Transcribed by Michelle Kelly.
## Intro
Rhi: Welcome back to Ilrien. Thank you again for joining us. If you’re enjoying this mini-series, please tell people about it on social media, and if you’re not already listening to our main show, The City That Never Dies, I highly recommend you check it out. I think you’ll like it a lot.
In addition, next month, we’re launching a second, brand-new Forged in the Dark actual play show called Demon: Love and Hellfire. It starts on June 7th on clevercorvids.net, and we hope you can join us there, too.
This episode sees the conclusion of our first errand with the House Battalia coterie. We’ve got four more episodes after this one, though, so don’t worry–there are plenty more adventures ahead!
Next, Aki from The City That Never Dies is going to tell us about this month’s featured charity.
Aki: Hey, it’s Aki, and our chosen charity of the month is Red Canary Song, a grassroots collective of Asian and migrant sex workers organizing trans-nationally. Red Canary Song centers base-building with migrant workers through a labor rights framework and mutual aid. We believe that full decriminalization is necessary for labor organizing and anti-trafficking. As May is Asian and Pacific Islander Heritage Month, what better way to promote the cause than one that affects my people directly? Get involved now by visiting redcanarysong.net. That is redcanarysong.net. Thanks.
Rhi: I also want to encourage you to check out an amazing RPG streaming event that’s being hosted by Transplanar RPG and TTRPG Gifs on May 27 and 28. It’s going to feature panels and streamed games by Asian and Black creatives in games, including our very own Aki, and they’ll be raising money for some excellent charities along the way. Put it on your calendars and plan to tune in and donate if you’re able.
Now then. Let’s get started, shall we?
## Story continues [00.02.21]
Josie: I think Inanna wants to pull out her sword, just stab the downed guy—
Drake: Oh my God.
Josie: To try and kill him.
Paulomi: [gasps] [laughs]
Navi: They did things differently back then!
Josie: I’ll look the other guy in eyes and says:
Josie: No mercy for traitors.
Drake: Oh my God!
Navi: Holy shit! This escalated so quickly. [laughs]
Josie: There’s not death bell, I can do this shit. [laughs]
Rhi: [laughs]
Paulomi: This escalated so quickly.
Drake: People can murder as many people are they want here.
Josie: Uh huh. [laughs]
Navi: I think Lucy wants to— I’m gonna try and take control of the crowd before a stampede happens.
Rhi: Yes, I think—
Navi: Because the mist is starting to come, I see that my team has kind of secured one exit. If anybody’s starting to panic, it’s just kind of on the fringes, I think, at this point. Like, nobody’s really… like, I don’t think the vast majority have been fully alerted to the— what’s happening, right?
Drake: Let me paint you a word picture, because the mist here is beautiful. It’s almost opalescent silver as it’s rising up out of the cut stones beneath you. It’s this very delicate, almost like a shimmer in the air, almost like heat haze, right? Like, the people who are seeing it, what you see happening on the dance floor, like, people are applauding. They think its some kind of effect for your ball here, right? And like, there’s some very polite:
Drake (as Party Guest): [claps lightly] Oh! Marvelous!
Drake: You know, happening in the background. And then, like, you can see that one of the people who’s closest to the center of the dancefloor, it kind of traces up their calves and kinda winds around their knees and up to their thighs. And like, it’s not all rising at the same rate, like it’s clear that it’s got this person. And they’re looking down, and they’re not afraid, they’re not in pain or anything like that. Instead a very kind of dreamy, almost trance-like look comes over their face. And they just— they were dancing and now they’re just stopping. And that is sort of happening around the dancefloor right now.
Navi: So, I wanna do a— I wanna do a bit of a Channel here and see if I can identify this as being, um, alchemical in nature or, um, arcane in nature.
Drake: Mm hmm. You’re a Knack.
Navi: Yeah, so I’m looking at it and going, ‘That’s wrong’, so just, you know, going through her head trying to put together the pieces and see if it’s something that she recognizes.
Drake: Okay, yeah.
Navi: And uh, what am I rolling?
Drake: Right now, how much do you think time is a factor?
Navi: Considering that like, the first person’s already gone doe-eyed, it’s probably a factor.
Drake: Probably a factor. So we’re gonna say risky, because you ’re gonna be focusing mostly on a snap decision here.
Navi: Uh huh. Let’s just see what happens.
Drake: Okay. Okay, phew! So, with a 5 and a 2 you are looking at this thing and— tell me what it looks like when you’re Channeling here. Like, what does it look like when Luciana calls for power?
Navi: I think it’s pretty, it’s pretty subtle, if no one’s really paying attention. I think it’s one of those things where you’d have to be looking, because it’s not overly flashy, but something— something shifts, like, her gaze becomes sort of vacant, like she’s not quite— when you look at someone and something’s very off-putting about them? Like you’re not certain there’s anybody home in there, there’s actual soul in there. I think that’s kind of the feeling that you get when she’s channeling. Like, she ceases to feel human. But you have to be paying attention.
Drake: So sort of the same way that person who is standing in the center of the dancefloor? Kind of looks like nobody’s home there for a second?
Navi: Mm hmm.
Drake: But just for a second for you, right?
Navi: Yeah.
Drake: Excellent. That tells me something about the world, doesn’t it? So, as you’re looking here, you’re seeing that this is a working that you’re familiar with. This is, um, we’re gonna call this… um… no, I don’t think there’ s a name for this. This is a reagent that usually is used as— in one form. But this is unthinkable, the thing that is happening here. What this is doing is this is turning these people into almost like magic batteries. They’re taking any latent knack, any kind of magical touch about these people and they’re siphoning it off.
Navi: I suspect they’re trying to power something with it.
Drake: You would assume that would probably be the case.
Navi: Bomb. [pronounced like ‘bam’]
Drake: It’s a bam.
Paulomi: [laughs] Baym!
Navi: Um, okay, then I guess…
Josie: Very complicated bomb.
Navi: The next— yeah, no kidding right? Jeez.
Drake: Look, this is a baroque civilization here. [laughs]
Josie: [laughs]
Rhi: We don’t just take a barrel of gunpowder and pout it in a closet, we have standards!
Drake: Nobody remembers that. That happened several seasons ago and now it’s gauche.
Navi: If there aren’t at least six steps, are we even conspiring at that point?
Drake: Oh no, certainly not.
Rhi: Yeah. [laughs]
Navi: Uh, okay. Then I’m going to… I think that, so Luciana’s watching what happens to them, puts it together, and she yells to Inanna:
Navi (as Lucy): Get everyone out!
Navi: And then I’m going to pop my Lady’s Kiss and use my vulgar display of power, and I’m going to shut the magic off.
Drake: [disbelief] You’re going to turn the magic off?
Navi: I’m going to rend the weave.
Josie: [laughs]
Drake: [laughs] ‘How very interesting, your plan contingent on all the magic. What happens if we… turn the magic off?’
Navi: [laughs]
Drake: Okay. So, with a vulgar display of power and your Lady’s Kiss. The Lady’s Kiss is a charm that is proof against, like, wardens of magic, right?
Navi: Yes.
Drake: So, that makes sense. I think…
Navi: It’s sort of a— I think she uses it, she kinda wields it like a focus.
Drake: Oh.
Navi: To kind of boost what she’s attempting to do.
Drake: Tell me what it looks like.
Navi: I think hers is fairly unique. I don’t think it’s, um, I don’t think Knacks each have something that is like, specific to maybe the Scholam or whatever, I think that your charm is probably something you choose yourself and has to be imbued. I think that’s maybe part of the process of graduating from knackery, from the Scholam Naturalis is that you actually have to imbue something. So her charm is… I think it’s an old symbol of the house. Like, Fiorrelli, they actually, they were the artists who coined the crocus on the coins, that’s why the coins are called the fiorre, it’s after their family, right?
Drake: Oh my God, really?
Navi: Yeah, so she’s very proud of that fact. So she has this charm that’s one of the first minted fiorres.
Drake: And Aurelia, you wanna be a Battalia? [laughs]
Paulomi: Well… [laughs]
Drake: Like, your name’s on the money.
Paulomi: [laughs]
Navi: You can be in the Esultare, or like, you can be an artist.
Drake: Okay, fair, I understand. They can just be the backbone of the city, that’s fine.
[laughter]
Drake: Okay, cool. So you pull out this minted crocus and Channel through, and you rend the weave. And Inanna, what does it feel like when the magic turns off all around you?
Josie: It’s kinda like… it’s a little bit like you are now breathing manually.
Drake: Oh no! [laughs]
Navi: [gasps] Is she human right now? Does she feel human right now?
Josie: Well, no. It’s more like…
[laughter]
Drake: Let’s not be ridiculous.
Josie: I’m naturally in tune with whatever’s in the air around me. But then that just stops and cuts out. So now I’m acutely aware of all the forces keeping me going internally.
Drake: You’re actively holding up your jaw right now.
Navi: [laughs]
Josie: Yes.
Drake: [laughs] Oh no.
Josie: So now I’m like actively maintaining all of that magic, because all that’s left, that’s all I can perceive at the moment.
Drake: Well, that can’t be comfortable.
Josie: It’s not comfortable. [laughs]
Drake: But you’ve got a job to do right now, right?
Josie: Yeah. So, Inanna actually stumbles a bit and shows some amount of surprise. Because I’m not sure she knew Luciana could do that. And she sheaths her sword from stabbing the guy and her sword is, of course, a pure black blade.
Drake: Oh God.
Josie: And any of the blood from the guy, it just immediately drips off it. Like, it can’t gain any purchase.
Drake: That’s so cool.
Josie: So she shakes her head, gathers herself, sheaths her sword and moves to get up on stage in the ballroom, so she has a place to announce to people.
Drake: And what do you tell them?
Rhi: Um…
Drake: I’m sorry, are you in motion as well?
Rhi: Yeah, yeah. I think Alessa is gonna start opening windows one way or another. [laughs] If I can push them open, I’ll push them open. But glass is breakable.
Drake: It sure is. And that’s probably what it’s gonna come down to. There’s— looks like the guards circulating have been fairly busy. There’s kind of a tacky yellow-white substance that has been pushed into the jambs and turned almost into quick-fire clay. They’re jammed.
Rhi: Okay. Well, I am going to, from underneath my military-style bodice, pull out… I think it’s essentially just like, a collapsible baton.
Drake: [laughing] Okay!
Navi: [laughs]
Rhi: I’m gonna mark fine wrecking tools! And I’m gonna start breaking things.
Drake: They called that a Goodnight back in The Twist, right?
Rhi: Yeah.
Drake: [laughs] Awesome. We’re gonna get the story on how you found one of those in this particular life.
Rhi: Oh, I just bought one last time I went and visited my mom.
Drake: Oh God, yes.
Rhi: [laughs] I go back to have weekly dinners with Mom in The Twist. [laughs] Fill her in on all the gossip.
Drake: So, to the tune of breaking glass, Inanna mounts the stage and um, [laughs] says what?
Josie (as Inanna): I apologize, honored guests, but due to a matter of security, I must ask that you leave this way. Promptly.
Josie: And she’ll gesture to the open door, because she knows the other ones are locked at the moment.
Drake: Yeah. It’s like halfway between like, airline flight attendant and drill sergeant. That’s the tone that I’m getting, here.
Rhi: [laughs]
Josie: Yes. Yeah, exactly. There’s a bit of airline attendant in there.
Drake: ‘You will find the exits are at your right’ [laughs]
Paulomi: Two finger pointing. [laughs]
Drake: ‘Also, you may find broken glass that way and that way.’
Josie: ‘Walk briskly but do not run. Form three lines.’ [laughs]
Drake: ‘The next one I see shoving I will kill.’
[laughter]
Josie: Basically, she’s gonna be very calm and even about this, but if anyone like, so much as hesitates, she’s gonna like, whack their back with the butt of her hilt to get them going. Like, she’s just not working any hesitance and if anyone tries to like, speak to her, she’s gonna shut that down real quick.
[laughter]
Drake: ‘No, no, no. This is not a time for talking. This is a time for walking briskly and calmly and quietly out that door.’
Josie: Mm hmm.
Drake: And they’re all stepping over the corpse and everything, and walking past Aurelia, who’s still probably got a hand on that guard, right?
Paulomi: Oh, 100%. Still completely holding onto whatever, like, shirt, or…
Drake: Are you like, interrogating this guy? Or are you just kinda keeping control of them until the ballroom is emptied?
Paulomi: OI think it’s more keeping control until the ballroom is empty, and then I’m going to be very not nice with the way I question him. [laughs]
Drake: So—
Rhi: I have a question.
Drake: I love questions.
Rhi: What are our not-real guards doing? Are they trying to leave too?
Drake: So, the not-real guards, um, most of them actually, like, closed the doors from the other side and shut the bolts.
Rhi: Oh, so they’re already gone.
Drake: They’re already on the outs. You got one and he’s murdered, and you got the other one and Aurelia has his, like, shirt.
Rhi: Got it, got it. So we’ve got one— okay, You know what? That’s fine, because it means we’re not gonna have to deal with people physically trying to block our guests escaping.
Drake: Correct, yeah. But what might they be up to in the rest of the house? Tick a clock. [laughs] So, that’s what’s going on. People are filing out, the people who are standing there kinda doe-eyed, people who are near them at that point are trying to shake them awake. And it’s clear that they’re just standing there. Like, they do not have the motive power or the presence of mind to begin shuffling after the rest of the worthies who are filing out that door. A couple of them are being dragged along, but there are some that are just like, standing there as everybody is obeying the most militant airline stewardess ever.
Rhi and Josie: [laugh]
Drake: So, that’s what’s going on. I figure probably, you know, two minutes and the place will clear out. They’ll be out in the garden wandering what the hell went on and we can worry about that particular fire later, because the mist is still getting higher.
Rhi: I feel like once people are cleared out, we should move over into interrogation.
Josie: Yeah.
Rhi: [laughs]
Drake: That’s what we’re gonna get to. Like, the um, with the weave rent here, like, the mist is getting higher but it has stopped having that opalescent look about it. Like, there for a second it was almost like a solid thing, but now it’s more like standing on top of a mountain with a cloud that is filling the area. It’s got kind of a weird smell about it, but other than that, it looks like normal canal mist. You can feel, Luciana, that there was definitely like, a magical element here. And it’s like, clawing at you. But because you’ve rent the weave, because you’re a walking rend in the weave, like, it’s almost like you’re wearing a dive suit. You can feel the pressure on you, but it can’t get to you.
So, we have a couple of moments in the episode where we’re watching worthies passing by, and some of them are harrumphing to themselves, and some of them are, you know, a little trying to smack some sense into their dance partners of the night, but then as the last one passes, we see Aurelia, you know, hands on with this guard. Now, are we— my question here is, are we trying to get information out of this guy or are we just venting frustration here?
Paulomi: Mm…
Navi: Depends on who you’re talking to.
Drake: Okay.
Navi: A little of both.
Rhi: I would like information.
Navi: Little column A, little column B. [laughs]
Drake: So, Juliana passes. She’s one of the last ones to leave the room. She looks a little dazed, like she is in the midst of almost like a fainting spell. But she, you know, walks by and she sees you’ve got your hands on this guard. And she gives you a look. And it’s one of those looks that’s like, ‘You do whatever you have to’.
Josie: [laughs]
Navi: Carte blanche!
Paulomi: Yes, sir. [laughs]
[laughter]
Paulomi: I think after that look, Aurelia bodily throws this person towards whatever is producing this mist. Not thinking it’s gonna do anything, but just as a like, ‘Look at what you’ve done, what are you trying to do here?’ kind of action.
Drake: Yeah, he might as well have crashed, like, Juliana’s birthday party, right?
Paulomi: Yeah.
Drake: And like, he, you know, topples and goes down across a table as he smashes through it and—
Rhi: Jam buffet…
Drake: Oh yeah, the jam buffet is over. We have reached the end of jam.
Navi: Not the jam!
Drake: We have reached the end of jam.
Paulomi: The magic has been sucked from the jam buffet.
Drake: That’s it, yeah.
[laughter]
Rhi: No…
Paulomi: Oh no, I just thought about that. There were probably like, chandeliers that were hovering magically, and everything just crashing to the ground.
Rhi and Drake: Oh!
Drake: Oh no.
Rhi: Oh God, I hope not.
Drake: No, see, if it was Lovell I would say yes. But this is Battalia, and we believe in wrought iron here.
Navi: That’s right.
Josie: [laughs]
Paulomi: The jam buffet is relatively safe, except for a man just flew through it.
Drake: Yeah. A man just flew through the jam buffet, but otherwise everything’s salvageable. This is still a perfectly lovely evening. Except for this guy, because he like, gets up and he’s like, crunching across broken glass.
Paulomi: As soon as he gets up, I, with the bottom of my foot, pin him to the ground. And then just kind of like, rest an elbow on a knee.
Drake: Just in like—
Paulomi (as Aurelia): You’re gonna tell us what the plan is now.
Drake (as Guard): My part of the plan was to lock the doors, keep everybody in! I don’t know. What do you want from me— like, they paid me! I could tell you who?
Paulomi (as Aurelia): How much, and who?
Drake (as Guard): A lot, okay?
Paulomi (as Aurelia): How much is a lot?
Drake (as Guard): Enough to keep me gainfully employed, or not having to be gainfully employed, for at least six seasons.
Paulomi (as Aurelia): Enough to betray one of the houses of this fair city and risk your life doing it.
Drake (as Guard): Betray? No… they gave me a uniform, told me to come in here and just—
Paulomi (as Aurelia): You wear that uniform, you serve the house that it belongs to.
Drake (as Guard): Look, you got, you got me all wrong. I’m not, I’m no liege man, like… it just— it’s a job, you know?
Paulomi (as Aurelia): Who?
Drake (as Guard): It was…
Paulomi (as Aurelia): You said you had a name.
Drake (as Guard): Yeah, I mean, guy who brought me in was Poledo and you know, he has a guy that he worked for too. But, you know, Poledo says we were doing it for The Prince.
Rhi: [laughs] I feel like there’s an exchanging of looks here.
Josie: Yeah.
Paulomi: Which prince?
Josie: Inanna had been smiling when Aurelia said, uh [laughs] ‘If you wear the uniform, you serve the house.’ She’s like, ‘Yes. I approve.’
Rhi: [laughs] ‘This is correct. You get it.’
Josie: [laughs]
Rhi: I think Alessa is going to grab Lucy by the arm and be like— and look at Inanna and Aurelia and be like:
Rhi (as Alessa): Can you two handle things up here? I think we need to go find the source of this.
Rhi: And kinda points down.
Navi: Yeah I think the—
Josie: Inanna nods.
Navi: I think as you’re grabbing Lucy, you can see that she was starting to foolhardily try to pull the tile up, so she’s got like, the edge of a dagger underneath the tile and she’s trying to pry it up and as you grab her arm she’s like:
Navi (as Lucy): Yeah, that’s a much better idea.
Josie: [laughs]
Drake: No, I like your plan.
Rhi (as Alessa): It’s probably in the basement. Let’s go.
Drake: Yeah, underneath there’s a storage room. Usually you’d come out through— well, that door’s bolted, but you can probably get through one of these broken windows into the back area.
Rhi: I imagine Alessa has a fair bit of familiarity with the sort of, the behind the scenes area or the estates, because she gets along a lot better with most of the servants than the titled folk. So, I think she knows her way around. Maybe not necessarily House Battalia as well as her father’s house, but I think she’s just like, a place this big, there is absolutely— like, for a party like this, there is space underneath this room to do something. Store things, prepare food, I don’t know, but there is a space underneath and that’s where we should start looking.
Drake: For sure, yeah. The jam buffet didn’t come from nowhere. Like, it got brought up on a dumbwaiter from somewhere and that— yeah, exactly.
Navi: Is there a dumbwaiter in the room?
Drake: Well, not in here. Probably just out there.
Rhi: Yeah.
Navi: Let’s find the dumbwaiter! We’re going for a ride.
Rhi: Alright. [laughs]
Drake: Alright. So um, yeah, that’s the plan. We’re, um, go head down into the storage area and see what’s going on down there. Aurelia and Inanna are staying behind, right?
Josie: Mm hmm. Yeah.
Paulomi: Yep.
Drake: So—
Josie: By the way, is Juliana still here, or has she thoroughly left?
Drake: No, she’s out on the, on the— probably the treachery garden with her guests, trying to explain what just went on as best she can.
Josie: Oh okay, they haven’t fully left the estate yet. They’re just out in the treachery garden.
Drake: No, they’re not— they don’t have to go home, but they can’t stay here.
Josie: Gotcha.
Rhi: This just became an outdoor party.
Drake: Mm hmm.
Josie: I’m gonna be out there, um, kind of watching over Juliana. Because I don’t trust any of the security we’ve got anymore, besides us. So I’m just gonna be out there, keeping the peace.
Drake: For sure, yeah. Especially when, you know, she is kind of in a daze. Like, she looks like she’s— like, she’s comporting herself as she usually does, which is with grace and aplomb. But at the same time, she’s also swaying on her feet a little bit, like she… she looks like she got affected in some way, shape or form by what happened in there. She has gone paler than you usually see her.
Josie: Mm. Yeah, in that case I’ll offer to like, deliver what she wants to say for her so she can sit down.
Drake: Oh, okay. Yeah. She, you know, puts a hand on your shoulder and gives it, you know, an affectionate pat and she’s like:
Drake (as Juliana): Just let them know that everything’s safe and that we’re taking everything very seriously. It’s just a, um, there’s always somebody who’s jealous and… you know, something along those lines.
Drake: She like, sits down in kind of a flustered huff. But she looks up one last time and she’s like:
Drake (as Juliana): It was supposed to be a grand night.
Paulomi: Aww.
Josie (as Inanna): It is grand regardless.
Drake: Her smile is brittle, but thankful. Like, relieved.
Josie (as Inanna): Beauty is in the act and not the ending.
Drake: I like that a lot. So, we’re heading down into the storeroom below. I can tell you, as you are taking stairs or dumbwaiter or…
Rhi: Definitely taking the dumbwaiter. That’s more fun.
Drake: Definitely taking the dumbwaiter? Oh yeah, no, absolutely.
Rhi: Yeah.
Drake: So you guys cram yourselves into this dumbwaiter.
Navi: [laughs]
Drake: Slide it closed and just sort of like [imitates squeaky wheels] down into the pantry below. It’s a wine caller. It’s the place where all of the libations and refreshments and things should have been coming up and down if your servants hadn’t all been replaced by people who wished you ill. Down there is terrible sightlines. Like, this place is just stacked to the rafters with casks and barrels and things like that. Any number of people could be waiting in here. But that isn’t what catches your attention. What catches your attention is the machine. It’s smaller than a wagon, but it’s larger than a horse. And it looks like it’s been put together from clockwork and struts and spars, metal and you know, kind of leather ropes and things— or belts, moving on gears. And it’s just sort of cranking. And there are two hoppers on one side and then it’s got almost like a funnel that fits up against the top of the floor. It’s the ceiling in here, but floor down there, right?
Rhi: Yeah.
Drake: And those two hoppers are emptying. One of them is a bright silver, like almost looking into a mirror, you can see yourself in the reflection of this thing, this substance. And the other is almost like a putrid green gas. So one is almost like a silver liquid and the other one is a green gas. And they’re slowly draining as they are being pushed up into the floor.
Navi (as Lucy): Make sure I don’t get killed. I’m gonna try and figure out how to turn this off.
Rhi (as Alessa): Yep.
Navi: [laughs]
Rhi: Alessa is [laughs] going to follow and I think, yeah, I still— for the moment, I still have my baton in hand. But I do have an alternate weapon, if it comes to that.
Drake: Ooh.
Rhi: Well, my weapon is a frightening weapon.
Drake: Yes it is.
Rhi: And I have something very specific in mind if it’s needed, so.
Navi: Ooh. Well now it’s gonna be needed. [laughs]
Drake: When you say something like that, you understand that like, it’s needed, right?
Rhi: Yeah. Excellent. Great. [laughs]
Drake: So um, as Luciana is moving toward the machine that is happily rattling off, draining these two vials… what does Wren look like?
Rhi: [long sigh] Really?
Drake: [laughs]
Rhi: This is— alright.
[laughter]
Rhi: [sighs] This is how we’re doing it, huh? Okay, so Wren is a tall, I think fairly slight, non-binary person. They’ve got dark, very dark brown, verging into black hair that is usually done in a long braid. Light skin and I think has, sort of similar to Jean Carlo, has kind of one of those forgettable faces when, like, they’re at rest, but when talking if they’re animated or excited about something, you know, they’re the kind of person who can sort of light up a room.
Drake: Oh, yeah. So, Wren kinda detaches from the shadows and they kind of make themselves known to you. Like, it’s not even like they appear and they’re like, ‘Finally. Now we—’ you know?
Rhi: Yeah.
Drake: No, they just sort of detach and they, you know, raise a hand.
Drake (as Wren): Hey, Lessa. Um… this is awkward.
Paulomi: [laughs]
Rhi (as Alessa): Awkward is certainly the word for it— what are you doing here?
Drake (as Wren): Look, nobody’s gonna get hurt, Lessa. You know me. You know me well enough to know that I’m not for hurting people. No one was going to get hurt. It’s just… it’s just a job, okay? And this is just a proof on concept. It’s gonna be—
Rhi (as Alessa): Nothing that you are saying is sounding reassuring, Wren.
Drake (as Wren): There’s gonna be changes, Lessa. Changes for people like you and me. Not these people, us.
Navi (as Lucy): I’m in the room!
Drake: [laughs]
Rhi (as Alessa): And unfortunately for you, Wren, I am these people now. I made that very clear.
Drake (as Wren): I guess I just thought maybe you’d see it differently once you… once you saw, you know?
Rhi (as Alessa): Once I saw you filling a room, that I was in, by the way—
Drake (as Wren): You weren’t supposed to be.
Rhi (as Alessa): With some kind of— [sarcastic] I’m sorry, I missed your note telling me to skip the party tonight.
Drake (as Wren): No, The Prince said you weren’t going to be. He said he was gonna take care of it.
Rhi (as Alessa): When you say The Prince, who specifically do you mean?
Drake: Wren gives you kind of like the side-eye for a second and as they look off to one side for just a second, fix their hair.
Drake (as Wren): You know, I figured that you’d know that there’s only one prince in Ilrien, really. And he wears rags and tatters.
Navi: [giggles nervously] Oh shit.
Rhi: [sucks in breath] Ah.
Navi (as Lucy): That’s not a prince, that’s a bedtime story!
Navi: She’s kicking the machine. Slapping it with a wrench.
Josie: [laughs]
Rhi: Where did she get a wrench? We don’t know.
Navi: Don’t worry about it.
Rhi: [laughs] Alessa is going to stare at Wren for a few seconds and then is going to say… ah man, what is she going to say here?
Drake: I don’t know, but I can’t wait to hear it.
Rhi (as Alessa): Where’s the bomb?
Drake (as Wren): The bomb? Not here. I told you, no one’s gonna get hurt. Not tonight.
Rhi (as Alessa): Not ton— but there is a bomb, which means people are going to get hurt. So where is it?
Drake (as Wren): Don’t be boring. Come on, things are really gonna change. We’re gonna shake things up, it’s gonna be great. Look, too long people who have been wearing the mask have dictated everything about our lives. How to dress, how to think, what to do. That’s not for us. We could be free. Wasn’t that the idea? Like, Ilrien, once they threw off the Dread Emperor, we were all gonna be free? But instead, we traded one master for seven?
Rhi (as Alessa): And yet you’re following the commands of a prince, you claim. I was going to let you leave, but now you’ve informed me that you know about the bomb, so…
Rhi: Alessa’s gonna go and try and tackle them. [laughs] To like— not, not, you know, not going— but it’s kind of a, like, I’ve got a— I have to take you in for questioning, essentially. You have just informed me that you have information about a greater threat, so here we go.
Drake: ‘You only made one mistake.’ ‘What’s that?’ ‘Spear!’
[laughter]
Drake: Alright, well that makes sense to me. So just in motion then, flying tackle? How do you wanna do this?
Rhi: Uh, yeah, I think I’m just gonna— like, I think that Alessa has been sort of moving in as this conversation’s been happening, primarily to put herself between Wren and Lucy, so Lucy can work on shutting this thing down?
Drake: Sure.
Rhi: So what I’m picturing is that Alessa is standing in front of them and just, yeah, does sort of a leap.
Drake: Okay, yeah.
Rhi: Um, so I can roll something.
Drake: What do you think this is? Like, what is your goal here? You’re trying to restrain Wren, right?
Rhi: Yeah. I feel like this is probably Skirmish. I’m not trying to cause harm, but I need to, yeah, get them—[laughs]
Drake: You’re entangling them in—
Rhi: Restrained.
Drake: Entangling them in close combat. That sounds Skirmish to me. So yeah, I think Wren is— you know what? I need more information on Wren from you. Like, when you guys were together, when you guys were friends? When you were more than friends? What was the context? Was this somebody who used to run in the underworld with you?
Rhi: Mm hmm. Yeah. Wren, um, I’m not sure exactly what Wren is up to now in terms of— I mean, obviously they’ve found a calling.
Drake: Sure.
Rhi: But they—
Drake: Everybody needs a hobby.
Rhi: I think more of a finesse and precision-based fighter, but still a fighter. Somebody who could throw down in a street brawl.
Drake: That makes sense.
Rhi: But is gonna be— not necessarily getting in there with fists, but, you know, can make very strategic use of throwing rocks or bottles or things like that.
Drake: Or a joint lock or something like that.
Rhi: Yeah, yeah
Drake: It’s not brute force, it’s finesse. Okay. That tells me everything I need to know, because here you come in a flying tackle towards Wren. I think right now you’re risky, limited.
Rhi: Okay. Here we go… do I wanna push myself?
Drake: I dunno, do you? There’s also Lady’s Favors on the table.
Rhi: Oh yeah, sure. Let’s do a Lady’s Favor. That’s always fun.
Drake: Lady’s Favor here is that Wren’s not alone down here.
Rhi: Hmm. Mm… sure.
Drake: Yeah?
Navi: [laughs] Oh no!
Rhi: It’s okay. This will just give me an excuse to bust out my scary weapon.
Paulomi: Yay!
Rhi: Um, that’s a 5.
Drake: Alright, well it’s a 5, so you get what you like. You have Wren, you guys are down in a tangle of limbs on the bare stone of the cellar here, rolling, grappling, like you get your goodnight stick in there a couple of good times. But the bad news is that you catch a couple in the same tussle right?
Rhi: Yeah.
Drake: I’m gonna give you a— just a level 2 harm.
Rhi: Okay.
Drake: And I think what it’s gonna be is that, like, you’re concussed.
Rhi: Okay. Can I roll to resist that?
Drake: Absolutely, you can.
Rhi: Okay. I assume that will be with Body?
Drake: Yeah.
Rhi: Great. That’s my best [laughs] resistance.
Drake: Yay!
Navi: ‘It’s okay, it was just my head.’
Rhi: Ooh… I got a 6. Flex it off. [laughs]
Drake: No, I mean, you guys almost went down into one of these racks of barrels, and instead of accidentally kicking out the support and dropping barrels amongst you and like, catching a good thwack to the head, instead you’re off on your back foot, but you’re okay. You managed to avoid harm here. But the— yeah, you’re locked up with Wren as the two shadows detach from the back of the room and begin moving toward Luciana. Luciana, how’s that bomb coming?
Navi: Um, I’m going to do a Study, I think. I’m trying to figure out how to detach the individual components that are being fed into this thing.
Drake: Oh, you’re trying to pull out the reaction masker.
Navi: So I’m trying to be gentle first, right? So, my thought is I dismantle the part that’s threatening and then, you know, last-ditch effort, I stuff something into the cogs, right?
Drake: Yeah.
Navi: So Lucy’s kinda like, she’s looking at it and she’s very carefully moving things around, she’s trying to remember, she’s like:
Navi (as Lucy): Dammit, I failed Leonardo’s class! I can’t— I don’t remem— I hate machinery!
Navi: And I’m gonna roll Study. So I have to push myself really hard to try and remember anything that Leonardo Dianche said.
Josie: [laughs]
Navi: In his class.
Rhi: [laughs]
Drake: ‘Why couldn’t it have been just magic!’
Navi: [laughs] I’m guessing I’m risky right now?
Drake: Yeah, you’re risky. And you’re standard as well.
Navi: Okay. I’ve got a bonus die from pushing myself.
Drake: Mm hmm.
Navi: I’m gonna deal with the first Lady’s Favor before I ask for another one. [laughs]
Drake: Okay, fair enough. Alright, so as you’re looking over this thing, it seems pretty simple. Well, no, it doesn’t look at all simple. Instead it looks like a hell-forged confabulation of all kinds of different parts, but you do realize that only one of the cylinders in there is dangerous in and of itself, and that’s the green gas which is the carrier of the— whatever that liquid is. You’re almost 100% sure, almost, that if you pull out the silver vial of liquid, that that’s stable. If it, you know, is pulled out of the machine, it wont mix with the green gas and get shot up through the stones above you and everything will be fine. Like, the machine can be down here until somebody who knows machines can come down and turn it off. So that’s what you got. Now, also what you got are two guys coming to put the boots to you.
Navi: Mm hmm.
Drake: So, at this point, like, you know what to do, but before you can do it, there’s a hand on your shoulder. What do you do?
Navi: I think that I probably have picked up a couple things. I mean, my best friends are from the streets, my sister’s a big old, uh, tank, my babysitter is literally, like, a 5000-year-old beefsteak…
[laughter]
Navi: [laughs] I have got— I have got this idea in my head that maybe I’ve learned enough to where I’m not gonna try and fight this guy, but I’m gonna try and out-maneuver him. So he puts his hand on my shoulder and I’m gonna try and like, grab that hand and just slip out from under it? Like, just kind of try and side-step this guy, get out from under him and grab the silver vial and give myself a little bit of space.
Drake: Alright, yeah. That makes sense to me. So, do you think that’s like a Maneuver?
Navi: Yeah, it’s definitely a Maneuver. Because I’m not fighting this guy or wrecking him, I’m just trying to give him the slip.
Drake: Yeah, you’re trying to make space.
Navi: This is not my best. This is not my best thing. I’m trying to debate whether or not I’m pushing myself here. What would be a Lady’s Favor in this particular scenario?
Drake: Ooh. In this particular scenario, um… I think when you… I think this, um, this silver liquid has some kind of effect that is going to— what’s the word? Manifest when you pull it out of the machine.
Navi: Oh, that sounds fun. How much worse can I make this situation? That’s what’s happening.
Paulomi: [laughs]
Drake: See, this is why I love playing games with Navi, because Navi drives it like a stolen car.
Josie and Rhi: [laugh]
Navi: [laughs] Mixed success.
Drake: Okay, well a mixed success here means that you get the vial out, um, before the guy spins you around. But in spinning you around, this material splashes out of the vial. It coats the guy in front of you and it, uh, it does not have the same effect that it had upstairs. Like, it is not a kind or gentle thing. When it splashes on this guy, like, it clings to his skin. There is a spreading of this silver and then a light that lights behind his eyes. He is now— it’s almost like seeing Colossus put on the armor, from like, X-Men. And he speaks with the voice of a legion when he opens his mouth. Like, it’s a cacophony of whispers and it’s like:
Drake (as Legion): [hoarsely] Free…
Navi: I’m looking at the vial. [laughs]
Drake: Inanna. There is a… there is a disturbance in the force.
Rhi: Uh oh!
Josie: [laughs] Uh…
Drake: Like, you feel it. There is a moment where you are back on one of the most difficult battlefields that you ever stood upon, and there is a moment when the Dread Emperor sends forth one of his alchemical horrors. I think it was… like, it had a name, I’m sure, that all the wonks, military intelligence or whatever called it. Troopers just called it The Speaking Silver. And that’s the feeling that you get. This— it was like a terror engine that they would release to break up a line before they launched an assault. And you feel one under your boots. What do you do?
Paulomi: [nervous]
Josie: Inanna will turn to Juliana.
Josie (as Inanna): Everyone needs to leave.
Drake: Juliana looks as though she’s about to say no, but her eyes seek out Aurelia. Aurelia?
Paulomi: Um, I think I’m done bullying [laughs] this one not-actually-a-guard, and I think I’m truing around as soon as Inanna and Juliana have this exchange. I don’t think I overheard it, but it’s just one of those things, just through body language I can tell things have gone from bad to worse.
Drake: I mean, you and Inanna have worked together long enough to where, like, you can tell from just the way that she’s carrying herself right now, things have changed.
Paulomi: She’s cruisin’ for a bruisin’.
Drake: Oh yeah, oh yeah, for sure. Like, when Juliana seeks out your gaze looking for confirmation that this is not just, you know, the revenant feeling something happening, The Curse feeling something happening, you know, after 5000 years of flashbacks, do you back Inanna up here?
Paulomi: Um, first a question.
Drake: I love that.
Paulomi: Is there anybody in this crowd that I can trust to keep Juliana safe?
Drake: Yes. Name them.
Paulomi: Um… I think it’s a friend, I think it’s somebody that I have trained with for a very long time.
Drake: Another Bravo?
Paulomi: Another Bravo.
Drake: Okay.
Paulomi: Ooh, let’s come up with a name, shall we?
Rhi: Yeah, I mean, you have people on your friends list on your character sheet that you could—
Paulomi: I do! I think there’s someone here named Ari, a childhood rival, but I think we trained together, we were… I guess the term would be knighted together.
Drake: Yep.
Paulomi: I think I seek them out, I catch their eye, I give them a very hard look and then return my gaze to Juliana.
Paulomi (as Aurelia): I think we need to find the other two.
Josie (as Inanna): Yes. If they are still alive.
Paulomi: [shocked laugh]
Drake: Ari returns your nod, like, meets your gaze and then just give a nod. Like, as though there is no question whatsoever. And Juliana follows your gaze toward Ari in that moment and then back she’s like:
Drake (as Juliana): Go where best you can do good.
Paulomi: I think I just turn heel and then go the direction that I saw Lucy and Lessa go.
Drake: So, as we’re down in the basement with you two kinda tramping down the stairs at the double, you burst in on a scene—
Navi: [laughs] I was trying to imagine the two of them smashed together in the dumbwaiter.
Drake: Oh no, no we’re not doing the dumbwaiter.
Rhi: [laughs]
Paulomi: We’re not getting in the dumbwaiter! Collectively, there’s too much mass.
Navi: [laughs]
Josie: I have a question. Is the room they’re in below the ballroom?
Rhi: [apprehensively] … yeah?
Drake: Yes, it is.
Josie: Because what I was thinking—
Rhi: You’re not taking the stairs, are ya? [laughs]
Josie: No, I am not.
Navi: God bless! [laughs]
Drake: Oh, this is beautiful.
Navi: God! Bless!
Josie: You see, cause I took this wonderful ability called Void Blade.
Paulomi: [laughs]
Josie: I think as soon as Aurelia is with her and Juliana is gone, Inanna turns around, just walks over to the center of the ballroom where the mist was coming out….
Rhi: [laughs]
Josie: Draws her sword and it begins to steam…
Drake: Oh no.
Josie: Like it’s really hot. But, it’s not hot. In fact, the room gets very cold.
Paulomi: I love everything that’s happening now so much.
Josie: And I’m pushing myself, which also activates Void Blade, which allows me to cut through stone and steel like butter.
Drake: Yes it does.
Navi: [delighted] Yes!
Drake: Yes, it does.
Rhi: [laughs]
Drake: Who is your favorite superhero and why is it Collateral Damage Girl?
[laughter]
Josie: And she’s just gonna make one, two very clean cuts right between where the tiles meet on the floor. Just one vertical, one horizontal. And she’s going down through the floor, baby!
Navi: Hell yes! Hell yes!
Josie: [laughs]
Drake: Well, now we don’t have to worry about shutting the machine off.
Paulomi: ‘Here I come!’ [laughs]
Drake: Because down comes the floor. And smashes the machine.
Rhi: There it goes.
Josie: [laughs]
Drake: So, coming down like a battle titan comes Inanna. Aurelia, are you jumping down the hole too? Were you on the floor—
Paulomi: Oh, 100%. This is a billion times cooler than me using the stairs.
Drake: Yeah, so the heavies come in as, like, Lessa—
Paulomi: The shock troopers.
Rhi: [laughs]
Drake: Lessa and Lucy are down there, like, with Wren, with two toughs that are now, one of them is a Speaking Silver, and then the shock troops from above— like, you guys got combat air support all of a sudden.
Rhi: [laughs]
Drake: So that’s the scene. Wren and Alessa, like, Wren is trying to get Alessa’s arm into a lock and looks up just in time to see the floor give way. Lucy is there, holding onto half a vial of this silver stuff and this thing that used to be a man is speaking in a legion of whispers in her face, growing appendages inside of his mouth. Like…
Rhi: Oh.
Josie: Oh.
Drake: So, like, the silver is reshaping him into a more useful form, is what it looks like. And it’s not— it’s not pretty. But that’s what you see when you come on down. So, what are you guys doing? Like, as soon as you guys hit the floor you get a second to get your bearings, but then you gotta be in motion.
Josie: I’m definitely having an anime hero landing, where I land knees crouched with my blade outstretched. And I’m gonna immediately charge toward the Speaking Silver.
Drake: Oh yeah.
Josie: Hoping to like, cut their head off before the silver can spread too much?
Drake: Oh, perfect. Yeah. Absolutely. Now, you’ve gotta friend in the mix there, so I’m gonna make this, like, I think— Speaking Silver was a shock troop, a hate of the ancient times— I think right now it’s risky, limited, but I could see desperate, standard here. What do you think?
Josie: Okay. Well, Void Blade automatically gives me plus one effect.
Drake: Correct.
Josie: So… and then, does my weapon being Tier III count for anything?
Drake: Yeah, that’s what’s giving you the limited effect.
Josie: [laughs] Okay.
Drake: You could get this risky standard or desperate greater.
Josie: Um, oh. I’m gonna go for desperate, greater.
Rhi: [laughs knowingly]
Drake: Hell yeah, let’s do it.
Josie: That’s fun. And what does a Lady’s Favor look like here?
Navi: [laughs]
Drake: Lady’s Favor here? Uh, I think the Lady’s Favor here is that the floor coming down cracked the vessel for that green gas. So we’re gonna have—
Josie: Yeah, I’ll take that.
Drake: —whatever that was. Okay, cool.
Josie: Let’s add another clock, why not?
Drake: Hey, why not?
Paulomi: [laughs]
Drake: Look, I love clocks. I have like, six clocks over here.
Josie: So, I think this is Skirmish.
Drake: Yes, it is.
Josie: [rolls dice] Critical.
Drake: Critical! That’s what I like to hear. Excellent.
Josie: [laughs]
Drake: Alright, so what do you think? Cause this thing, like, I think it feels you in the same way that you feel it. Like, there’s a moment of shared kinship between you two. Like, is there— do you spare this thing words, or do you just end it?
Josie: Well, I want to end it, but before the pieces of it fall to the ground, I want a parting line.
Drake: Oh, please give me your parting line.
Josie: Inanna just whispers:
Josie (as Inanna): Rest now. I’m supposed to be the only one still awake.
Drake: Oh, yes!
Navi: Aww.
Drake: Yes, ah, I love that. Okay. The pieces of the silver thing go like, quiescent and begin to seep into the stones of the floor. Just gone. You’ve still got half a vial of this in your hand Lucy, like, how does that make you feel?
Navi: I’m strangely okay with it, I’m just like slinking away from the situation.
Drake: Sure.
Paulomi: [laughs]
Navi: Me and my vial of horrifying ancient magic are just like, ‘Alright, it’s time to become one with the wall over here.’
Drake: Alright.
Navi: [laughs]
Rhi: [laughs]
Drake: So Aurelia, as you come down there’s a crack, you hear a tink, tink, tink, of like, glass that’s pushed beyond its limits. And there’s a hissing sound, like a pressure vessel has been breached. And there’s this kind of vague green vapor that is starting to come up from the floor. But meanwhile, Wren has Lessa entangled in combat over here. There’s also one other thug who is looking in mute horror at what’s going on. But as soon as he sees the green gas, he immediately reaches down for a pouch on his side and he pulls out like, a vial. And he pops the cork.
Paulomi: I’m gonna throw a knife at him.
Drake: Oh, do it. Get him.
[laughter]
Paulomi: I feel like I see him reach for something and I don’t even hesitate. I take my boot knife out and I throw it. Is this a risky position?
Drake: This is risky, yeah.
Paulomi: And standard effect?
Drake: Yeah.
Paulomi: 5 and a 4.
Drake: Okay, so what you end up getting here, I think, is gonna be reduced position. I think this guy, like, you’re gonna knock this vial out of his hand and it’s gonna go skittering off into the dark, um, and he is panicking. I think he’s like, running right— he’s gonna try and run past you at this point. Are you gonna let him?
Paulomi: I think I’m gonna catch him.
Drake: Okay.
Paulomi: And I’m gonna use his physical form to try and remove Wren from the situation that Alessa is dealing with. [laughs]
Drake: Oh my God yeah, trolling him.
Rhi: Beat a motherfucker with another motherfucker.
Drake: As it should be.
Josie: [laughs]
Paulomi: [laughs] Um, what would this be? I feel like it’s Wreck. I feel like…
Drake: Yeah, it’s gotta be Wreck, right?
Paulomi: Same as last time, right? Risky and standard. What is the Lady’s Favor for this kinda action?
Drake: Oh… Lady’s Favor for beating a motherfucker with a motherfucker.
Paulomi: Yeah.
Rhi: [laughs]
Drake: I think at this point, like, I’m willing to give you another die if, like, I think Wren will get away here.
Paulomi: Mm…
Rhi: [whispers] Yeah! Do it!
Paulomi: Okay, okay. I do it. So, one die.
Rhi: [laughs] I want my ex to be a nemesis who keeps coming back to ruin my life!
Josie: Yeah.
Drake: What is— what do you think this looks like? Cause I mean, I see you hurling this dude who is trying to, you know, drink the antidote. Do you think that he, like, added to the limbs? Like, Alessa breaks free and Wren scrambles away?
Paulomi: So, the vial gets knocked out of his hand, he runs and I think in one very fluid motion I grab the back of his collar and just kind of haul him forward. And it forces him to stumble backward into Wren. So, it’s just kind of a pile of people here…
Drake: Perfect.
Josie: [laughs]
Paulomi: That leaves Alessa standing.
Drake: Oh, I love that. Yeah. So—
Rhi: I—
Drake: Go ahead, Lessa.
Rhi: I think Alessa, like, doesn’t— cause I imagine that this was just a wrestling brawl on the floor. Alessa like, rolls underneath one of the stands of the wine casks and comes up dress filthy, ruined, torn, but has a weapon in her hands now. [laughs]
Paulomi: Yay!
Drake: What is it?
Rhi: So, okay, this is gonna be very specific. In Kill Bill Volume 1… [laughs]
Josie: [laughs]
Rhi: Uh, there was the Yakuza fight and the final boss of that encounter was Gogo Yubari—
Navi: Not Gogo! [laughs]
Rhi: Who had what I think was officially called a meteor hammer.
Paulomi: Yay!
Drake: Meteor hammer.
Josie: Oh, yeah. I love those.
Rhi: Which is a chain with a ball on the end which is spiked and can spout— like, the spikes can switch the razor blades. So that’s my frightening weapon.
Drake: Oh God. Jesus.
Rhi: [laughs]
Navi: You love to see it.
Drake: I’m terrified.
Rhi: [laughs] That she just comes out with and is like, ‘Okay. I am ready to throw down.’ That felt like the kind of weapon that somebody from The Twist would have.
Drake: Yup. Yeah, no, that checks out for me. [laughs] So—
Rhi: I think it was probably originally just a ball and chain and since she’s come into money, she’s added some things.
Drake: Well yeah! Cause, I mean, you gotta. You gotta treat yourself, right?
Rhi: Yeah. [laughs]
Drake: Okay.
Josie: Inanna’s somber mood is broken by a big smile. She’s very happy to see Alessa in particular wielding that. [laughs]
Drake: So at this point, like, this guy who just got hucked into the melee and now all of a sudden there’s a meteor hammer at play drops down to his knees, put his hands up and he’s like:
Drake (as Thug): I’ll tell you everything.
Navi (as Lucy): What’s in the green vial?
Rhi: And Wren has already vanished at this point, I assume.
Drake: Wren is, like, there’s the sound of footsteps on the stairs. If you really pushed yourself here, you could probably run fast enough to see them get away.
Rhi: I think that Alessa knows Wren well enough to know that Wren was always faster. Alessa’s not gonna be able to catch up. So, she’s just gonna let them go.
Drake: Alright. Well, in that case, you can hear their boots on the stairs, you can hear the sound of the doors being kicked open and off Wren goes. Probably to make trouble for us later on down the line.
Rhi: Yay.
Drake: There’s one poor mook who’s still sitting on the floor, wanting no part of meteor hammer. He reaches into his vest and pulls out a symbol. And it’s the Ironmonger’s seal.
Drake (as Thug): I have protection. You can’t— please. Just, stop. I’m sorry.
Rhi (as Alessa): [sighs] So who hired who? Cause I heard from Wren that this was The Prince of Tatters.
Drake (as Thug): I don’t know nothing about a Prince of Tatters, I’m sorry. I’m just— I was here to set up the machine and uh, and that was where I was— it was supposed to be over. But like, we need to get out of here. Fast would be better than slow.
Navi (as Lucy): What’s in the green vial?
Drake (as Thug): Um, so it’s Wraithbloom? It’s um, it’s an alchemical mixture. Look, we can do this somewhere else, right?
Paulomi (as Aurelia): No no, finish what you were saying.
Navi (as Lucy): I like the— continue, yeah. I like this look on your face right now.
Navi: And she’s dragging this conversation out, she’s kind of like, looking over her shoulder and she’s like— only Inanna can see what comes crawling out of the dark recesses that has been keeping an eye the entire time, but knows to stay out of the way until it’s summoned. And it’s Lucy’s familiar. And this strange sort of alien fey creature, it walks on two legs but it’s only— it’s only about a foot and a half tall. And its huge alien eyes and antlers on its head, and it’s really rather cute until it smiles and its entire face turns to teeth.
Drake: I don’t like that. [laughs]
Josie: Hmm.
Paulomi: [high-pitched] Hmm…
Rhi: I love it. It’s my favorite now.
[laughter]
Navi: Terrifying. So—[laughs]
Rhi: Oh yes, that too. For sure.
Navi: So Chitter comes walking out.
Drake: Chitter.
Navi: Chitter.
Drake: It’s name is Chitter.
Navi: For the sound that it makes when it’s showing the teeth.
Drake: [laughs]
Josie: Honestly, hot.
Navi: [laughs loudly] So as Chitter comes walking out, looking kind of avariciously at the green vial, I want to establish the concept that alchemicals and nature-borne items cannot hurt fey creatures. And it wants to drink it.
Drake: Alright, yeah.
Navi: I don’t know if it’s possible it could still get sick from it.
Drake: Yeah, uh, I feel like that might be a fortune roll.
Navi: A fortune roll?
Drake: A fortune roll to see how it effects Chitter.
Navi: Alright. This is gonna be fun.
Paulomi: You said only Inanna can see Chitter, correct?
Navi: Yeah, no one else sees this terrible razorblade creature.
Paulomi: Aight! [laughs] Good, good, good.
Rhi: It’s probably for the best.
Josie: Uh huh.
Drake: Inanna, how, um—s o like, Chitter is a thing that is always apparently around, around Lucy. What is your opinion of this little fey razorblade creature?
Josie: Um…
Drake: Disturbing menace or, you know, kindred spirit?
Josie: It’s…
Drake: Somewhere between?
Josie: She doesn’t trust it.
Drake: Fair.
Josie: And less about not trusting Chitter in specific, but just, she kinda sees the fey forces as chaotic and potentially disloyal and unreliable and very dangerous, right? So it’s kind of like every— it’s kind of like her opposite in terms of supernatural stuff. So she’s— it makes her uncomfortable.
Drake: I can see that.
Navi: I think that works really well, because I imagine that pretty much every other Knack has a elemental that is some manner of— or a familiar that is some manner of elemental. It’s kind of— it’s something that’s more…
Drake: Tractable? Controllable?
Navi: Yeah, controllable. Something that’s created more so than something that’s tamed. So, you know, Lucy’s just always the odd one out, because she doesn’t typically perform magic so much as she shuts magic off, and she doesn’t have an elemental or a familiar that you would normally find, instead she has this strange alien creature that bonded to her.
Drake: That says a lot about you, doesn’t it?
Paulomi: [laughs] It does, yeah.
Drake: It’s cool. Okay, so everybody but Inanna can see, like, the vial fished out of the rubble, right?
Navi: Mm hmm.
Drake: Everyone can see it, like, tipped back. They can almost hear the glug, glug, glug sounds.
Navi: [laughs]
Drake: As Chitter up-ends this little crystal vial. And then there’s, like, it drops to the floor, it shatters. Then there’s this weird kind of haze in the air, right, as Chitter releases this strange— with a mouth that wide, full of razorblade teeth, a belch is a terrifying thing.
Navi: [laughs]
Paulomi: Mm hmm…
Josie: [laughs]
Drake: And, it’s almost like the walls reverberate a little it in this cellar. So, I gotta tell you that Chitter’s gonna be weird going forward. There’s gonna be like a—
Navi: Say— [laughs]
Drake: No, I mean, lemme finish this here. Because Chitter at this point— Chitter’s never spoken. That’s one of the things about familiars, familiars don’t speak.
Josie: Oh.
Paulomi: I hate this line. [laughs] This is terrible.
Drake: What does Chitter’s, like, eyes look like? Do they have eyes?
Navi: On yeah, they’re massive, too big for their head, owlishly large, glassy black eyes, like obsidian.
Drake: I assume somewhat between a tarsier and like a gremlin.
Navi: Yeah.
Drake: Perfect. So, it looks over and licks its lips primly, scratches one cheek and goes:
Drake (as Chitter): [very deep voice] This is a disturbing turn of events.
[laughter]
Drake: Just like, full-on man voice.
[laughter]
Navi: [stammers] I’m looking, I’m looking at it speaking and:
Navi (as Lucy): Huh.
Drake: And like, Chitter coughs once and tries again.
Drake (as Chitter): [scratchy, nasal voice] Sorry, boss. That was weird.
Paulomi: [laughs]
Navi (as Lucy): Huh.
Navi: Still just making the huh face and looking at it like, ‘It’s still talking’.
Drake: Yeah, so everybody— everybody’s watching Lucy like, staring at an empty patch of space where a bottle just floated and then smashed.
Rhi (as Alessa): Luce, you okay over there?
Navi (as Lucy): Uh— the— uh— a— mm… yeah. We’re— we’re good.
Rhi (as Alessa): Did you breathe in any of the gas? Is that the problem here?
Navi (as Lucy): No—
Navi: Do we have any other fires to put out?
Drake: The um… the, the, you know, Ironmonger who’s on his knees there looks around and is like:
Drake (as Ironmonger): So… where do we go from here?
Navi (as Lucy): You get to make special with the torture brigade while the rest of us go enjoy the rest of the party!
Drake (as Ironmonger): No, no, no, I said I would answer all of your questions. There’s no need for any of that.
Navi (as Lucy): We’re not the people who take all the questions being answered. See, there are smarter folks than us who ask very specific questions. And you’re going to have to answer all of them.
Drake (as Ironmonger): I can do that, that’s fine. Yeah. I’m cooperating!
Navi: I think that Battalia is, because of the old house of martial valor, I think that they’re very— there’s no torture in House Battalia. They’re not going to like, take that person away and actually hurt them. But Lucy doesn’t know that they know that. So she’s having—
[laughter]
Navi: She’s having fun at their expense and just taking a moment to terrify them, because after all, they tried to ruin her party.
Drake: Sure. That makes sense.
Rhi: It’s true.
Drake: So, the Ironmonger, he goes— I assume you kind of frog-march him out of the, uh— you don’t have to worry about shutting down the machine or anything, that’s busted. Maybe a new floor in the offing, but as you frog-march him up and out—
Rhi: That’s someone else’s problem.
Drake: Exactly. We have people for that, it’s fine. Frog-march him up and out and into the, uh, the crisp spring evening. Like, the party has just kinda moved to the front courtyard. Juliana has managed to put it all back together.
Paulomi: Skills.
Drake: Oh yeah. No, look: you guys have your skills, she has hers. Prince Battalia has made an appearance, has come out and spoken of a glorious going forward of the Esultare all working in harmony to right the wrongs of the city, bring us back to an older day, a better day. A day of, you know, justice… the standard talking points, right?
Rhi: I’m imagining that the four of us plus our prisoner are just like, standing at the back of the crowd waiting quietly. Like, we don’t wanna be noticed by any of the guests but it’s like, ‘Hello.’
Drake: ‘Please don’t perceive me until I’m ready.’
Rhi: ‘We have a—’
Navi: But we’re also all, like, bedraggled and filthy. [laughs]
Rhi: Oh, yeah. I do think also that Alessa’s father was coming with the prince. Niko Cavalcante.
Drake: Ah, Niko.
Rhi: He’s a military captain of House Battalia.
Drake: Oh, perfect. He was probably there in the honor guard. Left hand of the prince. And probably the only one to be looking, just like, laser-focused at you and your torn and bedraggled gown, you know, holding onto the arm of a Battalia guard it looks like, except he’s wearing an Ironmonger sigil around his neck. And you can see just, there’s a small muscle that twitches in the left of his jaw.
Rhi: [laughs]
Drake: But otherwise, just a perfectly impassive mask.
Rhi: Alessa gives him the biggest, brightest, toothiest shit-eating grin.
Paulomi: [laughs]
Drake: Perfect.
Rhi: Because she knows he can’t do anything about it.
Paulomi: [laughs loudly]
Drake: I think that’s where the errand ends for tonight.
Rhi: Yeah!
Josie: Yep.
Navi: Mm hmm.
Navi: [laughs] Oh, that’s fantastic.
## Outro [01.04.07]
Thanks for listening. The coterie of House Battalia will return in two weeks. In the meantime, check out our other shows on clevercorvids.net and follow us on Twitter @clever_corvids.
Court of Blades was GM’d by Shawn Drake. Follow him on twitter @drakeanddice.
Alessa Cavalcante was played by Rhi, who also edited and produced the show. Follow her on Twitter @Rhiannon42, and check out her accessibility work at rpgskillcheck.net.
Aurelia Fiorelli di Battalia was played by Paulomi Pratap. She’s the art director of Descent into Midnight, and you can see more of her work on her website paulomipratap.com and follow her on Twitter @paulomisp.
Inanna was played by Josie. Follow her on Twitter @DragonGirlJosie, and check out her art portfolio at josie-art.com.
Luciana Fiorelli was played by Navi Drake. Follow her on Twitter @navimusing.
The opening and closing credits music is Epilogue, by Dee Yan-Key, and is used under a Creative Commons License. Court of Blades is a Forged in the Dark game and is the creation of A Couple of Drakes. More information about the game can be found on their website acoupleofdrakes.com.
## Blooper [01.05.38]
Josie: Forgive me, but I just imagined the Maggie Simpson clip of her going [deep voice] “Truly this is a strange and disturbing universe”.
[laughter]