Transcribed by Michelle Kelly.
## Intro
Rhi: Welcome to Ilrien, and to the first episode of our Court of Blades mini-series. Court of Blades is a Forged in the Dark game, which means it’s built on the same mechanical bones as Blades in the Dark. But instead of being about criminals clawing their way to the top of an industrial fantasy city, this game sees the players as agents working on behalf of powerful noble houses in a scheming city-state.
It is, to quote the book, a game of “power politics, renaissance magic, gunpowder diplomacy, and romantic skullduggery.” Players can choose from one of several noble houses, each with their own specializations and aims, and from a wide variety of playbooks. They’ll complete errands on behalf of their house and attempt to raise their house’s standing, while also pursuing their own personal goals. There’s also an entire section on romantic entanglements, which is just wonderful.
There will be six episodes in total of this mini series, with a new one airing every other Thursday. So be sure to check back in for more of the adventures of our House Battalia coterie.
Next, Aki from The City That Never Dies is going to tell us about this month’s featured charity.
Aki: Hey, it’s Aki, and our chosen charity of the month is Red Canary Song, a grassroots collective of Asian and migrant sex workers organizing trans-nationally. Red Canary Song centers base-building with migrant workers through a labor rights framework and mutual aid. We believe that full decriminalization is necessary for labor organizing and anti-trafficking. As May is Asian and Pacific Islander Heritage Month, what better way to promote the cause than one that affects my people directly? Get involved now by visiting redcanarysong.net. That is redcanarysong.net. Thanks.
Rhi: In addition to Red Canary Song, I strongly encourage you, no matter where you are in the world, to donate to your local reproductive rights organization. I promise you, they need the support.
Now then. Let’s get started, shall we?
## Story beings [00.02.30]
Drake: Welcome everybody to Ilrien. It is a beautiful spring evening in the greatest city in this or any other age. We find ourselves flying in over the bay, over the beautiful ramshackle majesty of The Groan into the deepest, oldest parts of this city, down narrow avenues, through the mist that is already beginning to rise off the canals and up toward the beautiful, or once beautiful, home of the Battalia family. You can already hear the orchestra tuning up, you can already hear the sounds of quiet conversation rising to a dull buzz in the background as carriages arrive to the social event of the season. This is the Welcome Ball.
House Battalia was once a grand fixture among the city, but they are Ilrein’s sword. They’ve been left to rust in the scabbard over the mantle for perhaps too long, some say. But now they are once more amongst the Esultare, the greatest of the six families here in Ilrien. We pull in through the carriage gate, over the manicured lawn, somehow, in the middle of this twisted city narrows neighborhood, and into this place where it all started. This is a ball to welcome them once more into the Esultare and it seems that everybody’s here. There’s members of every faction of Ilrien, this city of intrigue and politics. No one’s armed, and that’s probably for the best. There have already been three fist fights and people have been ejected.
Rhi: [laughs]
Drake: But we come to a shot that leads us through an immense bay window and into the ballroom proper, where people are circulating waiting for the festivities to begin in earnest. It’s already been about three hours, so everybody’s really ready for that. Who do we find maybe near the buffet table at the edge of the ballroom first, as we are seeing this opening shot of our series?
Rhi: So, I think standing near one of the buffet tables, a glass of wine in her hand, is a young woman with light skin, lot of freckles, couple scars on her face. She’s got short brown hair that is not cut in anything resembling the appropriate fashion and she is, despite her sort of rough-edged appearance, is dressed very finely in House Battalia’s colors. And this is Alessandra Nerroni Cavalcante, or Alessa as she generally goes. And in terms of the playbook, she is The Couth.
Drake: Ooh.
Rhi: She was not born to this life of luxury, but has found her way here nonetheless. And so I think she’s standing there with a glass of wine, probably kind of fidgety and bored. Is currently just sort of people-watching but, you know, is shifting her weight, kinda slouching, is ready for things to start happening. She’s tired of talking to these people.
Drake: This becomes my first pointed question, Alessa, um—
Rhi: Yes?
Drake: Is Alessa on duty here or was she given orders to enjoy the party?
Rhi: Oh, good question. I think that she was given orders to enjoy the party and represent the Cavalcante family well. Like, her half-sister is also here, working the room, but they were sort of, both of them were dispatched to attend and present the family well.
Drake: Is this Alessa’ first real big Battalia party? Like, this is the coming out party for the entire house of the Esultare, being introduced into the social season. This sets the tone for the entirety of the season. Is this your first shindig of this magnitude?
Rhi: Um, of this magnitude, probably, but she has been around in the upper echelons of society since she was, like, 16 or 17, so she’s ben to some big parties. This isn’t her first time at a fancy event. She put in a lot more effort at the earlier ones.
Drake: Fair.
Rhi: Now she doesn’t care quite as much.
Drake: Fair. So some of the grandeur might be showing a little sign of wear. There might be flaking on the gilt here. You see everything for what it really is, not necessarily—
Rhi: Mm hmm.
Drake: You’re not some townie who has kind of wandered in from out of the cold to see how the upper crust shindig. This is the waters in which we swim here in Ilrien, right?
Rhi: Mm hmm.
Drake: Excellent. So, we see Alessa toying with a wine glass. Dodging conversation? Engaging in conversation?
Rhi: Eh, largely dodging conversation. She’s been chatting with people over the course of the evening. Might have been involved in instigating at least one of those fist fights?
Josie: [laughs]
Drake: Perfect.
Rhi: You know, nobody can prove anything. [laughs] But at this point she’s just like, she’s tired of being here, she’s tired of making polite small talk with these people who are judging her, she just wants to get past the ceremonial stuff so she can sneak out.
Paulomi: I feel like the camera kind of swings over to wherever there’s a dance floor.
Drake: Oh, perfect.
Paulomi: And we see a taller woman, like, six foot, dancing with some [laughs] no-named individual. She is wearing a very smart, high-collared, heavy brocaded, double-tailed dress jacket on top of dress britches and very high boots, and her hair is kind of done up. We kind of see as she swings around she’s got several rakish scars, some by her mouth, some by her eyebrows.
Drake: Always the pretty kind.
Paulomi: Always the pretty kind. Never not the not-pretty kind. [laughs] Um, and I think, you know, the song ends a little bit, she bows a little stiffly and then kind of goes in search of someone else in the crowd. She came her to have a good time and it’s not quite happening, because the person that she wants to be spending it with is currently indisposed, unavailable.
Drake: What is your playbook, Aurelia?
Paulomi: I am… the Brava. The Bravo. [laughs]
Drake: Brava, excellent, excellent.
Josie: [laughs]
Drake: Brava, indeed. My question is, to a party like this, are you armed? Are you walking around with a weapon on or… like, that’s something that your station might afford you, right?
Paulomi: She definitely is. She’s definitely got more a ceremonial sword. It’s not something that would really stand up to much of a battle, but—
Drake: Well no, you’re not waging a war here, you’re… okay, fair.
Paulomi: Certainly not. It’s got a very nice carving in the hilt, and in the scabbard it’s got some inlaid gold, gemstones. It’s a very symbol of status kind of object that she’s got at her waist.
Drake: Beautiful, beautiful. And I’m sure every now and then as you’re cutting a rug out there on the dancefloor, it gets in the way, it hits somebody, and they turn and they’re like, ‘What is—’ and they see that you’re armed. And very few people are afforded that luxury here. There are people—
Paulomi: I think once in a while she, just for effect, cocks an eyebrow. [laughs]
Drake: Yeah. ‘You wanna make something of it?’
Paulomi: [laughs]
Drake: So who are you looking for? That’s my question.
Paulomi: I am looking for Juliana Battalia, the daughter of this particular house.
Drake: Oh, Juliana. Where does Juliana hang out at one of these shindigs?
Paulomi: I think she’s almost always conducting business at these shindigs, especially because it’s the first one of the season. There is a lot of groundwork to lay, so engaging in any of the fun parts of being at a party is not on the menu for her.
Drake: No, no this is a business— this is strictly business. I mean, sure, maybe we can dance, but also business.
Paulomi: It’s more like open season for her in the hunting sense, at this point.
Drake: Perfect, I love that. Okay. So, we’re gonna follow Aurelia as she crosses off the dance floor, parts the crowd because people see, you know, a well-heeled Bavo who is, you know, clearly has purpose in their step, right? So, we’re gonna kinda get a crane shot as it lifts up above Aurelia and kinda transits over and around to kinda show the direction that Aurelia is walking. Which one of your compatriots was told to basically be her shadow, the daughter of the Battalia? We can’t leave them alone, right?
Paulomi: I think it was definitely Lucy, I think it was my little sister.
Drake: It was your sister Lucy. Okay, well Luciana, as you’re sitting in on this negotiation that’s happening just a little further away from the hurly-burly and generalized merriment that’s beginning to unfold out on the courtyard and in the ballroom, what do we see Luciana doing?
Navi: Luciana is, um, has— all the inches that she’s missing went to her sister, cause she’s about five foot tall.
Paulomi and Rhi: [laugh]
Navi: She makes up for it with a fantastically coiffed wig that’s probably about—close to a foot tall.
Drake: Good lord.
Navi: Together with her heels she actually manages to put on the presence that she would be taller than her sister standing next to her, despite being afoot shorter. So, she makes up for her lack of height with peacocking. She’s just fantastically dressed. You might mistake her for one of the blooded members of the family because she has put on just every piece of jewelry in the house, it’s even, it’s woven through her wig, she’s absolutely— and she looks so bored watching this actual daughter of the house, this actual scion of the house, going about her business. She looks as if she’s bored to tears. And every once in a while she’s casting this kind of wistful glance over towards the musicians and her bards that haven’t gotten to take the stage and she’s like, this is so, so boring and so— and at some point while she’s supposed to be watching this scion, she kind of sneaks away.
Drake: You leave?
Navi: Just, just a bit. You know, she’s occasionally looking back as she’s supposed to be paying attention, but she kind of just sneaks over and before you know it, she’s taking over the stage. She’s pushing out the boring, slow musicians that are playing their little jaunty tunes for the dancers and she is, you know, all of a sudden the stage area is filled with bards and lutes and it becomes slightly— somewhat a different party at that point.
Drake: Okay. Fair enough. Um, so there’s a little bit of a ruckus from the stage.
Navi (as Lucy): I was going to die of boredom. That girl is so very bor— where’d she go?
Drake: Do we lose her?
Rhi: [laughs]
Navi: Of course I lost her.
Drake: You lost her? Juliana Battalia, like, the scion of the house that you were told to watch. You lost her.
Navi (as Lucy): She’s— I’m— I’m sure she’s just— I don’t know. Fixing her lipstick.
Drake: Okay, so we follow your gaze back across, because you’ve gone over to gently usher the chamber musicians that were playing just a second ago and brought on a couple of Buskins, the bards who were hopefully, you know, have brought lute and fife and drum and everything to play the jauntier tunes, you brought them up on stage to play something a little bit more…
Navi: Bawdy.
Drake: Bawdy, good. [laughs]
Rhi: [laughs]
Drake: So, I’m sure that’ll—
Rhi: Alessa is just over by the buffet table and watching this with a big ol’ grin.
Paulomi: [laughs]
Drake: Yeah, because this isn’t the Twist. This is the music of The Groan right here.
Rhi: Yeah!
Drake: Like, we were putting on the gilt when really we were in The Groan, come on. So the music of the streets is beginning to actually fill the room and some members of the other houses of the Esultare here to greet and generally welcome their new… enemies among the Esultare…
[laughter]
Drake: Are now like, raising eyebrows and looking around as people seem to start having a really good time, as opposed to just like a, ‘Ah, we are having a good time here.’
Paulomi: ‘Ah, yes, a good time!’
Drake: ‘Ah yes, outstanding. Quite. Quite a bit better than, say, lying down. Or sitting. Unless one were to be sleeping. Yes, indeed. Quite.’
Rhi: [laughs]
Drake: So, I wanna know really quick, because Aurelia, you’re angling back toward where Juliana was supposed to be, but when you get there, Juliana’s gone. Luciana’s gone.
Paulomi: Mm hmm.
Drake: What’s going through your head at this moment?
Paulomi: I think I’m looking around. I feel like I’m able to spot Luciana kind of hovering around the stage.
Drake: Sure.
Paulomi: So I think I’m gonna make a beeline for her, because she is not doing what is being required of her at the moment. And it is my responsibility as older sister to correct that.
Drake: She’ll never get a ‘de Battalia’ this way, huh?
Paulomi: Mm-mm.
Drake: Okay. So, as we see her walking over, Inanna, where are you in this particular course of events? Were you even invited to this party?
Josie: I think I was invited, but I’m more— I think I’m here to kind of babysit a little bit.
Drake: Oh no.
[laughter]
Drake: Good, good. Somebody needs to babysit. [laughs]
Josie: Uh huh. So, I think I had just been patrolling, saw Luciana get up near the stage, and I lean over to Alessa and say:
Josie (as Inanna): You know, it is refreshing to not be the person who stands out the most at one of these parties.
Navi: [laughs]
Drake: Oh, I love that.
Rhi (as Alessa): Yeah, Lucy’s got a skill for it. Wait, wasn’t she supposed to be watching Juliana? Where’d she go?
Josie (as Inanna): Yes, very much so. But I am to be watching her, not her charge.
Rhi (as Alessa): Uh… well. We might wanna shift goals slightly. I don’t think it’s good for her to go missing.
Josie (as Inanna): If you say so.
Paulomi: [laughs]
Josie (as Inanna): I will seek her out.
Rhi (as Alessa): Okay. I’ll, um, do that too. I think.
Drake: Gimme just a quick word picture of what Inanna looks like here.
Josie: So, Inanna is fairly tall, low six foot something. She kind of has a Greek islands sort of complexion and very close-cropped black hair. It’s curly, but it’s not long enough to really express the curliness all that much. She’s dressed in a old-school military dress uniform. Like, black coat with some of the tail, boots and then gold trim and buttons. And then there’s something that looks like medal over her left breast that has an emerald on it. And at her right hip is— it looks like a sword you’d see in a museum from an ancient civilization, but it’s like she took it out of the museum, polished it up and put it at her hip. And it looks ceremonial anyway, so it looks very antique and very ceremonial so it’s like, ‘Does she actually use that thing?’ Should I explain what Inanna’s deal is?
Drake: Momentarily.
Josie: Okay.
Drake: So, this is a masquerade, right? So like, there’s a— this is the opening masquerade, so I think I like the idea that this a costume party, right? So there’s a little bit of almost like a, ‘Oh, I see, Inanna is dressed up as a general from the time of the overthrow of the Dread Emperor, all lo those many years ago. Oh, how clever.’ You know?
Josie: Yeah.
Rhi: [laughs]
Drake: Now, yes, please tell us what your playbook is.
Josie: Except this—[laughs] Yeah. Uh, for— some people would know that this is not a costume for Inanna, this is just how she goes about things.
Drake: It’s a Tuesday.
Josie: Because it [laughs] for you, the day the Dread Emperor fell was the most important day of your life, for me it was Tuesday.
Rhi and Drake: [laugh]
Josie: [laughs] Uh, Inanna is The Curse. So she’s an immortal kept alive by weird magic and alchemy and is bound to like, an ancient sorcerer. So, she has spent periods of time sleeping in the necropolis in the city, but is occasionally awoken by her house, now called House Battalia, for terms of service, basically. And she legitimately served an army, in the army that overthrew the Dread Emperor.
Drake: And now this revenant called back into service has to, you know, get hold of Luciana and then also maybe find the—[laughs] the wayward scion of the house that she was supposed to be taking care of.
Josie: Yep. [laughs]
Rhi: [laughs] You lead armies into battle and now…
Paulomi: You’re babysitting!
Rhi: You’re babysitting a bunch of noble heirs.
Drake: Oh, it’s so good.
Josie: Truly, a duty worthy of my skillset.
Rhi: [laughs]
Drake: So, it sounds like everybody’s gonna be kind of clumping around the stage as Luciana is getting off of it, question mark?
Navi: I think that when she sees the entire group, like, converging on her, the alarm bells in her head go off and she jumps up on stage and starts jamming with the Buskins.
Drake: Oh God.
[laughter]
Paulomi: I feel like it’s a moment where Aurelia’s about to grab her by the arm and [laughs] and can’t then, because she’s jumped up onstage.
Navi: But from over the stage, though, she sees— she sees the scion that she was supposed to be keeping an eye on kind of going through the crowd. So she’s both singing and then pointing very, like, just pointing as hard as she can towards where she wants everyone else to go. [laughs] That way!
Drake: ‘No not me, over there.’
Josie: [laughs] Inanna sees the pointing, rolls her eyes and goes to take up a position around the edge of the ballroom where she can just see the scion.
Drake: Okay.
Navi (as Lucy): Ah, that was close.
Drake: So we’ve got eyes back on the scion, which is good. The, you know, momentary dread of maybe letting something terrible happen to Juliana Battalia has kind of fallen away for a moment. I think that, you know, we can see that Juliana has moved to one of the alcoves at the back of this kind of open-air garden that adjoins the ballroom. Just kind of a place to take the air and engage in some skullduggery, which is basically what you do here in Ilrien, especially if you’re one of the scions of one of the great houses.
At this alcove, she’s sitting with two figures. One of them in house colors of House Corvetto, the old house of— you know, they call them the majestic tyrants. They are a house as old as Battalia, but one who never fell into a less prestigious place in the city. Corvetto has always been among the Esultare, it’s kind their claim to fame, and it’s because they’re just less principled and less moral than House Battalia ever has been.
Juliana is leaning forward and it looks like, you can tell even from here that her brow is furrowed and she’s shaking her head. And the other figure that she’s sitting with is, um, he’s wearing a badge over his left chest— the left of his chest, and it’s got the insignia of one of the better-known mercenary companies here in Ilrien, the Ten Hammer Regulars. Both of them are harrying Juliana, saying something that has her upset. And she is, like, almost looking over the shoulder of the Corvetto figure and almost looking for where Aurelia is. You can see that in her face, like, she’s scanning the crowd and she— does she find you?
Paulomi: I 100%, I think, am already moving in her direction.
Drake: Okay. So, you’re crossing the floor here.
Paulomi: Yeah.
Drake: Are the others coming with you?
Paulomi: I don’t think Aurelia’s paying attention to that. [laughs]
Drake: Fair enough, yeah. If they are, it’s only because they’re drawn in your wake, right?
Paulomi: Yeah.
Rhi: I think Alessa kind of sees that Inanna and Aurelia have the situation under control and is going to enjoy the change in music. She’s just gonna throw back the rest of her wine, set it aside and grab somebody to dance with, since she knows these dances a lot better.
Drake: Yeah.
Rhi: Since this is the music she grew up with.
Drake: Yeah, this is one that you’ve probably heard before. Only it’s played at double tempo and people are not sure what to do with it, but you probably know, right?
Rhi: Yeah. Dragging some poor, uh [laughs] young noble through the steps of a dance that they do not know.
Drake: It’s good. You just have one job, noble, know all the dances and appear courtly. And here you are getting swung around.
Paulomi: [laughs]
Rhi: Yep. And you know, this is a nice change of pace for Alessa. She has all too often been in the situation of not knowing the steps, so she’s enjoying this change in position, for once.
Drake: Finally, you’ve got the nobs on the back foot, I love it.
Rhi: [laughs]
Drake: Alright. So, Inanna, that leaves you. Are you following Aurelia, or are you worried about the other thing?
Josie: I think I’m still in my position where I can watch what’s happening with them, but I’m not approaching them.
Drake: Okay.
Josie: Frankly, a lot of my attention is taken up by Luciana and Alessa’s dancing, because I predate this dancing by a fair bit, so I’m like, ‘What is that…?’
[laughter]
Drake: ‘I see common lineage, but I am not familiar with the type of thing I am seeing.’
Josie: Uh huh. [laughs]
Drake: Fair enough. So it’s Aurelia crossing the floor, dodging people who are dancing raucously.
Paulomi: I think I’m pushing people at this point.
Drake: I love it.
Paulomi: [laughs]
Drake: No, no, no, I completely believe it. Like, there’s dodging until it becomes inadvisable to dodge anymore, right? And at that point, there’s punching.
Paulomi: Uh, yeah.
Drake: Shoving, shoving.
Paulomi: If you’re in the way of my straight line, then you’re going to soon not be in the way of the straight line.
Drake: Sure. By the time you get to Juliana, she has met your eyes and is— it’s not like, entreaty or anything, it’s clearly anger. It’s anger that is flashing across her face. And you see as the Corvetto follows Juliana’s sightline towards you, he reaches up and he takes off his mask. Now, this is not a thing— this is not a thing that you do in Ilrien society. Your mask is your face. If you won your mask, if your family descends from the families that overthrew the Dread Emperor and you’ve earned your mask, your mask is your family history. It’s who you are. It tells more about you than your true face. But this person reaches up, pulls off the mask, and you can tell that the— have you met the family spymaster?
Paulomi: Ooh. No, I don’t think I have.
Drake: Okay. So, the family spymaster is a man named Jean Carlo. And Jean Carlo is one of those people that is just given dispensation to be just a little bit outside of what is commonly thought of as proper in Ilrien.
Paulomi: Right, right.
Drake: And it’s clear that Jean Carlo has just dropped some kind of bomb on Juliana. And he follows her gaze towards you and he’s got sorta, um, one of those faces that’s meant to be forgotten. It’s planes and angles, but nothing stands out. He has kind of unassuming features. He is a perfect blank in people’s memory, just because of his stature, his stance, his look. And he smiles, and that goes away. Like, that indication that this is a person who exists to be forgotten. That smile is completely unforgettable because it’s all just fangs. Right? This person is— he smiles like it’s a weapon. He makes, you know, eye contact with you and he turns back to Juliana and he raps the table once and he’s like:
Drake (as Jean Carlo): You may not like it, my dear lady, but it’s true. Every word of it. And we’ve got three days, at the outside, to get ahead of it.
Drake: And he stands up and he taps the Ten Hammer Regular on the shoulder, makes way for you, puts a hand on his chest and bows, that kinda quarter bow, as you approach. He’s like:
Drake (as Jean Carlo): Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have things that I have to do to prepare. I trust that I’ve not overstepped my bounds?
Drake: And Juliana waves a hand to the air and she’s like:
Drake (as Juliana): Go then. I’m done with you. I have— Aurelia. [sighs] We might have a problem.
Paulomi: I think Aurelia will kind of give these two people that were talking to Juliana a sort of side-eye glance, and then she is fully just going to kneel in front of Juliana.
Drake: Wow.
Paulomi: And take her hand.
Paulomi (as Aurelia): What is it, my lady?
Drake: So you take her hand and she favors you with this look that will, you know, make angels weep. You can see the curl of the corner of her mouth and the softening of her eyes as she takes the hand that you have and she puts hers under yours and lifts you to your feet and in. And you’re speaking in confidence now, like, nobody outside this little alcove in the garden will ever hear this. But she whispers something endearing to you. What does she call you?
Paulomi: Ooh… I think… I think it’s we both just kind of call each other, like, “my rose”.
Drake: My rose. I like that.
Navi: Aww!
Drake: My rose. Exactly. Okay. So she pulls you in and she’s like:
Drake (as Juliana): My rose. I have disturbing news. From the House of Corvetto, we have gotten wind of some kind of a plot. Jean Carlo was spare on details, but apparently the Ten Hammer Regulars picked up one of the visiting sorts here in The Twist, somebody who was drinking overmuch, and after the first couple of sentences he was picked up and put to harder questions by the Ten Hammer Regulars. Now, the Corvetto don’t owe us much, there’s no love lost between our families, but I get the indication from Jean Carlo that they’re afraid of what might happen. That wouldn’t concern me, but this visiting sort, he was wearing our colors. Somebody, somebody is planning something and they’re doing it under the auspices of House Battalia. And there’s something about a bomb.
Paulomi: I think the bomb part definitely sends Aurelia’s eyebrows up.
Paulomi (as Aurelia): Here? Or…?
Drake (as Juliana): Maybe.
Josie: Is Inanna able to hear this?
Drake: I don’t know. I think Inanna, you know, watching, kind of riding sheepdog here, you see this kind of moment. And it could be, you know, two paramours sharing a moment, an intimate moment in the garden, but at the same time, the body language is all wrong. Like you know… you know, right? You know the body language of people who are suddenly maybe just a little bit on the back foot.
Josie: Mm hmm.
Drake: My question is, Inanna, you’re a creature as much of magic as you are of anything. What kind of power does that give you? Do you think that maybe you can overhear even when you are focusing like this?
Josie: I imagine enhanced senses is part of it.
Drake: Could be.
Paulomi: I will remind that nobody knows that we are paramours.
Drake: Oh. That is an interesting wrinkle, yeah. That’s actually a really good one. So yeah, they— considering that it is not a normal thing to see Aurelia and Juliana in any kind of intimate moment like this, yeah, that’s probably setting off alarm bells. [laughs]
Navi: So, if we wanna do that thing where you definitely just overheard something you were not supposed to overhear, because of the private aspect of this conversation, I’m here for that. I definitely—[laughs] I wasn’t expecting consequences this soon, but listen… [laughs]
Josie: I mean, Inanna’s not the sort to— Inanna’s not the sort to fuck you over about it so, like, she cares very little about who is with who at any given time. But in that case, she definitely overhears.
Rhi: [laughs]
Josie: [laughs]
Drake: If you have the choice to overhear or not, you overhear.
Josie: I think a lot of the magic keeping her alive kind of like, some things about her have just fallen away and become irrelevant over the centuries, while over things keep getting honed and honed and honed like the edge of a sword.
Drake: Oh yeah.
Josie: So I think just being animated by this magic for so long, it’s like she’s just better at her senses than anyone can be within a mortal lifetime?
Navi: It’s fully Spidey senses. It’s fully Spidey senses. [laughs]
Josie: Yeah. [laughs]
Navi: Like, ‘Oh, they’re having a conversation now,’ and then something in you is like, ‘Let’s listen in.’
Josie: Uh huh.
Drake: Curse sense is tingling.
Navi: Like, reading lips or something. [laughs] I love that.
Josie: Yeah. What really gets her attention is the mention of “bomb”, which causes her to quint and immediately start covertly checking for exits. [laughs]
Drake: Oh, okay.
Josie: In case evacuations need to happen.
Drake: Sure.
Paulomi: I think to that end too, Aurelia kind of like squeezes Juliana’s hand.
Paulomi (as Aurelia): We need… you need to leave here.
Drake (as Juliana): I can’t. This is my party.
Paulomi (as Aurelia): You must. It’s dangerous.
Drake (as Juliana): If I die here, that’s one thing. If I leave here that’s social suicide.
Paulomi (as Aurelia): [sighs]
Drake (as Juliana): What I need you to do is to ensure that it’s safe. Can… can you do that?
Paulomi: I think Aurelia’s very on edge at this point and kind of stiffly nods.
Paulomi: I… will see what I can do. Did you… [sighs] did he give you any more information than…?
Drake (as Juliana): He said something about “look within”. He said, he said before he swallowed his own tongue, he said “it will come from within”.
Paulomi (as Aurelia): I am going to say this, I know I’ve said it a thousand times, but the crypticness with which he does any of his business is infuriating.
Drake (as Juliana): I know. I know!
Rhi: [laughs]
Drake (as Juliana): But who else could I get into House Corvetto? They’re all cryptic, every single one of them—
Paulomi (as Aurelia): It’s not hard to just use words. It’s not hard to just say what you mean and— ugh. I’ll find it. Try to stay out here.
Drake (as Juliana): I will.
Paulomi (as Aurelia): If something does happen, it’ll be the safest place.
Drake (as Juliana): Yes. Okay. Be careful.
Paulomi: I think Aurelia will like, cock a smile and then go back into the party.
Drake: So, Juliana sists back down and kind of arrays herself and we swing back to watch Aurelia moving back into the party. Alessa and Luciana, the dance ends, people like, applaud, there’s a little bit of that, ‘Oh, that was rather new and that was interesting,’ kind of circulating through the ball and then somebody shouts:
Drake (as Party Guest): Another!
Drake: And the bards look over at you, like ‘Do we… should we?’ because the chamber orchestra is looking like they’re about to mount another assault.
Rhi: [laughs]
Navi (as Lucy): By the lady, yes, do not let them back on the stage. Do not let them back on the stage.
Drake: Okay, so we’re about to have—
Josie: [laughs]
Rhi: I think Alessa will catch Lucy’s eye and just give you a big wink. And I’m gonna go run interference.
Paulomi: [laughs]
Drake: Yeah! Okay.
[laughter]
Drake: So you can see that the head of the chamber orchestra is not a hugely impressively-built person. Looks like Iberican, fairly kind of swarthy in face, in general complexion and bearing. Very affronted dignity, like, this is a person who was hired to come and play the social event of the season and suddenly got bum-rushed off the stage by a bunch of low bards.
Rhi: [laughs]
Drake: And you can see he’s popping his cuffs and he’s straightening his cravat and he’s grabbed his conductors baton and he’s weighing it as like, a cudgel, and it looks like he’s about to lead an assault, right? So, what are you doing?
Rhi: Uh, I am going to grab a full glass of red wine—
Paulomi: Oh my God.
Rhi: From a passing servant.
Paulomi: Oh my God.
Rhi: I am going to make my way along the side of the stage where the orchestra is. I am going to trip, [laughs] and splash red wine all over the nice, clean white shirt of the conductor.
Drake: Oh no…
Rhi: And probably a few other people.
Drake: Oh no!
Paulomi: [laughs]
Rhi (as Alessa): Oh! Oh, sir! I’m so sorry! I have— I must have had a few too many of those. I— oh, um, let me get someone to help you clean this up.
Drake: [laughs] Oh man, I love it. Okay. Here’s my question. As you are, you know, tripping here, I want you to tell me real quick what one thing about somebody who’s dressed in the House Battalia colors, somebody who looks like they should be probably be a guard or something like that, one of the house guard, what about the uniform is most distinctive?
Rhi: I think for what Alessa is wearing, cause she is wearing, like, a gown.
Drake: Right.
Rhi: But I think that it has a sort of, like…
Drake: I’m working on something here, right?
Rhi: Yeah, like, gambeson kind of inspired like, bodice on it? Or sort of like over… not corset, but like vest sort of thing over top—
Drake: Sure, like a waistcoat?
Rhi: Kind of like— yeah, yeah. Kind of like the style and the cut of it is supposed to be reminiscent of armor.
Drake: Oh, okay.
Rhi: It’s not actually made of metal, there might be a few little like, metal details on it, but it was styled to, you know, put you in mind of armor.
Drake: Okay. So it’s clearly like, it has some kind of almost militant looking descent, right?
Rhi: Yeah, yeah.
Drake: Because we’re the house of—
Rhi: Yeah, it’s a military cut.
Drake: Sure, okay.
Rhi: [laughs]
Drake: My question is, that guy who is walking behind the man you just splashed a whole bunch of wine on is dressed like one of your house guard or a serving man of the house, but something about his outfit strikes you as wrong. What is it?
Rhi: Oh…
Drake: Is it the bloodstain?
Rhi: [laughs] I mean, it’s probably the bloodstain, yeah!
[laughter]
Drake: I mean, blink and you’d miss it, right?
Rhi: That’ll do it. [laughs]
Drake: Blink and you’d miss it. Because it’s not much, right? It’s just— like, it could easily be mistaken as like, ‘oh, he was a little too overactive at the jam table’.
Rhi: [laughs] Ah yeah, the jam buffet.
[laughter]
Josie: We have a table for that.
Paulomi: I love the notion that splash zone of this wine spill almost disguises the bloodstain.
Drake: Exactly, that’s what I’m saying.
Rhi: Yeah, yeah. For a second, Alessa’s just like—
Drake: ‘Oh man, I got—’
Rhi: Did I get him with wine?
Drake: There’s some serious distance on that one.
Rhi: Yeah. [laughs]
Drake: Because it’s not much.
Rhi: ‘I didn’t mean to throw it—’
Drake: It’s not much. It’s just a little bit, and it’s as he’s moving his arm to lift a tray, right? He’s lifting a tray and he’s got just a little bit underneath like, just under the armpit, right between the second and third ribs, right? Like, it’s got just a small patch that is dark with blood.
Navi: Uh oh!
Rhi: I think Alessa is, for the moment, just gonna extricate herself form the orchestra and try to trail this guy a little bit.
Drake: Yeah, I don’t think this orchestra conductor’s gonna let you. Like, basically you’ve just doused him with red wine and he is just all affronted indignation. But I think at this point we can probably roll engagement and see how it goes.
Rhi: Oh!
Josie: Oh, yeah.
Navi: [sings] Rolling time!
Rhi: Oh yeah, this is a game with dice, huh?
Drake: It is a game with dice.
Josie: [laughs]
Drake: See, we get there eventually.
Paulomi: [laughs]
Rhi: Yeah. [laughs]
Drake: Okay. So, there are a couple of ways that we might handle this, and let me just kinda walk you through the ideas here. Because we could, we could make this an all-out we are going to very brazenly deal with whatever threat this gentleman and people like him at our event, these party-crashers, what they might do, in a very overt kinda way. We might, you know, find some kinda sneaky way to suborn their plan. We might, you know, handle this socially in that we are going to convince some people that they need to end the party early, before anything bad can happen. We can do this kinda sneaky, in a way that we might still savage what is left of the evening so that everything, our grand entrance to the social stage of Ilrien goes off without a hitch. Or I’m open to any other kind of ideas as to how you guys might want to handle this. So, that being said, what do we think our plan is here?
Navi: Lucy would definitely vote for it being a stealth plan, because she’d wanna salvage the party. She wants to make sure that everybody has a great time and remembers how amazing she was. She doesn’t want everybody thinking about the death that they almost endured.
Paulomi: Yeah, I think Aurelia’s in the same boat, if only because Juliana wants to keep the party going.
Drake: Mm.
Josie: Yeah, I can agree with stealth. Inanna herself is going to be very direct, but if other people aren’t looking to break the party, she won’t either.
Drake: Okay, fair enough. So it sounds like we’re gonna try and salvage what’s left of the evening here.
Josie: Mm hmm.
Rhi: Yes. [laughs]
Paulomi: We have a reputation to uphold, Battalia can’t be seen as not having control of its own.
Drake: That’s fair. Yeah, if the old house or martial valor can’t keep some party-crashers out and this all ends with us all getting blown sky-high, that’s bad on the house is what that is. Like, that’s not upholding the greatest virtues of the house. [laughs] So we’re gonna try and salvage what’s left of the evening. We know that Corvetto’s in on, or at least aware of what’s going on here, so we know that we’re probably swinging outside our weight class, but other than that, we’re kind of on the edge, aren’t we?
Navi: Where is Corvetto currently sitting in ranks of Esultare?
Drake: Corvetto, currently in the ranks of the Esultare, is… top of the heap.
Navi: They are… they are the first house?
Drake: They are the first house of Ilrein.
Navi: So they would know.
Drake: Well, I mean, if you’re the first house of Ilrein you should know everything. Otherwise, you don’t stay the house— the first house of Ilrein for long, right? So, if Corvetto is involved, then it might get a little it more tenuous than we like, but maybe Corvetto’s not even involved. They just know.
Navi: And aren’t doing anything.
Drake: [laughs]
Navi: Very unfriendly welcome to the Esultare.
Drake: Exactly. Okay, as a stealth errand, we are going to start with, I think probably— we’ll start with two dice, but I’m gonna take one for secrets. Who wants to make the fortune roll for me?
Paulomi: Who’s lucky?
Navi: Ooh…
Josie: Let’s put it on Rhi, because Rhi rolls it all for [laughs] for our other podcasts.
Drake: Awesome. Oh, that’s fine.
Rhi: Oh no.
Navi: [laughs]
Rhi: Oh no!
Drake: Oh it’s gonna be fine, it’s gonna be fine.
Rhi: That’s a 2!
Drake: It’s gonna be fine.
Rhi: That’s bad.
Drake: No, it’s gonna be fine.
[laughter]
Drake: Alright, so with a 2 here we’re gonna start in a desperate situation, which means that at this point, like, it becomes clear as you’re looking around, you don’t recognize any of the guards here. You don’t recognize a single person.
Navi: [laughs] Shit!
Rhi: Oh no…
Drake: You don’t recognize a single person who is wearing a House Battalia livery and does not hold the House Battalia name.
Navi: [laughs] Fuck!
Drake: Like, you are— and it’s clear that like, one of them is looking at you as you made the discovery, and this orchestra conductor in front of you is just, with aggrieved dignity, just dressing you down:
Drake (as Conductor): I cannot believe the way that you have just sullied me in front of all of these people and everything that I have stood for all of this time. I have come here on behalf of your house, you understand? I am very well-thought-of here! I am— do you even know my name?!
Rhi: I think Alessa is just like, ‘Okay, I need to defuse this right now so I can deal with bigger problems,’ so I am gonna try for Consort.
Drake: Okay.
Rhi: Um, to basically just put on the kindest, most gracious smile that I can. And I think I wanna make the roll before I figure out what I say. [laughs] So I can tailor it.
Drake: I’m into that. The idea that you’re trying to defuse this, like, when you’re rapidly— it’s rapidly becoming clear that you are surrounded by people who mean you harm. To include the person that you’re trying to talk down from the ledge here, I think we’re starting in a desperate position.
Rhi: Yeah. What’s my effect looking like?
Drake: I think your effect here is standard. I think you might mollify him and tell him that this is all just a big misunderstanding, I tripped, I’m very sorry, here, let me help you, I have to go and get, you know, towels or whatever.
Paulomi: [laughs]
Rhi: Yeah.
Drake: So you can extricate yourself from this situation, standard effect.
Rhi: Okay. Um… do I wanna push myself? Nah. We’ll just start with 2d6 roll… 2 again.
Drake: It’s not great. That’s ok.
Rhi: Not great!
Drake: It’s fine.
Rhi: This is bad!
Drake: I think at this point, like, the guy with the stain is gone. Like, he’s just vanished into the crowd, but you see there are a couple of other Battalia people, or Battalia imposters, or whatever they might be, people that you don’t recognize from around the house in Battalia uniforms, circulating, serving drinks, looking at each other every so often, nodding. And you can tell that whatever’s going on, there’s a clock that’s just started. But this orchestra conductor, at this point he grabs your arm. He takes you by the upper part of the arm and he’s like:
Drake (as Conductor): I need you to move her.
Drake: And he points up towards where Luciana is still in the midst of— are you singing? Are you playing?
Navi: I think at this time she’s just rocking out on her, on like a lute she’s jacked from one of the Buskins and like, she’s gone full Prince.
Rhi: [laughs] I’m just picturing you headbanging with a foot-tall wig, and it’s really good.
[laughter]
Paulomi: It’s really on there!
Drake: She’s on the third verse of like, Aubergine Drizzle…
[loud laughter]
Josie: Can I intervene?
Drake: Yeah, absolutely you can intervene. What are you doing?
Rhi: In me getting grabbed?
Josie: I— yeah. I think as soon as the conductor grabs Alessa, Inanna is there gently removing the guy’s hand from Alessa’s arm, just like—
Paulomi: I think Inanna and Aurelia appear at the same time.
Rhi: [laughs]
Drake: Just an acre of uppercut just coming for this dude.
Paulomi: Uh huh.
Navi: I think at this point, Luciana’s on the stage kinda of watching what’s happening, and like, she’s like, ‘Yeah, this is good interference,’ in her mind she’s mentally high-fiving her team there, but then one of the house guards walks by and she goes, ‘Ohh, nice butt. I don’t recognize that butt.’
[loud peals of laughter]
Navi: And now there’s a problem.
Rhi: I know every butt in this house. Not matching. [laughs]
Josie: [breathlessly laughing]
Rhi: And I have not seen that butt before.
Paulomi: [laughs]
Drake: So you don’t go immediately to new hire butt, you go to traitor butt.
[laughter]
Navi: Yeah, like that’s… that’s strange. How could I not know someone’s—
Josie: Episode 3, The Traitorous Butt.
[laughter]
Paulomi: “It was your butt that gave you away, sir!”
Drake: “Just one more thing. I know every butt in this town.”
[laughter continues and gradually dies down]
Drake: It’s a strange butt.
Josie: So, I think Inanna and Aurelia just like, appear next to Alessa and Inanna just, with just two fingers, removes the guy’s hand from Alessa’s arm and is like:
Josie (as Inanna): I do not know your name either, but this is a very improper way to introduce oneself.
Drake: That’s fair, yeah. And I mean, dressed as you are and everything and clearly armed, he looks you— he starts like, at your shin boots, right? And he looks up and he likes every inch just a little bit less.
Josie: [laughs]
Drake: And there are a lot between your shin boots and the top of your head, right? And as he’s look— like, he’s wilting, just wilting in front of you.
Paulomi: [laughs]
Drake: His moustache looks sadder.
Paulomi: When his gaze reaches the top of Inanna, Aurelia’s gonna put a hand on his shoulder:
Paulomi (as Aurelia): I think it’s time for you to take a walk, friend.
Drake: Like, he wants to argue, but at the same time, like, he knows that this is suddenly like, he should not have escalated to any kind of physical conflict when there’s this waiting for him.
Paulomi (as Aurelia): I can come with you. Or you can go alone.
Drake: He holds up his hands in a conciliatory gesture, he’s like:
Drake (as Conductor): Very sorry. I, um, my passions run close to the surface. I’m an artist. And… I… yeah. I think that I will… I’ll go and cool off. I— thank you. Good. Yes. Um. Just, understand that I’m not happy with the way that tonight has gone. Convey my regrets to the House of Battalia.
Drake: And he’s just kinda gritting his teeth and still hands up, conciliatory. Brow beetled, moustache wilting as he like, he backs away and turns around and like, makes a ‘circle up’ gestures to his musicians, who are all looking at him like, ‘What just happened?’
Rhi: [laughs]
Josie: Inanna doesn’t really express it all that much, but seeing him flounder and cower a little bit before them just brings the slightest hint of a smirk to the corner of her mouth.
Navi: [laughs]
Drake: Oh yeah.
Josie: [laughs] Um, and then she’s gonna look up at Luciana on stage and give a little low whistle and try and indicate the, uh, you said it was a patio where people go to do subterfuge?
Drake: Yeah, it’s like a treachery garden, right?
[laughter]
Josie: Yeah, and she’ll indicate towards the treachery garden. She’s gonna try and get everyone into one place so they can talk.
Drake: Yeah, we’re gonna circle up. So I am… there we go. Alright. Um, just had to, you know, mark a clock here.
Paulomi: Uh oh.
Rhi: Yeah.
Drake: So as we’re kinda following our Coterie across the floor to the treachery garden, what is the general tenor of the evening? Because the orchestra has left, kind of in a hurry, the Buskins on the stage are playing raucous and bawdy tunes at the event of the season. But this is one of those, these masquerades where if you’ve got a costume and you show up, you’re like, invited. This is the coming out party where everybody is invited to come and see what Battalia is all about. And right now, it’s bawdy tunes and maybe, you know, throwing out the orchestra. Do you think people are impressed?
Paulomi: I feel like that’s pretty accurate to House Battalia.
Drake: I think there’s definitely a case for that.
Rhi: I feel like if House Battalia has kind of been on the down and out recently, this is what people would expect of them.
Drake: Oh.
Rhi: Which maybe isn’t good.
Drake: It might win you some favor among, like, the citizenry. But do you think the Esultare is impressed?
Navi: I think they’re probably mad.
Rhi: Probably not… [laughs]
Drake: Yeah, like, the powers that be probably are looking at this like, now we have another Bastien. [laughs]
Paulomi: Oh, House Bastien’s having a great time, though.
Drake: Oh yeah, House Bastien, the champions of the common people, are out there on the dance floor every bit as at home amongst it as Alessa is. You know, the stuffy Elanda and the Al-Mari and the Corvetto definitely are not at all having fun right now. Like, they had a dance card and it said what the names of the dances were, and they’ve been preparing for weeks. This is…
Rhi: [laughs]
Navi: Oh no, what is House Lo— never mind.
Drake: We don’t even talk about House Lovell. House Lovell, the arcane gossip mongers, are probably never going to stop talking about this.
Paulomi: I’m sorry that you’re all going to have to remember a fantastic party.
Drake: [laughs] It’s more like a keger than anything, yeah.
Rhi: [laughs]
Paulomi: With very fine gowns.
Drake: Very fine gowns and keg-stands.
Navi: Keger with fine gowns, absolutely fantastic.
Drake: So out here on the patio here, the attached garden with all of its small alcoves and everything, who’s chairing the catch-up meeting here?
Josie: I think Inanna says:
Josie (as Inanna): Aurelia, please get the other two up to speed on what you have learned tonight.
Josie: Clearly indicating that she overheard.
Paulomi: Yeah, Aurelia definitely gives Inanna a look, but just kind of pockets that for later.
Josie: [laughs]
Paulomi (as Aurelia): I’ll start with the worst news. There’s a bomb.
Navi (as Lucy): A what now?
Paulomi (as Aurelia): It’s probably the Corvetto’s fault. Also out spymaster cannot speak straight, and it is extremely frustrating.
Rhi (as Alessa): Have you all realized that none of the guards here are our normal people?
Paulomi (as Aurelia): What?
Rhi (as Alessa): Also, one of them, I saw him pick up a tray and it looked like there was a bloodstain under his arm.
Navi (as Lucy): [to herself] I knew that was a strange butt!
Rhi (as Alessa): The sort of place if you were aiming for someone’s heart.
Navi: At that point I think Lucy’s looking around at all of the guards and they’re all strange.
Drake: [laughs] All strange butts.
Josie (as Inanna): I will take your word for it. The guards are so transient to me anyway that I don’t really take much notice.
Drake: How long did you have to work with the other members of the Coterie before you started referring to them by names?
Josie: Probably a while. [laughs]
[laughter]
Josie: Because of the thing I have going on with Alessa, I definitely ref— I kept almost mistakenly calling her another name, but learned Alessa pretty quick. The others, eh, it took me a moment.
Rhi: [laughs]
Drake: Fair enough. Okay. So, clearly things are not good here. And like, the powers that be, the heads of the actual House Battalia, are due here within, you know, the next hour or so. Time is ticking, so if we’re going to make this place safe with our plan of attack here, we’re all up to speed, but like, out there the party’s winding up. It’s not winding down. The guests of honor are due to arrive.
Josie (as Inanna): We need to locate the bomb, and those of us who are not on that task need to make it clear to the imposters that they cannot act tonight.
Navi: How about we start with ghosting one? You know, grab them and have a quiet conversation in the dark and terrifying cells?
Rhi: That’s what I was thinking. A conversation is probably a good place to start. Because I have no idea where, uh, there’s a lot of ground to cover if we’re looking for explosives.
Drake: Sure. Yeah, it’s not a small house, is it.
Navi: It’s probably pretty sizeable, honestly.
Drake: I imagine kind of like a, um, somewhere in between a old-fashioned English manor house and the palace at Versailles, right? Somewhere between there.
Rhi: [laughs]
Paulomi: There’s definitely sprawling gardens, to say the least.
Rhi: Yeah.
Drake: For treachery.
Paulomi: Treachery gardens.
Rhi: Lots of treachery in these gardens.
Josie (as Inanna): Luciana, would your talents be of assistance in locating the device?
Navi (as Lucy): Perhaps.
Navi: I was just about to say, I think now’s a good time for a Survey.
Drake: Ooh.
Navi: Kind of ping, just watch all of the interactions between the guards moving around and see if I can figure out like, an ebb or flow, like if they’re— if they’re converging on anyone in particular, if there’s anyone it looks like they’re getting their orders from?
Drake: Sure, yeah, absolutely. That makes sense. I think—
Navi: Would that be a Study? Would that be better with a Study, because I’m looking for something very specific?
Drake: I think if you are trying to draw conclusions, that’s a Study. If you just need to know what the general ebb and flow is, like if you wanna know what they’re intending, what their intentions are, I would say Study, but if you’re looking more for what their operation here is, like, if you needed to know where they were gonna be in a minute, I would say Survey.
Navi: Okay. Yeah, so this is going to be a Survey then, cause that’s what I’m shooting for and let’s see… I probably wanna get some more dice here so…
Drake: I mean, they’re available to you.
Navi: Oh! Oh, is there a Lady’s Favor?
Drake: There’s always a Lady’s Favor.
Navi: What would be the Lady’s Favor in this scenario?
Drake: The Lady’s Favor is double-sided. So I think that at this point the uh, the Lady’s Favor is that Juliana will be in the actual ballroom when the doors are locked.
Paulomi: Oh no!
Navi: Well, she wanted to go down with the ship anyways.
Drake: Fair.
Paulomi: I gave specific instructions. Nobody listens to my specific instructions.
Navi: [laughs] I will take that Devil’s Bargain. What is my position here? I’m controlled, right?
Drake: Right now, we’re controlled. Uh yeah, I think it’s standard effect.
Navi: One die for my Lady’s Favor.
Drake: Okay.
Navi: What is this?! 2 again.
Drake: And before—
Paulomi: Oh my God.
Navi: We’ve only rolled 2s.
Paulomi: We’re cursed.
Drake: So as you are looking at the guards, the guards with the strange butts, you see that they are moving in no real predictable pattern. They’re just sort of— like, it’s almost like this could be a piece of performance art. Like, Walk Casual, or Attract as Little Attention as Possible On Ice, right?
Navi: Mm hmm.
Paulomi: [laughs]
Drake: [laughs] The ballroom has a couple of guards that are just sort of circling the outside, keeping an eye on the guests and each other at the same time. But you do notice that a couple of them are moving to the doors of the treachery garden right now. Like, the big heavy carved mahogany doors, these things that House Battalia, being the house of martial valor, there’s a little bit of the fortification about everything that House Battalia does, and these look like they could withstand a siege if they needed to. And it’s at that moment that you see them, like, moving the bolts that hold them open.
Navi: Have you ever gotten yourself in a situation where you wonder how it got away form you? Because it was a really good time a minute ago, and now I’m watching the bolts close and this party’s about to go to hell.
Rhi: What?
Drake: Yeah, they’re swinging— they’re about to swing the doors closed, keeping you guys— the people who are inside inside and the people who are outside outside. Who’s in motion?
Josie: Inanna is already moving to— she is running over to grab one of the guys and says:
Josie (as Inanna): Stop. Keep it open.
Drake: I wonder if you can get there in time.
Josie: Uh huh? [laughs]
Navi: Ooh.
Josie: Perhaps determined by some kind of roll?
Drake: I would say so, yeah.
Paulomi: Hmm.
Josie: Hmm.
Rhi: As if this were some sort of game.
Drake: That we are playing.
Paulomi: While you roll that, I feel like Aurelia doesn’t even stop to have a conversation. I think she just decks the other guy in the face.
Josie: [laughs]
Drake: You know what? I like both of these.
Rhi: Ah, the stealth lasted for three seconds. [laughs]
Drake: One might be a setup for the other, honestly, the way that we’re doing this here. So who—
Josie: Honestly, if she’s getting there, can I be doing Command?
Drake: Oh yeah.
Josie: Because I’m just trying to hold authority over them.
Paulomi: Love it.
Drake: Yeah.
Paulomi: Into it.
Drake: Absolutely.
Paulomi: All about it.
Drake: So, do you think that the Command is a setup to the decking, or the decking is a setup to Command?
Paulomi: I think it’s Command is setup to decking.
Josie: Yes.
Drake: That sounds right.
Josie: [laughs]
Drake: That sounds right. Okay, so let’s see the setup here, Inanna. In your firmest undying Command voice.
Josie: How do setup rolls work? You just roll it and if you succeed you…?
Drake: Yeah, exactly. So basically, what it does is it’s determining what position and effect Aurelia might have in decking this guy and getting inside before all the doors are shut and we have to find another way in.
Josie: I got a 4.
Drake: A 4. Good. In that case, like, as you’re calling out to these guards who are pulling up the blots that hold the doors open so that they can be closed and then presumably bolted from the inside, one of them stops and is turning in your direction. And like, there’s a wry smile that’s kind of crossing his face as he’s like, readying a witty rejoinder, but at this point Aurelia, you have risky and standard effect to deck this guy.
Josie: [laughs]
Paulomi: [laughs] This is gonna be… I feel like this is a Wreck.
Drake: Yeah. No, I could see a Wreck here. You’re about to—
Paulomi: So risky and standard.
Drake: Use sudden violence to overcome an obstacle.
Paulomi: And bonus die? No, right?
Drake: You can push yourself, you can take a Lady’s Favor.
Paulomi: I’m not gonna push myself. I feel like— I feel pretty confident. Yeah. A 6 and a 3.
Drake: 6 and a 3, that’ll do it. Cause, you know, as long as you roll 6s I can’t hurt you.
Rhi: [laughs]
Drake: So yeah, as this guy is like, his wry smile is crinkling at the corners of him mouth as he’s turning to the immortal revenant that is telling him to stand fast, he gets his mouth open just a little bit and then like, your fist connects with his chin and you hear the click of teeth.
Paulomi: Fully, like, white-gloved fist just rocks into his chin. [laughs]
Drake: Oh yeah, and his head snaps back and just, boneless, down to the floor. Like, goodnight.
Paulomi: [laughs]
Drake: The other guy is, like, he’s holding up his hands and he’s backing away, but all the other doors are slamming shut. And then there’s this strange, kind of not a boom, but like a pop that happens somewhere in the middle of the room. And there’s a little bit of like, almost a low-lying mist that begins to kinda seep up through the floors.
Rhi: Oh, crap.
Drake: What are we doing?
Paulomi: I’m gonna grab the other guy that’s backing away by the collar and just keep him here.
Drake: Yeah. He’s um, at this point, he licks his lips one time, he’s got his hands up and he’s shaking his head and he’s like:
Drake (as Guard): Look, I just, I took the coin and this is nothing against you, it’s just a job.
Paulomi: I’m gonna slap him for good measure. [laughs]
Drake: He is duly slapped.
Josie: So, this isn’t the guy you decked, it’s the other guy?
Paulomi: Yeah.
Drake: No, the guy she decked is on the floor having night-night times.
Paulomi: That light is out. [laughs] He’s just sleeping.
Navi: Are they able to keep that door open? Are they keeping the door open or—
Drake: Yeah, right now the door’s still open.
Josie: I think Inanna wants to pull out her sword, just stab the downed guy—
Drake: Oh my God.
Josie: To try and kill him.
Paulomi: [bursts out laughing]
Navi: They did things differently back then!
Josie: I’ll look the other guy in the eyes and says:
Josie (as Inanna): No mercy for traitors.
## Outro [01.04.07]
Thanks for listening. The coterie of House Battalia will return in two weeks. In the meantime, check out our other shows on clevercorvids.net and follow us on Twitter @clever_corvids.
Court of Blades was GM’d by Shawn Drake. Follow him on twitter @drakeanddice.
Alessa Cavalcante was played by Rhi, who also edited and produced the show. Follow her on Twitter @Rhiannon42, and check out her accessibility work at rpgskillcheck.net.
Aurelia Fiorelli di Battalia was played by Paulomi Pratap. She’s the art director of Descent into Midnight, and you can see more of her work on her website paulomipratap.com and follow her on Twitter @paulomisp.
Inanna was played by Josie. Follow her on Twitter @DragonGirlJosie, and check out her art portfolio at josie-art.com.
Luciana Fiorelli was played by Navi Drake. Follow her on Twitter @navimusing.
The opening and closing credits music is Epilogue, by Dee Yan-Key, and is used under a Creative Commons License. Court of Blades is a Forged in the Dark game and is the creation of A Couple of Drakes. More information about the game can be found on their website acoupleofdrakes.com.
## Blooper [01.05.38]
Drake: At least you think it’s blood.
Rhi: Okay.
Drake: It could be blood. It may not be blood.
Rhi: Yeah.
Josie: There will be blood.
Rhi: Um…[laughs]
Paulomi: Court of Blades, that’s the title card. [laughs]
Navi: [laughs] That’s where it comes in.
Josie: Episode 2: Jam Buffet.
[laughter]
Drake: Look, we’re jammin’ at the buffet, it’s a jam buffet.
Josie: [laughs]