sage basically Says like, oh yeah, meet me at the race track. So you get there and find Sage. Um, let’s see. They’re wearing, I think, a nice skirt suit sort of set-up, have a nicely trimmed beard, sort of shaved head, like close buzzcut sort of thing. Leaning on the railing, watching the, you know, kinda holding their betting slips as they’re watching the track as the various goats are being brought out for the race to start. Is like:
Rhi (as Sage): Ah, hey Val and uh… Darling. Think we’ve only met a couple times. How’s it going?
Kim (as Val): Uh, same old, same old. You’re looking well.
Aki (as Darling): Swimmingly…
Aki: [laughs] She thinks, she’s like, ‘That’s the correct term’.
Rhi (as Sage): And uh, that’s tiger.
Aki (as Darling): Yes. This is Pearl. Pearl, this is Everpenny.
Aki: And Pearl does Pearl things.
Rhi: [laughs]
Rhi (as Sage): Uh… huh. Okay. Tiger.
Aki (as Darling): Are you allergic to cats or something?
Rhi (as Sage): Nope. Just uh, real big tiger.
Aki (as Darling): Ah, I see. Tis the primal fear. Don’t worry. She’s very well behaved. Until she’s not, but I haven’t had, um, you know, murder yet. Sort of. Murder within recent years. Within the recent months. I’m lying.
Kim (as Val): [hissed] Dar. Dar. I think, I think they got it.
Aki (as Darling): I’m just pulling on one’s toe. Ah, this is fun.
Kim (as Val): [sighs]
Rhi (as Sage): Alright, we’re getting off to a great start here with coordinating the job…
Kim (as Val): Yeah, no. Uh, what’s your crew’s plans, Sage?
Rhi: Give me a roll.
Kim (as Val): Okay. This feels like Consort to me?
Rhi: Yes. And I think for this I’m gonna bump— you’re gonna have greater effect on this, essentially because Sage wants to cooperate with you. Sage also wants to get paid for this job and wants things to go well.
Kim: Right.
Rhi: So the worst that’ll happen is that you’ll get standard info. Basically I’m bumping everything up by one.
Kim: Okay. [shakes and rolls dice] Oh… hmm. Okay, no, we’re good. Yeah. I just need to remember that. I rolled a 5.
Rhi: 5, okay. So that is going to get you great information, because we’re bumping you up a level. So yeah, Sage basically kinda checks the clock and sees that it’s gonna be a bit before the race starts, so will turn away from the track and sits down at a table with the two of you and basically kinda lays out their plan for how they’re going to be getting the whisky. And it sounds like a solid plan. They’ve been scouting, like, this guy’s place for a couple weeks. They’ve mapped out kind of the route of how they’re getting in and out. They actually did a test break-in a few nights ago, just to like see where stuff is and to test security.
Kim: Right.
Rhi: And you know, like, they know that they’re probably… it’s gonna be very hard to get out, like, just because of the security that’s on the whisky collection, it’s gonna be hard to get out without tripping something. But they’re pretty sure, like, they know where stuff is, they’re pretty confident that they can get in, get the stuff and get out before any security shows up.
Kim: Mm hmm.
Rhi: So like, they have a solid plan. Like, as Sage is explaining it, you’re listening and you’re like, ‘Yeah, no, this sounds good.’ [laughs]
Kim: Yep.
Rhi: This is all like, what they’re explaining sounds good. And then they can explain how they’re planning on getting across the city and tell you about how long it takes, like how long they’re anticipating it taking. And so, what they’re gonna be covering is they have to get through Tourmaline Park, Belltower, Portmarch, Veldaire and then into Robelston.
Kim: Okay.
Rhi: Mechanically, this is gonna translate into a 12-tick clock that you’re gonna have to fill. [laughs]
Kim: Oh, okay.
Rhi: That’s what the— yeah. The score is going to be you are going to have to stall long enough to fill a 12-tick clock.
Kim: [sighs] That’s a lot of ticks.
Rhi: Yeah. But remember like, you know, a 6 fills three ticks.
Kim: Okay.
Rhi: So, it’s a lot, but also with some good rolls you can fill it pretty fast.
Kim: Yeah. No, totally.
Rhi: You know, and then the plan is that like, once they get to the station they’re going to have— most of the crew is going to be travelling with the whisky to South Point, but a couple people are gonna stay behind and one of them in gonna send up, uh, they’ve got some fireworks.
Rhi (as Sage): With some stuff we stole on another score that we’ve just kinda had laying around, so we’re just gonna set those off as the signal that we’re done, and that’s when you all can bail.
Kim (as Val): Fireworks. I like it. Very, uh, celebratory.
Rhi (as Sage): Yeah, and y’know, fireworks over Robelston is a normal enough thing. People aren’t gonna get too confused, but there’s not a game going that night, so it won’t— you’ll know what they’re for.
Kim (as Val): Well, sounds like you really thought about this. Very solid.
Rhi (as Sage): Yeah, well uh… given how much money’s on the line.
Kim (as Val): You’re right. Well, let’s uh, I wish you luck and do this right, everybody will get paid.
Rhi (as Sage): Yep. Yeah.
Kim (as Val): I believe in you, Sage.
Rhi (as Sage): … thanks?
Rhi: [laughs] Sage just kind of like was suddenly reminded of the sheer amount of pressure riding on them and is just like, ‘Uhh…’
Kim: Yeah, no, Val—
Rhi: Looks back at the track. [laughs]
Kim: Val kinda does that tap on the arm kinda thing, like you know, ‘You got this, champ,’ kinda gesture.
Rhi: Yeah. So yeah, you get a good amount of info about kinda what their plan is. Seems like a pretty solid plan on their part and you know what their route is.
Kim: Mm hmm.
Rhi: So you can pass that information to Arlene and Echo.
Josie: Yes.
Minna: Hello.
Rhi: So this is basically, this is the path that the other crew is gonna be taking through the city.
Josie: Right.
Rhi: You don’t have to follow this path, this is just so you know where they will be. But you don’t have to follow them, you don’t even have to necessarily be on the move. You could be stationary somewhere and pulling attention. You could be moving elsewhere and pulling attention. It’s totally up to you how you wanna approach it.
Josie: I think…
Rhi: But this is just where they’ll be.
Josie: I think we should make like we have the whisky but go on a different route towards the docks, which would also make sense for getting out of the city.
Minna: Yeah, I could see that.
Josie (as Echo): Maybe we go the opposite direction, through Ivy Ridge and Kestrel Heights, to the docks? Or we could risk going down through Portmarch. That draws a lot of attention, but is also very crowded.
Rhi: Echo dreaming of [laughs] ramp part two.
Minna (as Arlene): [laughs] Yeah, I don’t know. I think we’re spoiled for choice here, there’s so many options.
Josie (as Echo): Is there something notable we could explode on the way?
Minna: [laughs]
Rhi: This would be a good Gather Info roll.
Josie: Yeah. I wanna figure out if there’s like, some lit-up sign or, you know, notable thing that might make a lot of sparks if shot up that we could literally set a flaring so they don’t really have any choice but to think we’re going that way.
Rhi: Yeah.
Minna: I love… I love that this is the strategy.
Josie: It is fun to explode things.
Rhi: You were told to be a distraction. Yeah, so what are you rolling?
Josie: Let’s say Survey?
Rhi: Yeah, that makes sense.
Josie: [rolls dice] Uh, 5?
Rhi: 5, okay. And this is not boosted, this is just back at the regular. So this’ll be standard. I know for sure that if you cut into Belltower, that’s where the city’s theatre district is. And as they say, the lights on Broadway… [laughs] There’s all kinds of big, shiny, lit-up signs on there.
Josie: Uh huh.
Rhi: So if you cut into Belltower, you could definitely draw some attention. So that’s one option. Let me see here, Portmarch… has a lot of… Portmarch, a little bit less so in terms of lights. There— most of what’s in Portmarch is skyscrapers. There’s a lot of glass. So if you wanna go for breaking a lot of windows. Kestrel Heights you know because you live there, doesn’t have a lot of— doesn’t have a lot of that, those kind of landmarks and stuff. Doesn’t have a lot of big things to light up in a dramatic, explosive fashion. And then neither does the docks, really. So I think for that sort of thing, your best bets are gonna be Belltower or— for shooting up big glowing signs, Belltower. If you want to break a lot of glass, Portmarch.
Josie: Okay.
Rhi: If you wanna do both, both. [laughs] You could drive through both districts. You don’t have to choose. You have a car. [laughs]
Josie (as Echo): Okay. And perhaps we should cut over into Belltower, make a show of things, and then haul ass down towards the docks?
Minna (as Arlene): Yeah. I think I just wanna make a big show honestly. Now that that’s on the table.
Rhi: I mean, so there is in Portmarch, there is what’s called the Parade Road, which basic— well, I mean, it goes through Portmarch and Belltower. It basically runs straight from the docks all the way up to the palace. It just punches straight through the heart of the city.
Josie: Yeah, but that’s like Main Street. That seems like a good way to get caught. [laughs]
Rhi: But its also a good way to draw attention, I’m just saying.
Josie: That’s true. [laughs]
Rhi: [laughs] It’s a direct shot from the upper clifftop part of the city down to the docks, and it’s very attention-getting.
Josie: Yeah. Although I think we should take a side road. That would be more believable, I think.
Rhi: [laughs] True. Fair enough.
Josie: [laughs]
Rhi: [laughs] Driving down the Parade Road with a bunch of stolen goods while you’re hanging out the side randomly firing guns is pushing it. So, your plan is to basically leave from the scene of the crime and go Belltower, Portmarch, docks.
Josie: Yeah.
Rhi: Okay. Cool. I like it. It’s a great plan.
Minna: Nothing can possibly go wrong.
Rhi: I do wanna mention that there is going to be— there’s a second part to this. Because in addition to being a distraction, once your comrades here get away, you all have to escape.
Kim: Right.
Josie: Yeah…
Rhi: Um, is there any other info you’d like to gather at this point or do you just wanna get into it?
Kim: Think I just wanna hop into things. I can’t think of anything.
Rhi: Alright.
Aki: Yeah, it’s cause half the plan is technically done for us. It’s just the action.
Rhi: You— yeah. There’s another crew that’s doing the theft, you all are just…
Aki: Really hot and just here.
Rhi: Yeah. Yeah.
Josie: [laughs]
Rhi: [laughs] Alright. So let’s… huh. What kind of score is this? I guess it’s technically a transport score, because you are on the move, you are doing a transport. It’s just… [laughs]
Josie: Yeah. [laughs]
Rhi: Yeah. You’re just not the ones actually doing— you’re not carrying any of the goods. Um, we’ve got your route. I assume you’re taking the Drake?
Kim: Yep.
Aki: No, we’re taking… the… I don’t know, Honda Civic. I don’t fucking know.
Rhi: [laughs]
Josie: [laughs loudly]
Rhi: Well, one of the options for this set-up— it didn’t make sense with how it played out, but in the Hour of Smoke PDF, one of the options was you have to use somebody’s else’s ride in order to sell this. And I thought about it, but it didn’t make sense.
Kim: Right.
Rhi: Alright, what are we thinking in terms of loadout?
Kim: I’m gonna do normal.
Minna: Yeah, that seems… well, we’re in the car, so we could probably do heavy.
Rhi: Yeah, you’re in the car. You can go a little heavier if you like.
Aki: Yeah, I wanna go heavy.
Josie: Yeah.
Aki: Heeheehee…
Josie: Actually, me too. That makes sense.
Aki: Heeheehee.
Kim: I’m gonna stick to my guns.
Rhi: Yeah. Stick with normal?
Kim: Yeah.
Rhi: So we’ve got Val with normal, is everybody else goin’ heavy?
Josie: Uh huh.
Aki: Yup.
Rhi: Okay.
Aki: Heh heh heh…
Minna: [laughs]
Kim: Great start. Off to a great start.
Rhi: Alright, let’s do our engagement roll. So you get one for luck. Is this operation particularly bold or daring?
Aki: Yeah.
Minna: Hell yeah.
Kim: Yeah.
Rhi: It’s not really overly complex. You’ve got a pretty straightforward plan here. So this is gonna be a 2d6 engagement roll. So here we go. [rolls dice] The result is a 4. So you’re gonna be in a risky position when the action starts, which feels appropriate. So, I think we see this big, beautiful manor in Tourmaline Park. And we see the Drake, like, parked across the street with all of you crammed in. Did Darling bring Pearl on this one?
Aki: Oh… hmm. I don’t think so, I think we need the space and Pearl can always come and find us again should we like, you know, really really fuck up.
Rhi: Yeah.
Aki: So Pearl has been left on the fire escape of our home.
Rhi: [laughs]
Aki: With like, the giant elephant plush so she’s not lonely.
Josie: Aww!
Rhi: [laughs] So, the four of you are sitting in the car, just kind of watching this house. You’ve probably been hanging out here for 30, 40 minutes. And you can see, parked a little bit parked down the block is a— we’re just gonna say a delivery truck that you know is being driven by, uh, somebody in Sage’s crew. It has also been parked here for a while. And as you’re sitting here, you hear from this manor house some alarms start to go off, and a few minutes later you see some guards running towards the house. And then a few minutes later after that, you see a group of people hustling out of the house with, you know, carrying or pushing on carts some large crates. They run for the delivery truck, pile into the back, and it doesn’t peel out, it just carefully and slowly drives away. And the alarms continue to peal from inside the house and you all just sit there. I think like, Val, you’re fighting every instinct. [laughs] Your well-honed criminal instincts of, ‘There are alarms, I should be driving away at top speed’.
Kim: Yup.
Rhi: You just, you sit there and you wait and you start to hear the Bluecoat sirens approaching. And you keep waiting, you sit there and you wait until the first Bluecoat car swings around the corner and the lights light up in your rear-view mirror. And that’s when you floor it.
Kim: Yup.
Rhi: [laughs]
Josie: [laughs]
Rhi: So let’s get our first roll! You have, uh, [laughs] because you are the distraction, so you have— the Bluecoats have arrived on the scene of this crime, they have seen you peeling out away from the scene of the crime.
Kim: So I’m making a Finesse roll to drive us out of here?
Rhi: Yep. [laughs]
Kim: Here we go. Alright. What’s the uh, the ratings?
Rhi: Uh, it is gonna be risky and let me look at the Drake real quick… risky, standard.
Kim: Okay. [shakes and rolls dice] Mm. I rolled a 4 as my highest.
Rhi: Okay. That’s— listen. You do it with a consequence.
Kim: And that’s what I’m afraid of! I don’t like the consequences.
Josie: [laughs] Who does like consequences?
Josie and Rhi: Minna.
Josie: Apparently.
Minna: [laughs]
[laughter]
Rhi: Minna loves them.
Kim: Minna, I did this for you.
Aki: You didn’t even breathe! You just went, “Minna.”
Josie: [laughs]
Rhi: Yeah, no, no hesitation. [laughs]
Minna: I mean, it’s not like I wasn’t getting ready to claim that myself. [laughs]
[laughter]
Rhi: Josie and I jumped on it first.
Kim: Listen, I—
Rhi: We were just like, no, we know.
Kim: I like my 5s and 6s. 4s I know they’re technically—
Rhi: 5 is the exact— 5 is the exact same as a 4!
Kim: 4 feels worse. [laughs]
[laughter]
Rhi: 4 and 5 are identical results.
Kim: But the 4 is lower than 5!
Rhi: Oh my God. [laughs] Alright, you do it but there’s a consequence.
Kim: [groans]
Rhi: I think the ‘you do it’ here is I’m gonna put one tick on our clock. So the clock is on 1 out of 12.
Kim: Okay.
Rhi: Because ultimately that’s what you’re trying to do, is you’re trying to fill up this clock. That’s kinda the first part of this score. But the consequence is… I think I’m just gonna say desperate position. Another one, another Bluecoat vehicle comes around the other end of the street. They’ve got you boxed in.
Minna: Do we have like, extra explosives?
Kim: Are we gonna blow up a—
Rhi: You’ve got a whole— you’ve got a whole big inventory of goodies.
Minna: We could blow up one of the Bluecoat cars. I could slip out the top of our car and hop over.
Kim: That… would be a distraction.
Minna: Mm hmm!
Aki: You could do that. Or… or you let me pull out my baby.
Josie: Minna’s plan could work if we were in motion. They have us boxed in, so whichever way we go, we hit a car—
Kim: It’d work—
Minna: Yeah, I— it would work if we were not— my brain is…
Rhi: No, no, no you guys— you are driving. Its basically, so, you’re on a long street. You’re not boxed in like they’re blocking you totally. You’re on a street, there’s a Bluecoat car at one end of the street, there’s a Bluecoat at the other end of the street, you guys are kind of in the middle.
Minna: Oh, so we’re gonna run into one and there’s one behind us.
Rhi: Yes, regardless of which direction, yeah, eventually, regardless of which direction you drive, you are gonna hit a Bluecoat vehicle. So, you could throw a bomb at one of them. You could shoot at one of them. You could just ram ‘em. [laughs] There’s a lot of options available to you here. But yeah, you are in motion, you do have some space to work with right now. So.
Josie: What is Darling’s baby?
Aki: [giggles]
Minna: [intrigued]
Aki: You better have watched something called Arcane or played something called League of Legends.
Josie: Uh huh…
Kim: I have watched Arcane.
Aki: So Jinx has a tom— has a nice big tommy gun. And I would like to be my baby.
Minna: [gasps] Oh.
Josie: Baby… gun [to tune of baby shark song] doot doot, doot doot, baby gun, doot doot…
[laughter]
Kim: Oh boy.
Rhi: Are you gonna mark that as uh…
Aki: As a part of my gear, yes. That’s why I took the big one. Now it’s time. [cackles]
Rhi: Yeah. I think that would constitute a large weapon.
Aki: So yeah, I mean, that is a way we could, you know, get them to move out of the way. Because I don’t think people are too thrilled about several bullets, you know?
Kim: Eh, they’ll be fine.
Rhi: I mean. Yeah. [pause] Oh…
Kim: It’s very big.
Rhi: I see…
Aki: I could have a smaller version of it, but it’s nice.
Rhi: Yeah, that’s— okay. That’s not a tommy gun.
Kim: That’s a bazooka.
Rhi: That— no, that’s a… um… I mean, that’s just a machine gun. Minigun, minigun, that’s what it’s called. That’s— tommy gun is something very different.
Aki: I know! [giggles]
Rhi: But I’m fine with you having this, because it’s cool.
Josie: [laughs] And this is the exact sort of image we want for this game’s aesthetic.
Kim: True.
Rhi: Mm hmm, mm hmm. Yeah.
Josie: Hot dragon lady mows down cops with machine gun.
Kim: Yup.
Aki: Mm hmm.
Rhi: Yeah.
Aki: To quote another red demon-looking monster, “It’s the big baby.”
Rhi: Yeah, [laughs] Um yeah, so go ahead and give me a roll. This is gonna be desperate, so mark XP.
Aki: Ooh, ooh, where do I want it? Where do I want it?
Rhi: Well, it has to go in the skill—
Aki: Oh, it—
Rhi: It has to go with whatever you’re rolling, yeah.
Aki: Awesome. So I can get extra dice if I really wanted to.
Josie: I mean, Hunt is usually firearms.
Rhi: Yeah. Yeah, if you’re doing Hunt, you would put it in the Hunt.
Josie: But I could also see it being Wreck. [laughs] Cause you’re just going ham on them.
Rhi: Yeah.
Aki: Nice, nice, nice. Um… you tell me, cause it’s gonna matter what you give me.
Rhi: Probably… I’m gonna say this is— again… let me look at the description of Hunt, because Hunt I think implies a certain level of precision that is not happening here.
Aki: I have distributed all my XP out in such a way that like, this session I was gonna get a bunch of dice. Yeah. [giggles]
Josie: [laughs]
Rhi: Yeah, so here’s the thing. Hunt says “You might attack with precision, shooting from a distance.” What you have described to me…
Minna: [laughs]
Rhi: Ain’t precise.
Minna: [laughs]
Aki: [giggles]
Rhi: I think I’d allow Wreck, but I don’t think this is Hunt. [laughs] Unfortunately.
Aki: What does Wreck normally do?
Rhi: Wreck is, yeah, you’re just wrecking shit. It is just wanton violence.
Minna: [laughs]
Aki: Okay, I’m gonna use this XP you’ve given me to put a die in Wreck.
Rhi: Okay. [laughs] So you’re gonna just— okay. I’ll allow it, sure.
Aki: [laughs] Cause I was gonna level up!
Rhi: Alright. So yeah, this is gonna be desperate. You’re rolling Wreck. I’m gonna say standard effect. Do you wanna push yourself, Devil’s Bargain, get help?
Aki: How much stress do I have? Oh, I can push myself.
Rhi: Okay. Does anybody want to assist?
Kim: I think I— it makes sense for me to assist. Maybe I—
Rhi: Yeah. [laughs] Driving carefully while Darling halfway climbs out of the car.
Aki: [laughs]
Rhi: Alright.
Aki: Okay. So if I push myself, that’s…
Rhi: You get one.
Aki: How many stress do I mark for that, though? Two? Yeah.
Rhi: Two. You mark two and then you’re getting one extra die from pushing yourself, one extra die from Val. So you’re gonna be rolling 3d6 Wreck, desperate, standard.
Aki: [laughs] You wanna picture?
Minna: What’d you roll?
Aki: You wanna picture? [laughs]
Rhi: What’d you get? What’d did you get, you absolute monster?
Aki: Let me, let me take a picture. I actually think I need to take a picture in this case, cause it— it’s quite fun. It’s very fun and I think this’ll make or break our day. Let’s see what happens.
Rhi: She got like three 6s.
Josie: [laughs]
Kim: Oh.
Rhi: You got three fucking 6s, are you kidding me?
Minna: Oh my God, you critted it!
Josie: Wow…
Kim: Oh my God.
Rhi: Aki, are you kidding me?
Aki: [giggles]
Kim: Jesus. Christ.
Rhi: Oh my God…
Aki: Do we finish— do we—[laughs]
Rhi: No!
Kim: You fucking obliterate it.
Josie: So, the three 6s are she just levelled up Wreck, is getting help and is also pushing herself?
Rhi: Yeah.
Josie: Okay. [laughs]
Minna: [laughs] Yeah, so Aki that’s a crit.
Rhi: Yeah. So… okay. [sighs] Describe how— I mean… this…
Aki: [laughs] You need a second?
Rhi: I just…
Minna: [laughs loudly]
Josie: [laughs]
Rhi: Describe what this looks like, because you’re in a vehicle, driving towards a Bluecoat car. How does this look as Darling, you know, pulls this gun out and opens fire? I’m gonna tell you, it is going to end with this Bluecoat car going up in a fireball, so tells me how it looks leading up to that.
Minna: [laughs]
Aki: Okay. How— how ridiculous can this description be?
Rhi: Yes.
Aki: Okay.
Minna: [laughs]
Aki: So, we have a roof on our car, yeah?
Rhi: Uh, it can be taken down.
Aki: Oh it can? Okay, well then it makes more sense for it to, you know, open it. Because if not, I was gonna climb on the roof and I’m a heavy gal. So… [laughs] roof unveils. Dragon lady also unveils. More like stands up.
Minna: [laughs]
Aki: Put one foot up where I shouldn’t, aka, the driver’s seat. It’s very unsafe, a very strong turn is not great. But that’s okay, because I’m not thinking and I have confidence. And if that isn’t pretty privilege, I don’t know what is. And so, I will the pull out my giant little machine gun, the big baby, you know? Nice and big. It’s heavy, it makes a lot of sounds. A lot of chonks, a lot of thunks, you know?
Kim: Yes.
Aki: And then I simply proceed to give everyone in this car tinnitus by um, [laughs] unloading just in front of us.
Josie: [laughs]
Aki: I hold it up like high enough so I’m not shooting in between the two people in the front seat, you know? So like, it’s not horrible. But it’s still like, tinnitus. And all the while, tail wagging. I’m like… [cackles loudly] you know? Just going nuts. Mass destruction.
Josie (as Echo): I am glad I do not have eardrums anymore.
Aki: [laughs]
Rhi: [laughs]
Minna (as Arlene): Nobody can hear you.
Josie and Minna: [laughs]
Rhi: And the bullets rip into this cop car, it flips, blows up in a fireball, uh… ACAB.
Josie: [laughs]
Rhi: And—
Aki: Is it—
Minna: All Cops Are Bacon.
Aki: If I crit, does that mean that the cops inside survive, they just jump out?
Josie: I mean, I think it’s up to you, whether you want them alive or dead.
Aki: I mean ACAB, but also when they die then more ghost people get involved and I don’t think we need that.
Josie: Mm hmm.
Aki: Like… I mean, we could. I could pack ectoplasma bullets.
Rhi: They survive, but they will be incapacitated and no longer able to do their jobs as police officers.
Minna: Yes, they’re movie knocked down.
Aki: [laughs]
Rhi: Well no, I mean they’re injured in such a way that they’re no longer gonna be able to work as cops.
Minna: Oh, I see.
Rhi: They have been removed from the police force permanently.
Josie: [laughs]
Rhi: But they aren’t ghosts who are gonna cause you problems. The ideal solution.
Josie: [laughs]
Aki: Mm hmm. If anything, they should be thanking me.
Rhi: Yes, they should. Uh, [laughs] and the Drake speeds on down the street and I think that gets you enough coverage to get out of Tourmaline Park entirely.
## Outro [00.51.35]
Thanks for joining us! The Whisky Jays will return in two weeks. The City That Never Dies is a Clever Corvids production. Visit our website at CleverCorvids.net and follow us on Twitter @clever_corvids for the latest on this and other shows.
The City That Never Dies is GM’d and edited by Rhi. Check out her business Skill Check for copyediting and accessibility consulting for the RPG community at RPGSkillCheck.net.
Arlene Graeme is played by Minna Reilly. Find her on Twitter @mynaminnarr.
Darling Tsering is played by Aki. Find her on Twitter @akinomii_art for more TTRPG Content.
Echo is played by Josie. Find her on Twitter @dragongirljosie, and check out her art at josie-art.com.
Valerie Sullivan is played by Kim. Find her on Twitter @kimdianajones.
Our opening and closing theme music is from Something by Kai Engel and is used under a Creative Commons license. Blades in the Dark is the creation of John Harper and is published by Evil Hat Productions.
Rhi: If you’d like to dedicate a personal message to a friend, family member, gaming group, or other special Clever Corvids fan in your life, you can do so right here! Visit clevercorvids.net and click on Jumbotron Messages under the Support Us menu to buy your very own message. As always, thanks to all our Patreon backers, whose ongoing support makes this show possible.
## Blooper [00.53.28]
Rhi: Aki’s over here finally getting to take out the tommy gun.
Aki: Yeah. [giggles]
Rhi: It’s time. It’s time.
Aki: It is! So many casualties… [laughs]
Rhi: Oh God…
Josie: Mm…
Rhi: Oh God! [laughs]
Aki: [laughs]