Transcribed by Chloe Hendry.
Rhi: Welcome back to Ilrien. As always, thank you so much for joining us. If you’re enjoying this mini-series, be sure to check out Court of Blades over on A Couple of Drakes website for your own games of intrigue, drama, and romance. And check out our other shows: The City That Never Dies and Love and Hellfire, both of which can be found on clevercorvids.net.
Next, Josie is going to tell us about this month’s featured charity.
Josie: Fund Texas Choice is a non-profit organization dedicated to travel and funds for that travel to Texans seeking abortions, even going so far as to help them travel out of state. If you’re listening to this, we just did a whole big livestream to raise money for Fund Texas Choice, but that doesn’t mean you can’t donate. And especially in the coming times, fuck SCOTUS, lots of people in lots of places are gonna need this help. Everyone who can get abortions is entitled to them, for any reason, fuck anyone who tells you otherwise, and we at Clever Corvids believe strongly in affordable healthcare for all of any sort.
Rhi: Continue to advocate for reproductive and trans-inclusive healthcare wherever you are, as much as you’re able. It’s one of many rights at stake in the world today, and we have to keep fighting for it.
Now then. Let’s get started, shall we?
## Story begins [00:01:45]
Josie: But I think to that answer she just nods, and then draws her sword and charges it with void energy.
Drake: Awesome! Alright, so, you’re pushing yourself to be able to cut through stone like butter?
Josie: Yeah!
Drake: Awesome!
Rhii: I’m just looking real quick because I know House Battalia, we have a special ability to prepare for battle. Okay, just real quick, because I feel like this is relevant: choose your ground. When you prepare for battle – which I feel like we’re doing – you may pay one influence for each of the following: the ground does not allow for ambush, you are difficult to reach, you are surrounded by friends. I don’t know if we wanna do any of those.
Josie: I mean, we’re starting already in a very good position.
Rhi: Yeah.
Navi: Being surrounded by friends never hurts.
Josie: I was thinking does not allow for ambush.
Rhi: Yeah, yeah, I was gonna say, setting ourselves up to not have- Yeah, we can’t be flanked.
Paulomi: Yeah, I’m down for that.
Rhi: That would be cool.
Paulomi: Nobody expected us to come here during the explosion, they expected all of the city’s, like, forces to congregate where the explosion was.
Drake: Yeah, eyes are absolutely on the other side of town.
Rhi: Yeah. Yeah.
Paulomii: Yeah.
Rhi: Yeah, so, maybe spending one influence out of our coterie, just to ensure that nobody gets up behind us.
Drake: Yeah, for sure.
Rhii: Might not be a bad idea.
Paulomi: We can do that. Let’s do it.
Rhi: No flanking. None.
Drake: So in this, you know, old bones of the old city, with the smell of damp and night air in your noses, hearing the sound and the struggle and the hard work going on on the other side, Inanna charges her blade with void energy. Are we cutting through this thing into battle, or what’re you thinking here?
Josie: Yeah.
Drake: Awesome.
Josie: Let’s do it.
Drake: Cool. I think this is a roll, it’s controlled but I think it’s greater.
Josie: Okay. I’m gonna make a case for skirmish, because I’m not trying to fuck things up, I just wanna make a clean cut.
Drake: That makes sense.
Rhi: We’re about to ruin these people’s whole careers.
Paulomi: We really are. We’re just gonna ruin somebody’s day today.
Josie: I got a 6.
Drake: Yeah, turns out a 6 does things. I’m not allowed to play as long as you guys roll 6s. So, what does this void blade look like when it actually cuts through the masonry? I think we’ve only seen it kill people so far.
Paulomi: Only.
Josie: Yeah, when she charges it, it’s already a black balde, but it starts to steam, but the steam is cold and shadowy.
Drake: Oh no.
Paulomi: Ooh.
Josie: So I think she just puts both hands on it, takes a sturdy stance, raises it in front of her, and makes one clean, vertical cut down. It’s definitely the thing where you see the blade cut and pass through first, a split second before the effects happen.
Rhi: Yes!
Drake: You are already dead!
Josie: [quoting in Japanese]
Drake: Awesome, so, yeah, the void blade slices through this old, mortarless stone wall that’s probably been here longer than living memory, and I don’t think, like, it makes sound until, like, rocks begin to fall back in, like, your direction, right? Like the wall collapses in on itself in a nice, controlled implosion, just like you knew it would. As soon as that happens, like, there’s dust and there’s grit and there’s basically the small cave-in, the localised cave-in that you have created has granted you entrance to the basement of the palace of the first prince. And there’s about a dozen individuals that you see through, kind of, the smoke and the grit that are manoeuvring these large boxes into position, but they all kind of, like, drop them and, like, turn. You can see that there’s, like, surprise, like, written large on their body language. And then, like outrage.
Navi: Are any of them blue devils or are these just chill nobodies?
Paulomi: Yeah, do I see my best friend?
Drake: Right now, like, mostly you’re seeing silhouettes ‘cause a lot of things are, kind of, happening all at once.
Paulomi: A lot of dust kicked up in the air.
Drake: You can take a second and probably survey here, or maybe, like, you know, call out or something like that, in the fiction here, and, like, figure out who’s on the other side of this wall you just kicked down, or you could continue on with, like, the planned list of action. ‘Cause you got the drop on them. Yeah. What do you wanna do?
Josie: I mean, Inanna is just riding in.
Drake: Awesome.
Rhi: Yeah.
Drake: Just Darth Vadering in there.
Josie: Yep.
Drake: I am surrounded by fear and dead men.
Navi: I’ll do a quick survey, like, just a super quick scan.
Paulomi: That is what she’s doing, though, is the thing.
Drake: That’ll be a controlled standard for a survey.
Paulomi: Innana is essentially Darth Vader.
Rhi: It’s very cool.
Paulomi: It’s extremely cool, yes.
Josie: Yay!
Drake: So, like, from behind-
Josie: I’m just being an edgy nerd and people think it’s cool.
Navi: Yeah, yeah, yeah. It’s terrifying, and so nobody wants to question it.
Drake: Luciana is looking through the smoke behind Inanna as she is striding in, and it is clear that these are not, like, servants of the first prince, they’re not in trusted Corvetto colors or anything like that, they’re not workmen, but you don’t think they’re blue devils either. They don’t seem to be masked or anything like that, but they are armed, and they are kind of as one turning and, you know, readying weapons and a couple of them have drawn pistols. There are three of them that have reached won into their belt and are actively lining up shots on our Darth Vader.
Rhi: I think I’ve got this new blade, and I think the minute – I’ve got this new blade, I’ve got knives, and I’ve also got a pistol – I think the minute they draw pistols I am also drawing pistols, and I am- You’re saying we can’t really see who’s who, correct?
Drake: It’s difficult, I would say that it’s probably risky, shooting into the smoke and not knowing exactly who your target is.
Rhi: I’d like to see if I can figure out who is here so I can target the most important person.
Drake: Well, I’ll tell you what you can do here. You could probably push yourself for position here, if you wanted to take a second, get the lay of the land, maybe open the door for consequence here.
Rhi: I love it, let’s do it.
Drake: Yep, so, go ahead and mark 2 stress and then you can have a controlled standard shot here.
Rhi: Okay. and I get to use an action, correct?
Drake: You do, correct.
Rhi: Okay.
Drake: Which-
Rhi: Okay, alright, it’s survey.
Drake: Are you surveying here?
Rhi: I mean, yes. I feel like I need to take a pause, see who is here, try to see identifying markers. Like, I’m seeing them in, like, backlit, there might be candles and lamps, kind of, further into the room, but because we’ve just cut through a wall we’re kind of at a disadvantage, it’s all-
Drake: It’s a weird situation.
Rhi: Kind of, outlines.
Drake: Like, not a lot of people find themselves there.
Rhi: Yeah, it’s an odd situation. But my position here is controlled, my fact is standard, am I taking a pushing die to this?
Drake: You are pushing for- You know, I asked you if you wanted to push for a fact, I thought you were going to be shooting into this thing, not wanting to take a second to figure this out. It’s controlled, standard, a survey as it is right now. You don’t need to push yourself for a controlled standard because Luciana just rolled one of those.
Rhi: Oh, oh, oh, okay, I see what you’re saying. So Luciana just did that. Okay, then yes, I’m gonna be rolling wreck instead.
Drake: Wreck, that’s one you can push yourself for for a controlled position here.
Rhi: We’re firing shots, folks!
Drake: Shots fired, shots fired.
Rhi: Controlled, okay. Standard, no bonus die.
Drake: Dang, it’s hot! Okay. So-
Rhi: It’s hot, it’s spicy.
Drake: So not only do you have an extra shot too, right, what you’ve done here is: the guy who was holding, like, the trigger mechanism for these things, like, he’s down. I think, like, your shot goes off and, like, he had like a little acne plunger thing that was going to set, like, the first in a chain of charges off, or at least start the timer here, and he’s down.
Rhi: Yep.
Drake: So that’s not happening anymore.
Rhi: Nice. Oh, I love that. Like, pistols are drawn, I fire, he’s down. It’s just a quick two second thing.
Drake: No, there’s not even really time to register because, you know-
Rhi: Yeah.
Drake: It’s so fast.
Rhi: Yeah. I would like to, kind of- I had an idea for what I was gonna do, this changes it slightly. I would like to, kind of, using the cover of the dust that;s still in the air, I’d like to, kind of, sneak across the – if I can – ensuing battle field, and just, I would just like to grab that trigger mechanism in my hot little hands. I would like to get control of the device that will set off the explosives if you please.
Drake: Right, I am gonna tell you that crossing an active battlefield, trying to be sneaky stealthy, during what is about to become a pitched fire fight here in these close, cramped tunnels, I’m gonna say you’re gonna start desperate-
Rhi: Oh, yeah.
Drake: I’m also gonna say you’re gonna start limited.
Rhi: Ooh, okay.
Drake: There are eleven of them. They are watching the entrance as you’re gonna be coming through.
Rhi: Okay. Okay. Yeah, I didn’t realise there were that many.
Navi: I mean, we can cover you.
Drake: You can get an assist from your friends, you can push yourself, there’s-
Rhi: I mean, I’m definitely pushing myself.
Navi: I want to assist.
Drake: How are you going to assist?
Navi: So I’m going to go ahead and thread the weave to make channelling in the area extremely potent.
Drake: Oh no.
Navi: And then I’m gonna channel- As soon as I see, like, there’s no time for communication, right, because, like, she’s already in motion, I know what’s happening, so, like, it’s a really quick thing. I’m going to run the weave, and then I’m going to make magic super potent and I’m going to channel the space around her to basically just bend so that ahy bullets that try to, like, go into her bubble end up getting deflected around.
Drake: Okay.
Navi: Like, I actively want to change the gravity around her.
Drake: Okay, that’s super cool. Threading the weave is, obviously, going to be a push, right? I can let you have that, I’m gonna say that there is an element of risk to it.
Navi: There’s always an element of risk.
Drake: Okay. I’m gonna say that you are going to be risky, I think that I can- This is almost like a setup action, right?
Navi: Okay, I can use it as a setup.
Drake: Yeah. ‘Cause an assist, you just say how you’re doing it and then do the thing. If you wanna make this, like, so I can’t hurt Alessa, sorry. If you wanna make this so I can’t hurt Alessa I think this is a setup action. Risky and standard.
Navi: So risky, standard, I’m pushing myself for an extra die. I think given how intense the situation is, because I did a survey, so I knew how many people were there, right, so how about I check off my fine arcane focus to give myself better effect.
Drake: Better effect? Okay.
Navi: Standard, great, great. Bonus die. So, here we go!
(‘ooh’s and ‘oh no’s from everyone)
Rhi: Oh. That’s a 3. Wow. The duality here, too, like-
Drake: So, clearly threading the weave makes things a little hinky, right? When you thread-
Navi: This is going to be really bad.
Drake: When you thread the weave your channelling makes it really potent. So I think what you’ve done here is you’ve gotten what you wanted, but you’ve also gotten a little bit more than you wanted. So Alessa has space bent around her, but you’ve also created a bullet vortex. So they’re all going to be coming straight at you if they fire.
Navi: Okay.
Drake: So, all guns discharged now go directly towards Luciana. Unless you’d like to resist.
Navi: I will-
Josie: I mean, resisting it now might be better than trying to resist the bullets.
Navi: I don’t know, but resisting the bullets could be really cool.
Paulomi: Yeah, the phrase bullet vortex is never something you want to hear.
Rhi: Yup, that’s a rough one.
Navi: Okay, I don’t know. I feel like resisting the first bullet barrage could potentially be really cool.
Rhi: Yeah, no, I mean, you’re right.
Navi: I think that’s what I wanna do.
Drake: Okay.
Rhi: This is gonna be so bad.
Drake: I’ll tell you what, Alessa, you have that extra die from the setup action.
Rhi: Okay.
Drake: Actually, I think what this gets you is desperate standard.
Rhi: Okay, awesome. So, desperate standard, I’m pushing myself to get an extra die, I’ve marked my extra xp because it’s desperate, I’ll use skulk, and here we go.
Drake: I believe in you.
Rhi: Thank you. Oh! That’s a 6!
(everyone whoops)
Drake: That’s a 6, excellent. Okay, so-
Rhi: Oh, I am sorry future me, I just lew the fuck out of my mic.
Drake: I got a question.
Rhi: Yeah.
Drake: So, when Lucy does this reality bending around you, does it look like reality’s bet around you to you?
Rhi: Ooh, good question. Initially I don’t think that I notice. I think Alessa is so focused on just, like, making this desperate scramble, like, staying really low to the floor, getting across before- Like, just knowing that she has bare seconds to get there and grab this detonator before somebody else scoops it up, before the shots start ringing out.
Drake: Oh, yeah.
Rhi: And then she grabs it, and I think it’s when she, kind of, you know, turns to start running back that she notices that- I think it’s kind of like- I’m picturing that it has sort of, like, oil slick sort of quality to it, like there’s a soap bubble made of, like, that kind of rainbow film when there’s, like, oil or gas on top of water on the street.
Drake: Yeah, like that weird, like, iridescence to it, right?
Rhi: Yeah, yeah, but not in a, like, you know, pretty, I’m blowing bubbles in the backyard sort of way.
Drake: No. Slick and greasy.
Rhi: ‘Cause the vibe that I’ve gotten from the way that, Navi, you’ve been describing the fae in this game is that they’re very off (laughs) It’s very unseelie. And so I think it’s just, like, everything is sort of refracted, and has this, kind of, rainbow iridescence to it.
Drake: So like all the fae, beautiful but off putting.
Rhi: Yeah. And so Alessa’s just, kind of, like, okay. And I think for a second is just like, uh, do I need to be panicking right now? But then I think Lucy is the only thing that is clearly visible, that is not distorted by this.
Drake: Yeah, shining like a beacon.
Rhi: Yeah, and she’s just like oh, okay, Lucy’s doing some weird magic shit, okay. And then just fucking sprints. And, I think, does just, like, a desperate slide and roll, and I think, kind of crashes, probably at, like, well to feed into this bullet vortex content, probably at Lucy’s feet. So-
Drake: Nice.
Rhi: Any bullets that were following me are gonna end up at Lucy.
Drake: Yeah, you know, the frightening part is that, like, everybody’s mostly pointed at Darth Vader right now. Inanna came through here like a battle titan, and like, most of the guns swung that way. But as soon as the first one fires, like, the ball curves so Aurelia, Inanna, you’re both, like, at that gap, right, in the wall that we just clove through, right? I think, like, the first telltale rapport is Aurelia’s, but there’s an answering sabbo that is in the midst of being fired, what do you guys wanna do?
Josie: I think Inanna’s just gonna charge on in there and try and take out the guns one by one.
Rhi: Yeah.
Josie: She just wants to charge forward and try to take each gun off at the chamber, but if she takes the hand with it, that’s fine.
Rhi: Listen: little of column A, little of column B, you can’t make an omelette without taking a few hands.
Josie: I’ve got a hunger only severed hands can satisfy.
Drake: Carl! That kills people!
Josie: That doesn’t sound like me. That’s something I never do.
Drake: Okay, yeah, if you’re planning to go in there and start lightsabering through blasters, yeah, that makes sense. And I think right now with the void blade up and everything you have fictional positioning to do that. I mean, folks are spread out, it’s gonna be, I think I’ll give you risky and limited here, but the danger’s not to you.
Josie: Right. I do get +1 effects from void blade when engaging a foe.
Drake: Mmhm, that’s giving you limited here.
Josie: Ah jeez. Okay. What does a devil’s bargain look like?
Rhi: Lady’s favour.
Josie: Lady’s favour, sorry.
Drake: The lady’s favour here- Hmm. I think the lady’s favour here is that they had a knack on their side.
(everyone ‘ooh’s)
Josie: I think that’s fun. Let’s give some more fun stuff to Lucy. That’ll be fun. I’ll take that devil’s bargain to increase to standard effect.
Drake: Now the knackery is at an all time high, it’s gonna be real fun.
Josie: Uh huh.
Drake: Excellent. So you have extra effect here , which gives you risky standard.
Josie: Can I mark things- Mark off items in order to boost my roll somehow?
Drake: That is absolutely something you can do. That can give you- If you tell me how it works and how it’s bettering your position you get that position, if you tell me how it’s bettering your effect you get that effect.
Josie: Okay. This actually might be better to use to resist consequences.
Drake: That’s interesting, I like that.
Josie: Okay, so, one of the items on my sheet is- The Curse gets some weird ones!
Drake: Yep.
Josie: One of them is a prophetic dream.
(everyone ‘oh’s)
Josie: And I was thinking about how to use that offensively, to, like, predict where they’re shooting and, kind of, plot my course out before hand, and what I had envisioned was her remembering a situation just like this on an ancient battle field, but with, like, crossbows.
Drake: Oh, yeah.
Josie: So she’s just gonna follow that same path to try and-
Navi: That’s so cool.
Josie: Try and get through.
Drake: Tell me who you were defending in this dream and I’ll give you the greater effect for it.
Josie: I think in this vision that she snaps back to as she’s doing this, this is during the rebellion, seven hundred something years ago, the battle has, it is long since given up any pretence of, like, tactics or staying power, both sides have just, kind of, shattered, all this weird magic has happened, and now it’s just isolated, desperate battles. And I think the leader of the rebellion, the founder of the city, and my liege is who I’m defending in this instance. I think all our positions fell apart and we’re trying to make our way back to our side and I’m ranging ahead, trying to take out all her enemies.
Drake: Wow. Oh, I love that. Yes, go, please take the greater effect.
Josie: And I definitely have edgy, sleek, black armour in this flashback.
Drake: Course you do. Hundred percent.
Josie: Okay, so I think want to use that to improve effect again.
Drake: Do it.
Josie: I want to get up to greater.
Drake: You got it.
Josie: Okay. But that means I can’t increase my roll in any way.
Drake: Correct.
Josie: (laughs)
Drake: Is that good laughing or bad laughing?
Josie: It’s a good laugh, it’s a 6.
Drake: Yeah! Okay, so, I don’t even get to choose- Tell me, like, is it just a one sweeping arc, or are you just everywhere, all at once?
Josie: I think it’s, for her it’s almost a little slow motion, and as she snaps back to this vision she outright closes her eyes. It’s sort of like she’s already moving past the person she just cut the gun of, not that she’s moving that fast, just she’s already thinking what comes after, so each slice is just, sort of, a casual side swipe thing as she’ll just take a gentle pivot around each person. And it’s kind of, it’s not one clean arc, it’s more like a snake weaving-
Drake: Oh man, I love that.
Josie: Through, and then pouncing and then weaving and then pouncing and then weaving.
Drake: Just like wind among your foes.
Josie: Yeah.
Drake: Love that.
Josie: I know this was supposed to be a game of, like, courtly intrigue and shit but you made the coolest edgy shit that I’m about.
Drake: Look, we chose, like, the fighting house, we’re gonna do some fighting here.
Rhi: Yeah.
Drake: So, yeah, guns are no longer a problem. The Knack over there, who’s making Knack sounds, that has turned into the problem. And at this point, like, there is this kind of back of your teeth hum, right, and you feel almost like there’s an electricity in the air, almost as if there is a storm brewing and you’re right under it. Like, you feel almost as if your hair might be standing on end as this Knack towards the back is, you know, incanting.
Josie: (sings) And the Knack in the back said hey everyone attack, I’m gonna turn into a ballroom blaze.
(everyone laughs)
Rhi: Incredible.
Drake: That was good. So, there’s a blue devil standing next to the Knack, the only one who;s currently wearing a mask, and his, kind of, upswept laughing blue eyes are focused on Aurelia. He’s already got a sword out of the scabbard, kind of, guarding this Knack as the incantation is coming to a close. And I think-
Paulomi: Lock eyes from across the room.
Drake: I think the Knack is pointing, like, an open hand in the direction of Inanna, and a word of unmaking is on his lips, and Aurelia you’ve got a choice. You can do something about the Knack, or you can do something about Maestro, but right now in this moment there’s bad news coming for someone.
Paulomi: Hang on-
Josie: I can take it.
Paulomi: So here’s my question: if I don’t go for Maestro, does it look like he’s going to go for someone else?
Drake: It does. But it’s not someone, it’s something. So, he’s got a hand out and he is reaching for, like, it’s a length of slow match. And it looks like he is going to use, like, the back up detonation device here, right? Start of the process.
Paulomi: Is it truly, like, the Looney Tunes version of here is a trail of gunpowder?
Drake: No, it’s not quite here is a trail of gunpowder, it’s more like six or seven fuses that are all, like, kind of bound into, like, a braided cable. And you can see that they’re going towards different casks around the room.
Paulomi: I’m gonna goad him.
Drake: You’re gonna goad him? How?
Paulomi: Okay, I think I know how I’m going to do this. I’m going to position myself such that I am between the Knack and Inanna, and I am firing, like, I lift my pistol, I look down the sight, and I fire just above his shoulder.
Drake: Have you got another pistol?
Paulomi: Oh, I guess I can’t. That’s true.
Drake: I mean, you can spend another.
Rhi: I thought you were loaded? You had six?
Drake: You got a pistol and a second pistol.
Paulomi: So, I think the way this looks is I advance forward, positioning myself between just bodily the Knack that is aiming for Inanna, so that I will absorb that hit, and I look down the sight of my pistol and I fire just above Maestro’s shoulder and toss my pistol aside and I draw my sword.
Drake: Please tell me what this sword looks like.
Paulomi: It’s curved, but it has, sort of, a hook at the end of it. So, it’s forged from iron, it’s a little bit heavier, but it’s, and it’s kind of reminiscent of a butcher’s knife, but it’s a little bit longer and a little bit less wide than your standard butcher’s knife. And at the end of it it’s got the, sort of, curved hook that can, kind of, like, sink into something and drag it.
Drake: So, my question is, is this like what a Bravo’s weapon looks like when a Bravo has a broken heart?
Paulomi: This looks like the kind of weapon a Bravo has when they are spoiling for blood.
Drake: So this isn’t courtly anymore, this is not for show.
Paulomi: No, this is something you would more likely find in, like back alleys, or- It is an instrument of more mutilation than honourable fighting.
Drake: Let me tell you what Maestro’s sword is like. Maestro’s word looks like a spoiled third son of a no count small time noble house. It looks like, you know, the family treasure was drunk away long ago, and all that’s left now is an angry young man who found his place behind an instrument which was supposed to be the instrument of gentlemen, but learned that the sporting limitations of being a gentleman get you real dead in the Twist. It is a fancy rapier that has been dinged and notched down its entire length. Maestro carries it with an ease born of familiarity, I think while he looks at your butcher’s weapon and sees something kindred, I think from where he’s standing right now he knows from the first touch of your blade that he could have you. I think you goaded him. I think right now he is in a position to engage with you, right? And I think as it is right now, with your gut hook butcher knife, I think that he’s going to have you on the defensive to start.
Paulomi: I think that’s fine.
Drake: Okay. So, I think if you want to engage with him I think you’re going to be doing it from a desperate position.
Paulomi: Okay, let’s do it. What does a lady’s favour look like in this scenario?
Drake: The lady;s favour in this scenario is that you’re gonna be pulled out of line, and that Knack is going to complete their spell.
Paulomi: Okay, I’m not gonna take that favour.
Drake: Okay, gotta cover your buddy, I get it.
Paulomi: I gotta cover my buddy. Yeah, alright, I’m gonna roll this die.
(heavy breathing)
Paulomi: It was bad.
Drake: Oh no.
Paulomi: It’s bad.
Navi: That’s a 1.
Paulomi: Oh no!
Josie: That’s a double 1. I don’t think that means anything special, but-
Drake: So, here’s what is gonna happen.
Paulomi: It’s real bad.
Drake: Because it was desperate, you’re disarmed firstly, because he was right, Maestro was absolutely right, from the first time you touched blades he could have you. You could make it long, or you could make it short, but he’s kind of on a timetable right here, so what he’s gonna do is he’s going to disarm you, so your butcher’s knife goes flying, that’s consequence number one, Consequence number two is that he guts you. You take level 3 harm.
Paulomi: Ooh. Hang on, I do believe bloody but unbowed allows me to ignore level 1 harm penalties at the very least.
Drake: That lets you ignore level 1, but this is level 3.
Paulomi: Yeah.
Drake: This is the level where you need help to do anything.
Navi: Oh no.
Josie: If you have armor to mark off you should.
Paulomi: Or that. I do, I do have armor, because I can do six things, and so I am carrying those six things. But how does one mark off armor, I have two armor ticks.
Drake: So go ahead and mark off your armor, that’s two ticks of load.
Paulomi: Cool.
Drake: And it’s going to be level 2, and instead you’re going to be- What’s a good alternative to gutted? Instead of, like, impaled I think you have a flesh wound.
Paulomi: I like that it’s just a sweeping up strike from, like, my hip up to, like, my sternum.
Drake: Yeah, I like that as well.
Paulomi: ‘Cause that’ll end up being a really cool scar, and the ladies love a cool scar.
Drake: Really cool.
Josie: Sexy cross body scar.
Drake: But you’re disarmed, and at this point the Knack is letting loose with that incantation that they were finishing. Every light here goes out, except for the one that is flowing out of its- Out of the Knack’s right hand. Now, in this moment where it’s flaring you can see that this Knack is wearing a mask that is not a blue devil, it’s not stylised like a blue devil, and instead it is this, kind of gauzy, gossamer, almost like interlocking gears. But they’re made of almost like a gold foil, and they, kind of, sweep out almost butterfly like from the Knack’s face. The energy that is pouring out of their hands is also almost gossamer, almost butterfly like, but it’s all these blue-black moths, and they unerringly, like, wrap around Aurelia, almost as if they are, like, Curse seeking, because they’re coming straight at Inanna. Inanna, you’re feeling this wave of something that you have never felt before. Almost like a sense of peace, as though your mission were complete. You’re feeling your soul ebbing, falling away from you.
Navi: Oh no. No no no. I’m going to use my special armour to resist complications, so I’m gonna stop that from happening, and then I’m using a vulgar display of power to throw it right back at the Knack.
Rhi: Oh!
Drake: Go ahead and mark armour.
Josie: Can you use armour to resist other people’s consequences?
Drake: Yes.
Josie: Ooh.
Drake: Yep. For one of you or your coterie, you can use special armour. Okay, well, very cool. Resist complication magic for you or your coterie that you are present for.
Navi: And then I’m going to use my vulgar display of power to just turn it and throw it right back at the Knack.
Drake: Oh, very cool.
Navi: And then- No, I don’t think so! And I kinda actually really wanna see this hit them, so I’m gonna push myself here.
Drake: Okay.
Navi: I think it’s a little bit of a point of pride that you can’t Knack my friends. Like-
Drake: Knack in the back, try to whack a Knack attack, we counter Knack attacked.
Navi: Like, I am clearly the anti-Knack Knack, and I am not okay with this.
Drake: Knack no longer means anything to me.
Navi: So what is the risky here?
Drake: So, with your vulgar display of power I think you have risk 0 here.
Navi: Risky standard. Extra die, come on!
Rhi: So that’s a 4.
Drake: That’s okay, it’s not great. So what you get is you turn those moths around as they are beginning to settle around Inanna, as they are beginning- Like, you can almost see them leeching colour first out the blade of Inanna’s sword, then out of her hair, out of her armour, out of everything. It’s almost like a bleaching effect, as if she’s becoming less substantial. They turn around. All that colour drains back into Inanna, and they take flight again, almost as a single unit, and fly back towards that Knack who immediately, like, you can see that they’re overtaxed in that moment and they have to, like, there’s a shredding gesture that they make and the moths catch fire, burn, fall down, and the fuse is now ignited.
Navi: Baum baum baum!
Rhi: I would like to intervene in this potential explosion. I’m gonna run over there and- I have fine wrecking tools, which I would like to use to cut the fuses. I’m just gonna apply the simplest problem of cutting the knot.
Drake: Yep.
Navi: I like it.
Drake: I mean.
Rhi: You know, sometimes that is the easiest way to solve the problem of I am just gonna try to get ahead. ‘Cause you said it’s a slow burn fuse, so I have a little time.
Drake: Yeah.
Rhi: So I’m just gonna try and run over there and just cut through the fuses before things start to blow.
Drake: Yeah, I think that that makes sense. I think that we’re probably only gonna get one shot at this though.
Rhi: Yep, no, that makes sense. I have fine wrecking tools.
Drake: That helps.
Rhi: So I am going to push myself.
Drake: Okay.
Rhi: I don’t know if I can get-
Josie: I’m trying to think of ways to assist.
Rhi: Yeah, yeah, that’s the thing is- I feel like everybody else is, kind of, on the other side of the room.
Josie: Lady’s favour.
Rhi: I don’t know. I can’t push myself and lady’s favour, can I?
Drake: Correct. No, you can push yourself or take a lady’s favour and you can get an assist. I mean, Inanna, you could be keeping the goons off her back while she’s doing this?
Rhi: Yeah. Yeah.
Josie: Sure.
Drake: Aurelia, you could be doing a similar thing. Lucy, you could be doing some moji.
Navi: Yeah.
Drake: There are assists on the table here.
Paulomi: Yeah, I think when the lights went out Aurelia jumped for the last known position of Maestro.
Drake: Oh, okay! So Aurelia’s in it to win it even though she’s bleeding and disarmed.
Paulomi: Fully no weapons whatsoever, maybe like a couple knives, but that’s it.
Drake: We’re going brawling today, that’s fine.
Paulomi: Yeah.
Drake: Like, no more than three knives.
Paulomi: Yeah, which for house of Battalia is functionally unarmed.
Rhi: It’s plural knives, so-
Drake: No, I know. I know it.
Rhi: So is that an assist for me?
Drake: Yeah, I mean, that’s keeping at least Maestro busy, and Maestro was the one who was holding the thing before then it was a duel.
Rhi: Okay.
Drake: So, yeah, I would say-
Rhi: Pushing myself, I get an assist, what do the fine wrecking tools get me? Improved effect?
Drake: They get you improved effect, which will give you standard in this case.
Rhi: Okay, so here’s the other thing. I have- My special permission as the Couth is a lucky break.
Drake: Oh, I love lucky break! Okay.
Rhi: And it just says once per errand you may use a lucky break to change your fortune.
Drake: That’s right. So-
Rhi: I don’t know what that means, but it’s very intriguing.
Drake: What do you think it means? Because that’s how we write most of these things. If you can argue-
Rhi: See, like, here’s the thing: the way that I read this is this feels like something that I would use after I roll the dice.
Drake: I agree.
Rhi: Okay, then I’m gonna wait until I roll the dice.
Drake: That makes sense.
Rhi: To decide if I’m invoking my lucky break. But yeah, so I’ve got an assist from Aurelia, who has jumped one of the guys, I’m pushing myself, I’ve got my fine wrecking tools, I am trying to just, by the light of burning fuses, trying to cut through them to keep this from exploding.
Drake: I think we’ve got an episode title.
Rhi: Alright, what’s my position and effect?
Drake: By the light of burning fuses, you are in a desperate situation in the dark, swinging wrecking tools, hoping like hell that you can stop this entire place from blowing up.
Rhi: We’re professionals.
Paulomi: Since everything’s started you have rolled nothing but desperate situations, I just wanna point that out.
Rhi: Yeah, no, it’s true. I’m grinding that xp.
Paulomi: I mean, it’s fine, I’m just saying.
Rhi: Okay, so, desperate, what is my position?
Drake: Your position is desperate, your effect is-
Rhi: Or effect, rather.
Drake: I was gonna give you limited, right? Unless you wanted to use- You’re using the lucky break in retrospect though, right?
Navi: Fine tools.
Rhi: Yeah, I have fine tools.
Drake: Yeah, that gives you standard.
Rhi: Okay, wonderful. I’ll take that. And then I get 2 bonus die because I’m getting the assist and I’m pushing myself.
Drake: She’s gonna wreck it.
Rhi: Okay, a 5. Do I wanna keep a 5? I would rather just do this clean, particularly because it’s desperate.
Drake: Yup.
Rhi: So I would like to use my lucky break.
Drake: Okay.
Rhi: To-
Drake: Do you wanna hear my pitch for what the break does?
Rhi: Yeah! Tell me what would happen on a 5.
Drake; Okay, so, on a 5 you would get seven of the eight fuses cut before the flame, like, passed your hands and you had to drop the thing and seek cover. So one of these crates is going to explode. Now if you want I can tell you that your lucky break could mean that that explosion happens far enough away from you that nobody that you are with right now is affected by it, I can tell you that the caret explodes in such a way that nobody above you is harmed, I can tell you that the crate is not a convention explosive and is instead something wacky, any of these things are on the table, what do you think your lucky break here is? Something is probably going to explode.
Rhi: Yeah, I-
Drake: Or you can resist the consequence.
Navi: Rhi, I mean, this lucky break is cool.
Drake: It is. You get to determine what the fiction is here.
Rhi: Yeah, I want to go with- Cause they had a lot of these, so I think that one of them going off by itself isn’t going to be big enough to do harm to the building above, I think that’s the lucky break.
Drake: You’re okay with it being near enough to you that there might be some fallout and consequences for you guys as long as the people above are okay, right?
Rhi: Mm hmm.
Drake: That’s your lucky break?
Rhi: Yep, yeah, I mean, I’m going to be rolling to resist whatever harm is about to come my way, so-
Drake: Yeah. As of right now, basically by the light of this last escaping fuse you’re seeing-
Rhi: No no no no no!
Drake: You’re seeing all of these blue devils, like, looking at it in horror and diving with their feet pointed back towards the, where the flame is disappearing, right?
Rhi: Yeah.
Drake: There’s going to be this massive concussion wave that is about to hit you, leave your ears ringing, leave the area choking with smoke. I’m going to give level 2 harm to everybody who is present. I think that it’s going to be, like, just concussed, right?
Rhi: So, would it still be a level 2 to me, even though I’m right next to it, or would it be level 3 for me?
Drake: I mean, were you chasing it all the way? Because I thought-
Rhi: No.
Drake: Basically before it branched is where you were trying to do the thing.
Rhi: Yeah.
Drake: Now, if you want I’ll knock it down to level 1 for everybody else if you’re close enough to it to take level 3.
Rhi: Yeah, I’ll take that.
Drake: You’ll take that?
Rhi: Yeah.
Drake: Okay. So you’re on the hook for a dropped lung, everybody else is gonna be dazed and, you know, knocked around.
Rhi: Gonna go ahead and bloody but unbowed that.
Drake: Okay. You don’t care that you’re dazed.
Rhi: Yeah. And I’m gonna roll to resist.
Drake: Okay.
Rhi: That harm.
Drake: Yeah.
Rhi: 5.
Drake: Alright, so that’s gonna be 1 stress to bring that down. What are you asking, Aurelia?
Paulomi: You said everyone is going to take a level 1 damage and be dazed. I am using bloody and unbowed.
Drake: So for you, you can take the harm, you have a level 1 harm, but it does not affect you at all.
Paulomi: Yes. I would like to do that.
Drake: Absolutely. That is your right as a Bravo with bloody but unbowed. Everybody else gets level 1 harm, you get level 1 harm as well but it does not affect you in any way.
Paulomi: Okay, cool.
Drake: ‘Cause usually all your body skills you’d be getting -1 effect.
Paulomi: Gotcha.
Rhi: So I’m putting down, since you said I was level 3 harm would’ve been a collapsed lung, I’m giving myself cracked ribs at level 2.
Drake: Perfect perfect.
Rhi: Probably broken ribs, really.
Drake: Yeah, you’re hurting. For sure.
Rhi: Yeah.
Drake: That pressure wave, that is some undeniable gravity.
Rhi: Yeah, I definitely got taken off my feet and blown back.
Drake: Yeah, just dust and blood and the smell of cordite in the air, it’s nasty in here. You weren’t the only one knocked around, there were a couple of little blue devils who look like they’re not getting back up. But there are still like eight of them who are still combat effective in here, kind of scrambling up to their feet, taking stock. It’s dark in here. I think, Aurelia, you and Maestro are down in a tangle of limbs, that sound about right?
Paulomi: Yeah, sounds about correct.
Drake: And Inanna, you’re still in the thick of where these blue devils are getting up, right?
Josie: Yeah. Although, because of my armour, I was unaffected by that.
Drake: Completely, yeah. So, like, the explosion basically just hit you like a rock wall and you stood in the face of it completely unimpressed, right?
Josie: Yeah, definitely. But I do think I’m going to- Well, can I see in here? Was the light seeing temporary or is it dark?
Drake: No, it’s dark in here.
Josie: Okay. Yeah, I wanna just start stabbing blue devils before they can get back up.
Drake: Sure, yeah. I think that is your right.
Paulomi: It is your right, it is your sacred duty.
Drake: In many ways that’s the feeling I’m getting from Inanna today, she’s in a stabbing mood. Okay, I think that there’s, I mean, there’s a lot of them, they’re in the dark, you are basically swinging wild, right?
Joise: Uh huh.
Drake: Unless, like, does your mortal curse power, like, do you hear heartbeats or anything like that? Like, tell me about how you’re locating these people.
Josie: I mean, well, I have a lantern that casts shadow. I feel like I wouldn’t have that unless I could get around the drawback of that to some extent.
Drake: Absolutely. That makes sense.
Josie: So I’m thinking either I do have better than normal night vision, or can I, like, suck up some shadow with it?
Drake: That’s too cool for me to say no.
Josie: It’s gotta get the shadow from somewhere, right?
Drake: For sure, yeah, it’s basically just like refilling it with lamp oil, right?
Josie: Mm hm.
Drake: So tell me what this looks like, like, just real quick paint me a word picture that we’re seeing on screen as the episode is drawing on.
Josie: I think that after the explosion there’s a moment of everyone being stunned and the only noise being some groans and debris.
Drake: The loud ringing in your ears.
Paulomi: The sounds of scuffling in the corner.
Josie: And she keeps on her feet but she had to take a very wide stance, so just barely. And she reaches into the sash at her waist and pulls out – it’s just a teeny tiny little lantern, right? Teeny tiny. It only has a little bubble of oil in it and a little bit of a wick, it’s sort of a personal thing, it’s not a huge, it’s not a big, clanky hand lanter.
Drake: Yeah, no, this isn’t like a watchman’s lantern or anything, this is for a purpose.
Josie: No, this is like a long lasting portable match, basically.
Drake: Sure.
Josie: But I think she- How does she do it? I’m trying to think of what the, like, reverse of lighting a wick is.
Rhi: You know when you, like, if you don’t wanna blow out a match you lick your fingers and pinch it? Maybe something like that? Or, like, maybe you pinch the wick between your fingers?
Josie: Yeah, I think she just pinches the wick and some of the darkness just starts sucking in around it. I don’t think it leaves brightness, it’s just whiter shadow, basically. So things are kind of a grey in a radius around her.
Drake: Yeah, it’s like the absence of dark. Like it’s drained the dark out of the darkness that you are in. So it’s almost like this weird monochrome radius around you.
Navi: That’s cool.
Drake: I think as it’s drawing away, like, we’re seeing Aurelia down in a tangle of limbs with Maestro, and Maestro honestly looks mostly surprised that Aurelia didn’t just lay down and nurse a wound.
Paulomi: Honestly how? Truly?
Drake: Usually when he stabs people people stay stabbed, that’s all.
Paulomi: Maestro, we’ve been doing this for how many years, my dude?
Drake: But, I mean, he’s still got a knife in one hand and he’s got his sword in the other and you guys are grappling and trying to get various bladed implements into each other so, like, I think right now, like, you’re bleeding and he’s still fresh, I think that it’s at least risky here, right? You’ve negated most of his advantage, but now it’s this weird-
Josie: Real quick, do I see Alessa?
Drake: I don’t know. Alessa… Yeah- Mm… Yes. yes you do.
Josie: Okay, then I think instead of stabbing Inanna sees that Alessa is hurt and moves over by her, ready to fight anyone off.
Drake: Good.
Josie: Yeah.
(everyone awws)
Drake: I love that. There’s feelings there in that gore titan. Yeah, so, Maestro is still trying to get a knife into you and stop this fight, right? Because you, like, hurled yourself at him though the darkness and it was just like a body block, right? You said you had knives out-
Paulomi: I do.
Drake: So I think it’s an even fight.
Paulomi: I feel like, yeah, I feel like we’re fighting this knife fight.
Drake: Just knife fight, rolling around on the cave floor. It’s fine.
Paulomi: Yeah, it’s fine. It’s fine.
Drake: So I think it’s at least risky here. If you’re trying to get away, like, I think if you’re trying to break contact, like, it’s a risky thing. If you’re trying to, like, end this fight once and for all I think you might be crossing the line into desperate.
Paulomi: I think I’m trying to end the fight.
Drake: Are you?
Rhi: I have an idea for how I can aid from a distance.
Drake: How?
Rhi: I wanna mark that I have a lanter and I want to basically open up the light of the lantern at just the right time to basically shine it into Maestro’s eyes and blind him.
Drake: Oh, that’s devious, I like that.
Rhi: To give Aurelia an edge. Just like wait. ‘Cause it’s a little lighter in here now, I can kind of see where people are moving and just light it up at just the right time.
Drake: Okay, makes sense. You’ve done the stress for the assist.
Rhi: Yeah, I’ve still got some stress, everything’s fine.
Drake: As long as you’ve got more than one, you’re okay.
Rhi: Yeah, we’re good, we’re good, marking the lantern.
Drake: It’ll be easier, everything’s fine.
Rhi: So, yeah, that will be my help, so you can have 1 more die.
Paulomi: So I’m gonna skirmish.
Drake: Awesome. That makes sense.
Paulomi: We said this was desperate.
Drake: Yes, it is.
Paulomi: The effect is standard. I get 1 bonus die. Ooh! 6!
Josie: Close one!
Drake: Right in the middle of a 6. Okay, cool. So are you looking to kill Maestro? Or are you just proving something to Maestro here?
Paulomi: Let me think out loud for a second, because I feel like these altercations with Maestro are always on- I mean, it’s not like friendly, but it’s on a competitive level, right, like we’ve just beefed with each other for so long we’ve forgotten why. So we get into scraps, but it’s never anything beyond I don’t like you, well I don’t like you either! But I have just found him committing treason, essentially, and you know, I have the burdens of the house on my shoulders as well as the rest of my coterie. If I were to be able to, like, I think I’m seeing an advantage here.
Drake: Sure.
Paulomi: If I were to be able to say we captured and or killed the traitor then we might get points for that.
Drake: Sure.
Paulomi: Some way, somehow.
Drake: Lemme walk you through this because traitor is a weird word here in Ilrien, right.
Paulomi: Interesting, okay.
Drake: So, House Corvetto is, for right now, the first house in the city. They’ve been first house in the city for a while, but Ilrien does’;t believe in kings, they don’t believe in a lineage or anything like that. Nobody’s- People are loyal to the idea of the prince of Ilrien, but the prince of Ilrien changes. If the blue devils-
Paulomi: It’s more of a throne, not who’s wearing the crown situation.
Drake: Exactly. So if what Maestro and his folks are doing succeeds there’s no one left to be loyal to, right? There’s no, like, Corvetto is, you know, past tense. You’re not a traitor, you’re a revolutionary. It’s happened before with the Dread Emperor, right. But by the same token you’re right, Corvetto will probably be real happy if you got the people who were against Corvetto and, like, showed them to them. But, like, there’s no unified Ilrien to be a traitor to if that makes any sense, right?
Paulomi: Sure. There- I think being a revolutionary is being a traitor to the idea of the city, it kind of how I would wordsmith that.
Drake: I like that.
Paulomi: The gymnastics involved.
Rhi: Well I, honestly, I think Alessa is in the same boat, ‘cause it’s like Wren basically said, like, you know, we traded one king for seven, it’s like, yeah, and you’re gonna put your prince of tatters on the throne and then you’ll be back to one king, this is how it goes.
Drake: Yup.
Rhi: Like, these are the rulers we have. Make nice.
Drake: At least we know these devils, right? Sure. We’re watching you guys fight with this dagger and it’s like that classic scene where he’s got his arms up and across and you’ve got the dagger, like, over his crossed arms, and I’m just wondering if, like, this is a chance to bury the dagger next to his face and be like I’m better than you, you’re going to face the consequences for this, or if you end up murdering him.
Paulomi: I think he’s just caught me, it’s just been an unlucky day for him. It’s a perfect storm of me having a whole bag of chips on my shoulder, me having something to prove, me- You know, like, I was talking earlier about presenting traitors to House Corvetto, if I’m able to present somebody who endangered Juliana- It’s like a cat-
Drake: Yeah, you bring a trophy.
Paulomi: With a dead bird.
Drake: I don’t think you’re a very good hunter, here, have a bird.
Paulom: So I think it’s just this perfect storm, and in a split second she decides to bury the blade in his gut.
Drake: Ooh!
Rhi: Nice.
Navi: So in this dramatic moment, just a little bit too late, I think this is when Lucy finally comes to her senses, ‘cause she got dazed by the concussion coming off of the detonation ray, so she comes to her senses and she’s kind of like holding onto the wall and, like, you hear that bloodslick, just, sound as she starts to say:
Navi (as Lucy): These are all children of nobles.
Navi: ‘Cause they’re all blue devils. Like, she’s trying to remind everyone to come to their senses because right now everyone near her is murdering nobility. You know, regardless of what side they’re on, everyone here in this room is a noble and this is really bad!
Paulomi: I think we cut to a shot of, like, of Aurelia, like, getting to her feet and, like, wiping a gloved hand across her mouth while the dagger is still in it and just looking over at Lucy and that ashen of like mmm, she’s right.
Drake: Oh no.
Navi: Lucy’s just holding her head and like shaking, but she’s got one hand out towards the other Knack. So she’s got a hand on her head, her eyes are almost closed, but she’s pointing at the other Knack like don’t you move. Don’t do a damn thing, I can’t think right now.
Drake: So, that Knack is, has not been, like, idle. Since that explosion that Knack is doing something, it’s this weird kind of shuffly bear war dance over there on the other side.
Navi: Mother fucker!
Drake: It’s just kind of up at, it’s like, Maestro and the Knack were kind of halfway up a flight of stairs up toward the, like, the- You’re not really sure what’s up there, honestly, because you’re kind of in, like, a forgotten basement level of the palace that I don’t think anyone here has ever been to because we had to cut through a wall to get there, right. And, like, there’s something weird going on with, like, their silhouette, like, something is moving underneath their robes, ‘cause they’ve got that impressive kind of gauzy gear butterfly costume.
Paulomi: I have a very wicked idea.
Drake: What is your very wicked idea?
Paulomi: My knives are throwing knives.
Drake: They are.
Paulomi: In for a penny, in for a pound.
Drake: Are you going to try and murder the Knack, too?
Paulomi: Yeah. Drive it like you stole it, folks.
(crosstalk and laughter)
Rhi: Listen, if you hadn’t Alessa was going to exhaustedly draw a pistol and just shoot.
Paulomi: I wanna make sure that this is cool though, like.
Drake: Oh, please.
Rhi: Fucking go for it.
Paulomi: I’m about to throw a knife.
Drake: I think you should.
Navi: Yeah, yeah.
Drake: If that is your yen right now I am here to serve your yen.
Paulomi: It is my most yen.
Rhi: Go for it.
Drake: Your most yen of yens. Okay.
Paulomi: Yeah, talk to me about this roll.
Drake: So, as you’re rising from this engagement, got the knife. You left that knife buried in-
Paulomi: I’m breathing heavily like my shoulders are heaving.
Drake: So this is drawing, like, a fresh knife and throwing it, right?
Paulomi: Yes.
Drake: I think in this moment just distance, darkness, being, like, you’re rising from a conflict-
Rhi: Well, I did flip on a lantern, so there’s a little less darkness now if that makes any difference.
Drake: You had a little spot lantern, right? Like a little bullseye lantern.
Rhi: Uh, yeah, more or less.
Drake: I think that-
Josie: And also my weird lantern.
Drake: I don’t think that your monochrome radius goes that far.
Josie: Okay.
Drake: I think, like, you might be able to see, like- No, you know what, I think you’re right. I think the radiance – the non-radiance – what would you call that? Like, the-
Paulomi: The anti-radiance?
Drake: Yeah, the negaradience or whatever. It’s just enough to see this Knack by. So I think, like, you can see but it;s difficult and it’s gonna be kind of a weird angle, I can give you risky limited to start, that sound right?
Paulomi: That sounds right.
Drake: As you’re rising from a fight and, kind of, snapping off like a throwing knife here.
Paulomi: Yeah.
Drake: You might stop him, but I don’t think you could kill him.
Paulomi: What’s our lady’s favour for this?
Drake: I think the lady’s favour is that Corvetto’s guards are coming down those stairs right now.
Paulomi: Oh, I’ll take it.
Drake: Yeah? Battalia, the Johnny-come-lately’s on the scene of the Esultare down in the basement where an explosion just happened surrounded by noble corpses and- I mean, I’m into it.
Josie: I mean, we’re all nobles too. It’s kind of a wash.
Paulomi: Taking the lady’s favour gives me 1 bonus die, correct?
Drake: Sure does.
Paulomi: Ooh! That’s another 6!
Drake: Nice.
Paulomi: I’m rolling 6s today.
Drake: As you are throwing this thing this Knack, like, he’s in the process of turning into a flock of those butterflies, and, like, the part that is still person happens to be, like, face at this point, it’s just mask floating in the middle of that, and so I think the dagger goes through the mask and pins it directly to the wall, like there;s blood, but those moths, those butterflies are still in flight in that stairway above you.
Paulomi: Yeah.
Drake: You think you’ve wounded, you think you’ve damaged this Knack, and you have their mask, but they are in the process of getting away unless somebody does something else. And there’s a contingent of about twelve corvetto guards who are coming down, all booted feet and drawn swords.
Navi: Do I recognise the magic that’s being used? Do I know this Knack? Is this something- This seems very personal, seems like a signature thing. So are they from this city or are they from somewhere else? Because if they’re from Ilrien I know them.
Drake: I don’t know that they are. You know, it seems like a familiar flavour. Like, they are definitely tapping into your kind of fae milieu here, but they’re not anybody that you’d know from, like, the Scolumn.
Navi: Okay, well, that doesn’t sit well with me because that means they don’t have any ties with Ilrien, which means they could just, like-
Drake: Be in the wind,
Navi: Be in the wind. And that bothers me. So, as they are trying to get free I am going to push myself to run the weave in the opposite direction and turn the magic off.
Drake: Oh no!
Paulomi: I wanna find out what happens to a pile of butterflies when the magic gets turned off.
Rhi: Oh, probably nothing good, that’s gonna feel real bad for them.
Navi: Controlled at this point, right?
Drake: I don’t know. I think this is risky, because you just turned off the magic- Or you turned the magic to eleven, and then cut it off.
Navi: Well, yeah, but I’m not the one using magic right now, so I think it’s more of a problem for the Knack than it is for me, but I’ll go with risky anyway.
Drake: Risky standard. It’s a crit!
Rhi: Oh my god!
Paulomi: Absolutely incredible.
Drake: It’s a crit! So it’s messy, right. Are we thinking, like, immediately fatal messy? ‘Cause that’s my thought.
Paulomi: Well, that doesn’t seem like it would necessarily be good for a critical though, because a critical is good for us and having another corpse feels like it’s not good for us right now.
Rhi: I feel like we want somebody alive to give us information.
Drake: That’s fair.
Navi: Lucy was the, a moment ago, the only voice of reason who wasn’t murdering everyone, so I think Lucy has very- I have very, I have thoughts about this. I have intentions of not murdering this person, but I am just- I think that it’s probably not pleasant. I imagine it’s like running full tilt into a brick wall.
Drake: Oh no.
Navi: Just a dead stop, right.
Drake: So I-
Navi: ‘Cause he was to, like, he was to re-gather in an instant and then basically just hit the floor.
Drake: Oh, that’s way better.
Rhi: Abruptly reconstitutes.
Drake: That’s way better than painting this place Corvetto red. Oay, yeah, so this Knack, without mask now, with a-
Navi: And Lucy’s just gone:
Navi (as Lucy): I told you not to move.
Drake: I told you. I begged you.
Navi: I pleaded!
Paulomi: I asked nicely. You didn’t listen.
Navi: I was real nice about it.
Drake: I’ll go back to not nagging. Okay, so having turned the magic off this person, all of these butterflies slamback together and he falls amidst, like, basically into the waiting arms of these Corvetto soldiers who are, you know, tramping down the stairs.
Navi: Oh, couldn’t have planned it better myself! I’m gonna pretend it was intentional.
Drake: Yeah. Now the mask is, like, pinned into the masonry behind these guys.
Paulomi: Can he have, like, this gash, like, a small one on his cheek bone?
Drake: Oh, yeah.
Paulomi: I feel like-
Rhi: You cut him an orphan’s gash.
Drake: I was gonna give him, like, a nasty, like, eye scar so that he’d be like a signature villain from now on.
(everyone ‘yeah’s)
Drake: Yeah? Into that?
Paulomi: Cool, cool.
Drake: So he’s got this, you know, nasty bleeding wound over his left eye, the eye is still perfectly intact, it’s just that beautiful almost Scar from Lion king, you know, scar now. But he’s like completely, like, seeing stars kind of out of it and these two, like, liege men of Corvetto are holding on to his arms, looking out over what is going on down in the cellar, the smoke, the cordite in the air, the groans of pain, and all of you, looking kind of musketeers while also somewhat what the hell are you doing in my house.
Rhi: Alessa is going to, from, I imagine, like- What I’m picturing is that Alessa is kind of like half sprawled on the floor half, like, propped up against another one of the explosive boxes because that’s where she landed, gives them sort of like a two fingered salute and is like:
Rhi (as Alessa): You’re welcome.
Drake: I love it. Yeah. I think that, like, the air in here is basically daggers, right. ‘Cause there’s all these people with drawn swords but there’s this Knack by the shoulders and these Corvetto leigemen are not real sure what to do with it all, right. So they basically in as kind and respectful a way possible take everybody here into custody, right.
Rhi: Fair.
Paulomi: Yeah, valid.
Rhi: We’re just gonna arrest everyone and sort this out.
Josie: Inanna will go along with it, but will not surrender her weapons.
Paulomi: I have no weapons to surrender.
Drake: They’re all in people.
Josie: Her sword stays at her hip.
Navi: At this point Lucy’s like a walking dead zone with no magic allowed around her, so she’s kind of disarmed herself.
Drake: Yeah, right. So, like, they bring you up and they bring you into like the undercroft of the palace here, and back into, like, it’s not really like a jail or anything like that, ‘cause there are really no jails in Ilrien, right, like, there’s less nice parts of the house. So they have you, like, basically sitting in, like the uncomfortable parlour.
Rhi: And then they lock the door.
Drake: Yeah, they lock the door. Can you believe that! They lock you in. And eventually they send somebody, they send an agent to come and debrief you, right. And they’re wearing, kind of, the long feathered mask of a Corvetto liegeman and everything. Somebody noble by blood. And they sit, and they close the door, and they lock the door from the inside, they take the mask off, it’s your spymaster.
(everyone gasps and laughs)
Navi (as Lucy): Look, things happened.
Drake (as spymaster): Can you please tell me what this was all about?
Josie (as Inanna): We caught wind of a plot to destroy the palace and House Corvetto along with it, we stopped it.
Paulomi (as Aurelia): There were explosions.
Drake (as spymaster): That corroborates your story, yes.
Rhi (as Alessa): Yeah, we’re pretty sure the explosions at the arsenal were meant to be a distraction. Do they have a house physician they would be willing to loan us? I think I have several broken ribs.
Drake (as spymaster): Oh dear, yes, in a moment. You have to understand-
Rhi (as Alessa): Is there whiskey in this parlour?
Drake: At that point, like, your spymaster sort of reaches down into his belt and pulls out a hip flask and passes it over to you wordlessly. Anaesthetics yourself.
Rhi (as Alessa): Oh, you are a saint, thank you.
Drake: So the spymaster is getting your story out and he’s like:
Drake (as spymaster): Okay, how did you happen upon this? Because this is a coup, you understand that? This is a coup. Not just a kind of coup where they try to replace Corvetto, but this is a coup for us. We didn’t step in for House Battalia, we stepped in for Corvetto. That leaves them looking bloody around the nose. This is big. This could be a big thing for us.
Josie (as Inanna): We figured as much.
Rhi (as Alessa): Yeah, Aurelia, you were the one that figured it out initially.
Paulomi (as Aurelia): The ironmongers were helping them, yes.
Drake (as spymaster): Ironmongers?
Paulomi (as Aurelia): At the docks, earlier today, I saw them shifting cargo for the ironmongers. At least, something with the ironmongers stamp on it.
Drake (as spymaster): They stamped their crates?
Paulomi (as Aurelia): One can only assume- I mean, it’s, I know, it seems kind of insane, but-
Drake (as spymaster): I mean, if it was going to explode anyway why not, right? And obviously if they were transporting goods without the stamp then they couldn’t even get into the Coronette- This is genius! And you put all this together?
Paulomi: Aurelia blinks.
Josie (as Inanna): When the docks exploded that cinched things pretty clearly.
Drake (as spymaster): And the riots, obviously a cover for disengagement. This is-
Paulomi (as Aurelia): I’m sorry, what?
Drake (as spymaster): The riots. The riots, at the arsenal.
Navi (as Lucy): Oh, is that what that was? We were meaning to talk about what Aurelia had seen at the docks, and we were trying to figure out what to do about it. We saw the explosion at the arsenal and figured it was best to come here, ‘cause we thought that might just be a distraction.
Drake (as spymaster): Brilliant. I’m actually rather in awe.
Navi (as Lucy): Oh. Thanks.
Drake (as spymaster): So, this is how we’ll spin it: on your own, with no direction from the house, something something living up to the grand tradition of House Battalia, this is how we’ll pitch it to the broadsheets, right? The House Battalia charged into action to defend the person and property of the first prince of the city, thus cementing their return to the grand- We’ll work it in post, it’ll be fine. Now, I have to get you out of here quietly, are you up to it? Or shall I call a litter?
Navi (as Lucy): Is a litter an option?
Rhi (as Alessa): I can walk. Don’t get condescending.
Navi (as Lucy): A Corvetto litter? No, I wanna ride in the Corvetto litter!
Josie (as Inanna): Corvetto is not amenable to this situation, then?
Drake (as spymaster): They have questions and Juliana is fielding them as best she can for the time being, I think I can tweak things, grease palms, do what I do. But she’s going to be-
Paulomi: Aurelia definitely goes stock still. Oops. I forgot someone. Oops.
Drake (as spymaster): What? You’ve grown pale, are you alright?
Paulomi (as Aurelia): Juliana’s here?
Drake (as spymaster): And has been for the past hour and half or so.
Paulomi (as Aurelia): Good thing we stopped whatever was going on in the basement.
Drake (as spymaster): Oh, no, that would’ve been quite a blow to the house, we have such plans for Juliana.
Rhi: I think Alessa just very slowly offers the flask to Aurelia.
Paulomi: Just fully drains the flask. Fully drains it.
Rhi: I’m not sure why you just went stock still and almost all the colour drained from your face, but I feel like you need this.
Drake (as spymaster): Anyhow, we can secret you out, probably shift change. There will be another interrogator who comes through and asks some questions, but we’ll get you out before that happens.
Navi (as Lucy): So that’s no to the Corvetto litter?
Drake (as spymaster): I would recommend against it.
Navi (as Lucy): (sighs)
Drake (as spymaster): It’s okay, you know, eventually maybe that-
Josie (as Inanna): Will it look any better once they realise we have gone.
Drake (as spymaster): They won’t know who you are. I’m going to fix it so they don’t know who you are.
Navi (as Lucy): Great, love that for us.
Drake (as spymaster): Well, the alternative being that they know who you are.
Paulomi (as Aurelia): More than happy to stay below Corvetto’s notice.
Drake (as spymaster): Well, that is our whole raison d’etre, isn’t it? Okay, I’m going to have some food sent, eat a little. I’ll have more whiskey? Whiskey is good?
Rhi (as Alessa): Whiskey’s great.
Drake (as spymaster): Okay, I’ll have some more whiskey.
Paulomi (as Aurelia): Could we get some napkins for the blood?
Drake (as spymaster): Napkins for the blood, I can do that as well. I can’t send a litter, I’m very sorry. You’re going to have to stop looking at me like that.
Navi: It’s just the complete and utter, like, crestfallen disappointment in, like, everything we’ve gone though and I don’t even get to ride in a- This is my moment! Just, the first prince’s litter.
Drake: Now my big question-
Paulomi: Aurelia puts a hand on her sister’s shoulder.
Navi: Thank you.
Drake (as spymaster): I just have one more question, and I really need honesty here. I understand that you’ve been nothing but forthcoming, you’re quite clearly brilliant, I need to know how Apollo Brizolatto’s personal Knack, the one who came to the city just six months ago, is involved.
Josie (as Inanna): They seem to be working with the plot.
Paulomi (as Aurelia): Yes, they were there from the very start of the whole- They were there when we kicked in the wall.
Navi (as Lucy): I’d be careful with that one.
Drake (as spymaster): Well, right now he’s in custody and we have him bound. Right now he hasn’t been much for talking, or anything really. Mostly seems to be fairly disconnected from reality. We’re hoping that eventually he regains his senses because, well, he’s Apollo Brizolatto’s Knack.
Paulomi (as Aurelia): Yes, question, do we have him or-
Paulomi: Pointing at us like House of Battalia.
Paulomi (as Aurelia): Or do we have him.
Paulomi: Meaning the Corvettos.
Drake (as spymaster): I could debrief one of you. I could either debrief you or Apollo Brizolatto’s Knack, and in a spur of the moment decision I chose y’all.
Paulomi (as Aurelia): We’re very grateful.
Drake (as spymaster): I just figured it would be the biggest net gain to the house. And once again you’re proving me correct, which is nice, I hate being wrong.
Josie (as Inanna): Keeping these three unknown to Corvetto is fine, if you need the story corroborated to the house I don’t much care if i’m known to them or not, and my integrity has lasted longer than their line.
Drake (as spymaster): Well, we can hardly-
Navi: Damn!
Drake (as spymaster): Hardly argue with that. Although honestly if there was one secret weapon that I wanted to keep off of Corvetto’s raidar it would be our Curse.
Josie (as Inanna): I see.
Drake (as spymaster): As much as everybody has one.
Josie (as Inanna): I will continue to hide, but I will not lie in pursuit of that.
Drake (as spymaster): I would never ask you to, that’s my job.
Navi: Simply omit the truth.
Drake (as spymaster): Alright. Gather yourself, because you’re not out of the woods yet. Someone’s going to come by and in passing they’re going to drop a tray, that will be your cue to go. I believe in you. This will be fine.
Paulomi (as Aurelia): Where are we going?
Drake (as spymaster): You’re going to bear left-
Drake: And then at this point he rattles off a list of directions that you are to follow. Some of them are not difficult to understand, but kind of, like, esoteric and weird. Like, when the candelabra drops to your left, you will go right. And then, you know, he bows once to you, puts his mask back on, and goes:
Drake (as spymaster): I hope to work with you again very soon.
Rhi (as Alessa): Been a pleasure.
Josie (as Inanna): Indeed.
Paulomi (as Aurelia): Don’t you work for us always?
Drake (as spymaster): Of course not.
Navi (as Lucy): Not this directly.
Drake (as spymaster): I am Cappoferro Corvetto.
Paulomi: Aurelia struggles with this.
Navi (as Lucy): We saved the palace and now we’re waiting for a tray to drop so we can scurry out like rats. My day is complete.
Navi: Lucy is just now sullen and, like, she can’t showboat and talk about how amazing she is, they put baby in a corner, she’s just so upset.
Drake: No one puts baby in a corner.
Rhi: Alessa is slowly manoeuvring herself so that she can, like, lie down on a chaise longue.
Paulomi: This is good.
Josie: Inanna helps.
Rhi (as Alessa): Thank you. You are very nice.
Rhi: Pats your arm.
Josie (as Inanna): It’s my duty.
Drake: I think that you guys are able, through coordination and trickery, on your own parts and those of your spymaster, who is absolutely not Cappoferro Corvetto, to extricate yourselves from the palace without attracting undue notice. I think that that completes our errand, if you guys are happy with that.
Rhi: Yeah, no, I think that’s a good place to end it. These four dorks limping home.
Drake: That is the proper, proper Battalia errand right there. Four dorks limping home having saved the world and nobody knowing.
Outro ## [01:16:21]
Thanks for listening. The coterie of House Battalia will return in two weeks. In the meantime, check out our other shows on clevercorvids.net and follow us on Twitter @clever_corvids.
Court of Blades was GM’d by Shawn Drake. Follow him on twitter @drakeanddice.
Alessa Cavalcante was played by Rhi, who also edited and produced the show. Follow her on Twitter @Rhiannon42, and check out her accessibility work at rpgskillcheck.net.
Aurelia Fiorelli di Battalia was played by Paulomi Pratap. She’s the art director of Descent into Midnight, and you can see more of her work on her website paulomipratap.com and follow her on Twitter @paulomisp.
Inanna was played by Josie. Follow her on Twitter @DragonGirlJosie, and check out her art portfolio at josie-art.com.
Luciana Fiorelli was played by Navi Drake. Follow her on Twitter @navimusing.
The opening and closing credits music is Epilogue, by Dee Yan-Key, and is used under a Creative Commons License. Court of Blades is a Forged in the Dark game and is the creation of A Couple of Drakes. More information about the game can be found on their website acoupleofdrakes.com.
Blooper ## [01.17.52]
Josie: Alright, I think Aurelia reaches into her sash and just offers, like, some field bandages.
Rhi: Inanna.
Josie: Yeah, Inanna, right. Who am I?
Drake: Yeah…
Josie: Who are you?
Drake: What’s going on, why is it dark in here? Why do I hear laughing?